“They missed the point entirely.”
Emily felt his deep voice wash over her, and she smiled. “Yes, they did.”
“Okay. So what will nailing the guy who sold him the gun prove to your brother?”
“That I love him. That I know what’s right and wrong, and that he knows it, too, if he’ll only open his eyes and realize that he is a good person, that he doesn’t need affirmation from anyone but himself.”
“Is that what you learned, honey? Do you understand your brother so well, because you’ve gone through the same thing?”
Emily forced a laugh and tried to pull her hand free, but Judd wouldn’t let her go. He wouldn’t let her look away, either. His gaze held her as securely as his fingers held her hand. “I’ve never felt the need to purchase a gun, Judd.”
“No, but you must have wanted approval from your family as much as your brother does. What did you do, Emily, to get them to notice you?”
She cleared her throat and tried to change the subject. “This is ridiculous. It doesn’t have anything to do with our deal.”
“To hell with the deal. What did you do, Em?”
Panic began to edge through her. Not for anything would she lay the humiliation she’d suffered out for him to see. Besides, she’d buried the memory deep. It was no longer a part of her. At least, she hoped it wasn’t.
“I’ve made my fair share of mistakes,” she told him. “But I’ve forgiven myself and gotten on with my life. That’s all any of us can do.” Once she said that, she came to her feet, knowing she had to do something, occupy herself somehow, or she’d become maudlin. A display of emotions wouldn’t serve her purpose.
But as she stood, so did Judd, and before she could move away, he had her tugged close. The morning whiskers on his jaw felt slightly abrasive, and arousing, as he brushed against her cheek. The warmth of his palms seeped through her dress to her back where he carefully stroked her in a comforting, soothing manner. She could smell his musky, male scent, and breathed deeply, filling herself with him, uncaring what had brought on this show of concern. It simply felt too good to have him hold her.
“You should always remember, Em, what a good person you are. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.”
His raspy tone sounded close to her ear, sending gooseflesh up her arms. And her emotions must have been closer to the surface than she’d wanted to admit, because she could feel the sting of tears behind her lids.
Not wanting Judd to know how he affected her, she hid her face in his shoulder and tried a laugh. It sounded a little wobbly, but it was the best she could produce. “You hardly know me, Judd. What makes you think I’m such a fine specimen of humanity?”
He rocked her from side to side, and she could hear the smile in his voice when he spoke. “Are you kidding me? You’re obviously damn loyal since you’re willing to risk your pretty little neck for your brother, just to keep him on the right track. You’ve opened your property to the neighborhood kids, not caring that they might trample your flowers or muddy up your yard. And you told me you volunteer at the soup kitchen. I’ll bet you’ve got a whole group of charity organizations you donate to, don’t you?”
Emily squeezed herself closer, loving the solid feel of his chest against her cheek, the strength of his arms around her. She couldn’t recall ever feeling so safe. “I’m the one who benefits from the organizations. I’ve met so many really good, caring people, who just need a little help to get their lives straightened out. We talk, we laugh. Sometimes…I don’t know what I’d do without them.”
Judd groaned, and then his hand was beneath her chin, tilting her face up. Emily smiled, thinking he had a few more questions for her, when his mouth closed over hers and she couldn’t think at all.
Heat was her first impression. The added warmth seemed to be everything, touching her everywhere. She felt it in her toes as he lifted her to meet him better, to fit her more fully against him. She felt it in her breasts, pressed tight against his chest. And in her stomach, as the heat curled and expanded.
His mouth was firm, his tongue wet as he licked over her lips, insisting she open. When she did, he tasted her deeply, his hands coming up to hold her face still as he slanted his mouth over hers again and again.
Emily had never known such a kiss. She’d thought she’d experienced lust while she was engaged, but it had been nothing like this. She made a small sound of surprise, wanting the contact to go on forever—and suddenly Judd pulled away.
Emily grabbed the back of the chair to keep herself grounded. Judd stared at her, looking appalled and fascinated and…hungry. Oh, Lord, Emily, now you’ve really done it.
She should have felt guilty for behaving so improperly, but all her mind kept repeating was, Let’s do it again. She shook her head at herself, dismissing that errant notion and trying to remember her purpose. Judd must have misunderstood, because he turned away.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
Emily blinked several times. “I beg your pardon?”
Judd whirled to face her, once again furious. “I said, I’m sorry, dammit. I shouldn’t have done that. It won’t happen again.”
Oh, darn. “No, of course not. It was my fault. I shouldn’t have been telling you all my problems and—”
“Shut up, Emily.”
She did, and stared at him, waiting to see what he would do, what he wanted her to do.
“Damn.” He snatched her close again, pressed another hard, entirely too quick kiss to her lips, then set her away. “I take it back. It probably will happen again. Hopefully, not for a while, but…I’m not making any promises. If you don’t want me ever to touch you, just say so, all right?”
Emily remained perfectly still, unwilling to take a chance that he might misunderstand her response if she moved. She prided herself on the fact she wasn’t a hypocrite. No, she wanted Judd, and she was thrilled beyond reason that he apparently wanted her, too. And since he held rather obvious scorn for her background—that of money and privilege—he wouldn’t expect her to play the part of the proper lady. No, Judd had already made it clear where his preferences lay. Any man who could strip for a living was obviously on the earthy side, primal and lusty and…her heart skipped two beats while she waited to see what he’d do next.
He laughed. It wasn’t a humorous laugh, but one of wonder and disbelief. “You’re something else, Emily, you know that? Here, sit down.” He loosened her death grip on the chair back and nudged her toward the seat. “Don’t go away. I’m going to shower and finish getting dressed, then we’ll make some plans, okay?”
She sat. She nodded. She felt ready to explode with anticipation.
Judd ruffled her hair, still shaking his head, and left the room.
HE MADE CERTAIN it was a cold shower, but the temperature of the water didn’t help to cool the heat of his body. Never could he remember being hit so hard. Holding her felt right, talking to her felt right. Hell, kissing her had been as right as it could get—bordering on blissful death.
He could only imagine how it would feel to…no. He’d better not imagine or he’d find himself right back in the shower.
How could one woman be so damn sweet? He’d have thought all that money and her parents’ attitudes would have soured her, but it hadn’t. Emily loved. She loved her brother, she loved the children in her neighborhood. She even loved the homeless who visited the kitchen where she volunteered. He’d heard it in her tone, seen it in her eyes.