He grinned. “You’ll what? No, don’t answer that. The possibilities are too frightening to contemplate.” He walked to her and sat down beside her on the couch, then took her hand before she could try to get up. “It’s a real job, certainly a better one than what he’ll find around here. I thought you’d like to know he was working someplace safer. Hell, I could even get my friend to throw in a car with the job, to make sure he’s protected when driving.”
Angel was struck speechless. Between his touch and his words, she couldn’t seem to draw enough breath. Such generosity had never been a part of Derek, at least not a part she’d seen. “I don’t understand you.”
His thumb rubbed over her knuckles. She tried to tug her hand away, but he held firm. “I know you don’t, and I’m sorry about that. Sorry about a lot of things.” He gave her a sideways look, then sighed, the sound tinged with real regret. “I hesitate to make you angry, but—”
“Then don’t.”
“Here’s how it’s going to be, honey.” His tone was stern, his expression determined. “You’re going to keep everything I’ve just given you. And you’re going to use it, too. And enjoy it, I hope, but I suppose that’s up to you. I know you don’t like me or trust me right now, and that’s okay. I understand it. But I’m not just going to disappear or come visit once a month for fifteen minutes. And I’m not going to sit back and ignore you when I know you need things. I can help you, and you’re going to accept my help. God knows, you should have had it all along.”
Angel shook her hand free, then kept it held protectively away from him. A glint of amusement brightened his eyes. She felt swamped in confusion, uncertain what to do or say next. She’d never dealt with Derek in this mood, firm but concerned and caring. It was sort of…sweet. No, whoa on that thought. She would not be suckered in by him. Never again.
Glaring at him, she said, “Why don’t you just tell me now what you’re up to and save us both some time?”
“What I’m up to? Well, all right. Let’s see. I want to help you. I want you to trust me again—”
“Ha!”
“—and I want to be with you.” He said that last part with a small smile, and his fingertips grazed her chin. She ducked her face away. “I want to be a part of Grayson’s life and be a father to him. I want to show you that I can be responsible and honorable and that I’m not a total jerk. I want…a lot of things.”
She stared at him hard, unnerved. “You’re an alien, right? Derek was zapped into space and you were sent to replace him? That’s the only thing I’ll believe.”
He laughed, but his eyes looked sad. “Would you like that, if the real Derek was gone for good?”
None of this, most especially his somber tone, made any sense. Angel dropped her head against the back of the couch and sighed. “I never wished you any harm, Derek. Not even when I thought I hated you, when you suggested we’d both be better off without the baby. I just didn’t want to ever see you again.”
“But you invited me back into your life. I may be trying to take up more of that life than you’re comfortable with, but I won’t hurt you again. I promise.”
Without lifting her head from the couch, she turned her face toward him. In a soft whisper, she said, “Do you actually believe I’d ever trust you again?”
“Yes.” He said it without hesitation. His eyes were dark and sincere and intense, probing into her mind, trying to read her thoughts. “I can get you to trust me again.”
The mere possibility scared her half to death. She could never leave herself that vulnerable again; her baby’s well-being depended on her strength. “And then what? You’ll steal my baby away from me?” Her chest squeezed tight with the thought and she knew her voice shook. She couldn’t help it. She’d known the risks involved when she contacted him, but Mick was right. She couldn’t handle things on her own anymore. The threat was there and it was real and she was afraid, not so much for herself, but for Grayson. He relied on her, and she had to protect him. That’s what mattered most.
If it was Derek’s family behind the awful threats, as she suspected, he might well be the only person who could protect her.
Derek stood, giving her his back. His fists rested on his hips and he looked angry and frustrated and somehow heartsick. “I would never take him from you,” he said, the words low and raspy. “I’d swear it to you, but I realize my promises mean nothing—yet. All I want to do is help.”
“But you never wanted to help me before. You made it clear you wanted no part of me or the baby.”
She heard him swallow, then he turned to face her. He looked angry, and almost confused, a bit desperate. “I was an ass. An idiot and a bastard. I’m here now, Angel. Don’t shut me out.”
She really had little choice in the matter. It was difficult to say the words, but he seemed so different, not at all like the man she’d known. Her reactions, her feelings toward him, were different, too. He touched something inside her that the old Derek hadn’t gotten close to. She supposed anyone could change, and she knew how Grayson had affected her life, the impact he’d made on her.
As if reading her mind, he whispered, “Grayson hit me like a punch in the heart. A tiny little person, part of my blood.” His eyes narrowed. “You said it yourself. How holding him made you feel.”
“But I carried him and went through all the changes the pregnancy caused. I got sick in the mornings, stayed awake at night as he kicked, stayed tired all the time. I felt him grow and I saw him born. I saw him take his first breath, give his first cry.”
“You think I don’t regret missing all that?”
He sounded so sincere, but she just didn’t know. Unless he planned to take the baby from her, she could see no reason for an emotional deception. She searched his face, but it was a futile effort; whatever he felt was well hidden. Damn, she had so few choices in this. “All right.”
He let out a gust of air, ran a hand through his hair, rubbed his chin, then smiled. “Okay. Shew, I’m glad that’s settled.” He looked much relieved, his shoulders no longer so tense, his eyes no longer worried. “Okay. On to the next battle. I want to move you someplace else.”
Angel could only stare at him in disbelief. “You’re nuts. I give ground on one little thing and you want to take over!”
“Come on, honey, you can’t like living here.”
She wanted to shove his condescension back into his face until he choked on it. “I most certainly do like it,” she lied, knowing Mick to be the only redeeming factor of her present residence. “I’m close to the downtown businesses and I do transcription at home for a lot of the offices and the students. I make enough money to keep the rent paid and my health insurance active. It’s convenient and I enjoy the people and I’m not moving.”
He pursed his mouth and studied her, then must have decided not to push his luck. “I’ll let that go for now.”
“You’ll let it go forever!”
“Now, about therapy.” Angel rolled her eyes, which didn’t even slow him down. “I’ve known people with compound fractures. It can take months to heal with proper treatment, and you’ve not had that.”
“I have a very good doctor.”
“Who no doubt told you that you needed therapy.”
That was true, but it had been out of the question. Not only did she not have anyone to watch Grayson, but she had no way of getting back and forth each day to the therapist and her insurance would have only covered a small percentage of the bill. She shook her head at Derek, hopeless. “It’s been almost two months.