Which made her palms sweat, her tongue thick, and her feet antsy.
Which had led to her asking her superior to please avoid assigning her to Dr. Randolph’s patients. Nurse Rogers might have thought her request odd, but without too many questions and an empathetic look she’d said she would do her best. She couldn’t avoid doing so altogether, of course, but for the most part she had attempted to accommodate Beth’s request and the few times she’d had to, Beth had avoided him during rounds.
“What if he is single now?” Emily asked, not willing to let go of their subject. “What are you going to do about him?”
Beth grimaced. “I never should have told you that I find him attractive.”
“You more than find him attractive. I’ve known you since college, have seen you through your two major relationships, and knew you way before Barry messed up your head and your sense of style. I would have known.”
Ugh at the reminder of her ex. She couldn’t care less about Barry, but her stupidity still stung. She could point out that it wasn’t her head Barry had messed up. It had been her heart, but what was one organ compared to another? Either way, she’d gotten over the cheater the hard way.
“I see how you look at that man so it’s not as if you could hide how you feel from me,” Emily pointed out, her gaze raking over Eli as if sizing him up. “I could point out that you never lit up like this around the doofus who left you for his ex and that Barry wasn’t even fit to tie Eli’s dirty ole tennis shoes.”
No, she hadn’t lit up around Barry. Just as well as he’d done the un-decent thing of sleeping with his ex while still living with Beth. Men.
“My question is, are you going to act on that attraction? Tell him you think he’s hot?”
Emily’s question snapped Beth back to the present and she frowned at her friend.
“Don’t be ridiculous and quit staring at him,” she ordered, but was unable to stop herself from doing the same. What was it about Eli that got to her so? Besides the fact that he was brilliant, breathtaking, and had the most amazing smile of any man ever, that was. “I’ve worked with him for months, and I seriously doubt he even knows my name. Why would I make a fool of myself that way?”
Why indeed?
“Because if you don’t, some other smarter, braver woman will and then you’ll still be pining after him from afar while he becomes someone else’s boyfriend because you were too chicken to go after the man of your dreams.”
Ouch. Emily didn’t mince her words.
“From afar is good.” At least from afar she could still breathe. But Eli with another woman … okay, so that thought made every organ in her body twist up like a wrung dishrag. Still, it wasn’t as if she wasn’t used to him having a girlfriend. He had from the moment she’d met him and felt whatever that instant crazy fluttering in her chest had been. Not that he’d felt it. He hadn’t. Not that he’d noticed. He hadn’t. So why should the fact that he might no longer have a girlfriend matter? She obviously hadn’t made an impression.
Plus she’d had a relationship with a man who’d had a perfect ex and ultimately he’d gone back to the woman he’d invested so much time in. No thanks on a heartbreak repeat.
“From afar sucks,” Emily needlessly pointed out. “Admit it.”
Okay, she admitted it. To herself at any rate. Emily was right. From afar did suck. Not making an impression on a man you couldn’t quit thinking about sucked. Being told that dating you had made your ex realize his ex hadn’t really been that bad after all? That sucked a big one too.
“If you don’t at least let him know that you’re interested, I’ll know that you really are using him as a shield from jumping back into the dating world.”
“That’s not what I’m doing. The man is wonderful. You’ve admitted as much yourself.”
“True, so prove it.”
Prove it? What did her friend want her to do? March up and tell him she wanted to lick him from head to toe? That she thought about him way too much morning, noon, and night?
“Look.” Her stomach clenching into a tight knot, Beth gestured toward where Eli stood. He wasn’t alone. A gorgeous blonde bombshell with kind blue eyes and an almost always present smile had joined him. “Dr. Qualls is smiling at him like crazy.” And touching his arm quite possessively. Ugh. Not that Beth had any right to feel the green flowing through her veins.
She’d already resigned herself that Eli and Cassidy would marry and for the rest of her life she’d watch them from afar, wondering, What if? Emily was right. From afar did suck, but there were some things that were just wrong. Going after another woman’s man was one of them, especially when that woman was someone as nice as Dr. Qualls. At least she hadn’t liked Barry’s ex. Not that she’d known her well, but Cassidy Qualls seemed to be a class act inside and out. “I don’t think they’ve broken up.”
Eyeing the couple, Emily waved her fork. “Actually, I think your sexter was right. I think they have. Look.”
Beth forced her gaze back toward the couple. Dr. Qualls still stood there, but she was no longer smiling. A pensive, unsure expression on her lovely face, she was watching Eli walk away and sit down at a table. By himself.
Oh, wow. Could he possibly be single? She hadn’t dared dream it possible. Well, she had dared, but hadn’t believed that her weird texter could have been right.
“I think you should go and talk to him.”
What? The man’s girlfriend—ex-girlfriend?—was standing ten feet from him. His nice ex-girlfriend whom Beth admired and thought a great hospitalist and often thought that if she had to pick someone to be like, she’d pick Cassidy Qualls. The woman had it all. But had she perhaps lost the one thing Beth envied her?
“No way. What would I say?” She took a drink, her gaze darting back and forth between Eli and Cassidy, looking for a clue to the truth. They weren’t behaving normally, that was for sure. Probably a lovers’ spat that they’d soon recover from.
“Hello.” Emily mimicked Beth’s voice and mannerisms. “My name is Beth Taylor and I want to have your children.”
Water spewed from Beth’s mouth and she gasped at her best friend. “I do not!”
“Sure you do but, okay, let me try again,” Emily cleared her throat and started over, still doing a fairly decent impression of Beth’s voice. “My name is Beth Taylor. I’d like to rip your clothes off with my teeth and have you for breakfast, lunch, and dinner on a regular basis.” Emily fluttered her eyelashes. “Be forewarned, I’m a girl with a hearty appetite.”
True, but not words Beth could see spilling from her mouth during a conversation with him. Words in general had difficulty spilling from her mouth when she spoke to Eli, which was yet another reason why she avoided him.
She glanced toward where he sat alone at a rectangular table for six. He had on blue scrubs that were a little darker than the shade of his eyes. His slightly curly brown hair was rumpled, as if he’d run his fingers through it more often than usual today. Another doctor, a cardiologist, came over and must have asked if he could join him. Nodding, Eli smiled at the man and Beth’s heart thump-thump-thumped.
Crazy how something as simple as his smile caused her body to react so profoundly. She’d probably go into cardiac arrest and need the services of that cardiologist if Eli ever aimed one of those smiles directly at her. That would be her luck. He’d walk by, smile politely, and she’d fall over. Kaput. At least she’d die knowing that if he was that close he’d perform mouth to mouth and that would be the last thing she felt against