It doesn’t matter one way or the other, she told herself. Men usually were drawn to the same kind of woman, and from the little she’d learned about Alex’s dead wife, she wasn’t the least bit like her.
“I’m going back to work,” Shannon told Kane a few days later. Her brother and his wife, Beth, had come to their mother’s house for a visit and she’d joined them, more on edge than ever. Not that seeing her brother had helped. Kane’s blissfully happy marriage was another reminder of how alone she felt.
“I don’t think so.”
“Kane, I want—”
“You’ve been stressed out, you need to relax,” Kane interrupted. He finished diapering his daughter and lifted the baby to his shoulder. Robin looked even tinier against his broad chest, and something inside Shannon ached with renewed force. It was yet another reminder of everything she wanted, and couldn’t seem to get.
“I’m fine.”
“You can’t spend your entire life working,” Kane pointed out. His advice would have sounded reasonable except that before he’d gotten married he used to work more hours than she’d ever thought of putting into the company.
Shannon’s mother patted her arm. “That’s right, darlin’.” Her Irish accent lilted, never quite lost despite the years she’d spent away from her native land.
“I’m fine. It’s being on a forced vacation that’s driving me crazy.”
That, and thinking about the McKenzies.
She’d realized that Alex’s bedroom was on the other side of the wall from hers, and that knowledge was keeping her awake nights. The walls were too well insulated to hear his bed creak, but she heard other faint sounds and couldn’t help wondering about certain things.
Innocent things.
Such as…did he sleep nude at night?
Yeah, that was innocent.
Perfectly innocent.
It had been awhile since she’d thought about a man that way. Her last relationship had turned into such a disaster that she’d become frozen. Now she was thawing, and it was just her luck that a guaranteed heartbreak was the reason.
“You’re still on vacation,” Kane said calmly. He rubbed the baby’s back and smiled at Shannon’s frustrated expression.
“You can’t be so arbitrary just because I’m your sister.”
“I’d do the same for any executive with signs of burn-out. You’re still getting paid, so what’s the big deal?”
“I am not burned-out.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
Shannon swallowed.
After their father had died, she’d decided she would be the tough one, the one who teased and laughed and smiled when she didn’t feel like smiling. If she had trouble at school, she braved things out. If her heart got broken, she turned it into a joke—just so long as nobody found her crying in bed and upsetting her family. Over the years she’d perfected a breezy veneer that made everyone think she was impervious to the usual hurts and disappointments. She was an expert on putting on a good face; now was the time to prove it.
“Nothing is wrong,” Shannon said, waving her hand. “It’s the holiday season and people slack off. I must have gone overboard trying to keep my staff geared up for any problems that might happen.”
Kane nodded, his gaze searching her face. He didn’t seem entirely convinced, though he appeared less concerned than before. “All right. But I promised everyone they’d have another few days without the dragon lady, so you’ll have to stay away longer.”
She wrinkled her nose, making certain none of her frustration showed. “Dragon lady? Thanks a bunch. Is it too late for me to cancel a few Christmas bonuses?”
He chuckled. “Way too late.”
Shannon kept things light through lunch, working to get her mother, brother and sister-in-law laughing. But it was a relief when she pulled out of her mother’s driveway, escaping their watchful gazes. She drove for a long time, up into the hills, finally swinging by Neil’s house.
She frowned as she tapped her fingers on the steering wheel and gazed at the modern log structure. She would have sworn that Neil, of all her brothers, would never get married and live outside the city, but he’d fallen for Libby like a ton of bricks. Two tons.
Sighing, Shannon headed home, deciding not to call Neil and his wife.
A winter sunset burned pink and gold on the western horizon as she finally pulled into her driveway, but she didn’t have time to appreciate it before Jeremy flew across the yard, waving madly with one arm, the other clutching Mr. Tibbles.
An involuntary smile curved her mouth.
“Hey, Jeremy,” she said, opening the car door.
“Hey, Shannon.”
They had exchanged a few hellos and good-byes over the past few days, with Alex then hustling his son away with insulting speed. Of course, the speed might have been due to Washington’s beastly winter weather, but it was still a little insulting.
“What have you been up to?” she asked as she got out.
“Daddy ’n’ me are putting up Christmas lights,” Jeremy said solemnly.
She noticed an expandable ladder leaning against the McKenzies’ condo. “That’s nice.”
“But he got hurted and said a bad word.”
Alex had followed his son across the yard, and Shannon glanced at him, trying not to laugh at his chagrined expression. She guessed his injury was relatively minor since there wasn’t any visible blood and no bones were sticking out.
“He did?”
“Uh-huh. He said—”
“Jeremy,” Alex interrupted hastily, “I was wrong to say that in the first place, and it certainly isn’t something to repeat in front of a lady.”
The youngster quieted and clutched Mr. Tibbles even tighter, mumbling an apology, so Shannon smiled and ruffled his hair.
“That’s okay. I’m lucky, I have five brothers to help put up my Christmas lights.” Five brothers with the same sort of old-fashioned views about a “lady’s” delicate ears and sensibilities—all part of the O’Rourke Code they’d been taught by their father. The “Code” was sacred to the male members of the family, much to the frequent frustration of the female members.
“I wish I had a brother,” Jeremy said, sounding wistful.
Oh dear.
Wasn’t wishing he had a brother just one step away from talking about getting a new mommy? Presuming he understood the relationship between the two events.
“I also have three sisters,” Shannon said quickly. “Miranda, Kelly and Kathleen. Miranda and Kelly are twins.”
“Do they like dodgeball?”
Dodgeball? She searched through her memory and vaguely recalled kids standing in a circle, with others in the middle dodging a large red ball.
“Uh, they haven’t played for a while. They’re all grown up.”
Jeremy sighed. “I wanna play dodgeball, but the big kids say I’m too small.”
“That’s too bad, but they probably want to be sure you don’t get hurt accidentally.”
Alex