“We have to stay for another hour.” They could not leave any earlier than that—it was impossible. “The leather cuff is in my purse, which is in the cloakroom. I’m going to give it to you on our way out.” Her words were rushed, and she could barely believe she had spoken them even after they had left her mouth. Could hardly believe that she was committing to this.
But why not? Why not? Nothing she had ever done so far had been able to atone for the sins of her past. She had been good; she had been the best daughter she could possibly be. She had not caused any trouble, had dated no one but a prince in the ensuing years since her one very bad decision. And what had it got her? Nothing. At least, nothing for her. But here she was now on the cusp of her redemption, knowing that the return of London Diva would restore her to the proper place in her family. And knowing for sure that nothing else would.
She had let one man destroy her feelings about her body, her sex, her feelings. Had let him ruin her relationship with her father.
Then she had hidden every part of herself she’d decided was wrong and had sought to prove to her father that she had moved past her youthful mistakes, had sought to prove to herself that she was smarter, stronger.
But in the end her father didn’t care about that. He didn’t care whether or not she got the business back by striking a business deal, or by trading her body. He would never have cared if she had married a prince, or merchant. He would never forgive her, not really. He would never see her the way that he once had.
That was all very clear to her now.
No one cared but her. Everyone had moved on but her.
And with that strange feeling of sadness and freedom roaring through her, she knew her decision had been made. There was no future with Dmitri. But she was okay with that. She didn’t need a future with him; she just needed a future for herself. One that wasn’t for her father, one that wasn’t in response to Nathan.
She would start tonight. With this decision. With this step forward. Reclaiming something that she would have had long ago if she hadn’t allowed her mistake to define her.
“Be very certain,” he said.
“Do I strike you as someone who doesn’t know her mind, Dmitri?” she asked, raising a brow and keeping her tone arch.
“No.”
“I thought not.”
“And now we only have to wait an hour.”
Her stomach constricted, but it wasn’t nerves having their way with her right now. No, it was excitement. Lust. Lust that she was finally, for the first time, embracing.
“Yes,” she said, “an hour.”
THE HOUR DMITRI had to endure after Victoria made her shaky promise was interminable. In a fight, in the ring, time seemed to move both slower and faster. Minutes could stretch out into eternity and the final seconds end as though they had never existed. Nights spent in his family’s posh home when he’d been growing up had been unremarkable. The nights after his exile spent on the gritty streets had been another thing entirely.
Dmitri was accustomed to the relativity of time.
Still, he had never experienced it on quite this level before. Every moment of small talk would have been torture regardless of what had passed between Victoria and him, but this brought it to new heights. It was all but impossible to focus on what some celebrity in a monkey suit was saying, when in his mind he was already imagining what it would be like to take hold of the zipper on the red dress Victoria was wearing and draw it down, watch the rich fabric part to reveal lily-white skin beneath.
When he was already picturing what it would be like to slide into her tight wet heat, to be skin to skin with her, to feel her tremble beneath his touch. Yes, as torturous as small talk seemed on a good day, it was amplified in this moment.
He looked down at his watch, at the bare spot above it where the leather strap was usually tied. And he breathed a sigh of relief when the minute hand ticked over and the timer on this particular fight was up.
Now he had another one stretching before him. And this one, he had the feeling would go by much too quickly.
There was nothing he could offer Victoria beyond tonight, or perhaps beyond a physical relationship that would extend only until their business dealings were done.
Either way, the timer had started already.
He abruptly broke away from the man who was speaking to him, knowing that he appeared rude, and not giving a damn. He had one thing on his mind now, and that was Victoria. Victoria and her lovely body, Victoria and her lovely lips. Victoria and her crisp, crystal voice and the opportunity to shatter it yet again as he brought her to the peak of pleasure.
He made his way through the ballroom, over to where she stood. Her blond hair was captured in a low bun at the nape of her neck that had been left loose, some curls escaping and cascading down her back, which was revealed to perfection by the cut of the red gown she was wearing that exposed the elegant line of her spine. The high neck of the front provided the tease, which he was starting to believe Victoria was a master of. Revealing just enough, concealing even more.
In both her wardrobe and in her interactions.
An irresistible combination.
“Victoria,” he said, watching the color in her cheeks darken as he approached. “I believe, my love, it is time for us to go.” He looked at the group of people she was engaged in conversation with. “Unless, you find yourself more occupied here.”
“Of course not. What could I possibly find more engaging than spending an evening with you?” The way she spoke the words was flirtatious, calculated. Designed to add to the illusion of their relationship, designed to give them both an escape, and designed to leave the people she had been conversing with unoffended. “You understand, don’t you?” She asked the question with a hint of cheekiness that left no doubt in anyone’s mind as to why they were escaping.
Following her lead, he winked and said something in Russian, something bland that had more to do with the weather than with seduction, but the people in Victoria’s group had no clue. They smiled, and the women exchanged looks, the kind that let him know if he wanted to pursue them at some point, they would be open to it.
Too bad for them he only had eyes for Victoria.
He wrapped his arm around Victoria’s waist and pulled her close to him. “We can’t forget to make a stop at the cloakroom first.”
“No, indeed.” She offered a wave to those standing near them and then curled herself into his side, her body much more tense than it undoubtedly appeared to the onlookers.
“You are not having second thoughts, are you?” he asked.
“Why would you ask that?”
“Because right now you are holding yourself with all of the tension of a woman going to the gallows, not to bed with a lover.”
“You have to bear with me. I’m not very experienced.”
That made his stomach tighten, guilt gnawing in him. Of course she wouldn’t be very experienced. She had been badly burned by her first lover. She would have been very cautious in every situation since then. And he could hardly blame her. Likely, she was a woman who had relationships, and none of these no-strings sexual encounters. All of it cut a bit too close to the bone for him. Because he was jaded, he could admit. He was the sort of man who had encounters like this all the time. With women who were accustomed to having them.
They cost him nothing; it cost his lovers nothing. Not a moment’s worth of worry even. It made him feel guilty to know that she was worried now, but not enough that he would turn back. Because, while he still had a conscience left to burn,