Willa inched closer to him, her hand going from his face to his hair. “I’ve been acting, too, Lucas. But tonight…it’s as if all the shams and facades have broken away. Somehow, I know I’m going to find the strength to do what I have to do.”
He tugged her close, needing this intimacy, needing to understand all the turmoil she seemed to be holding so tightly inside. “And what is it that you have to do, chère?”
She took a deep breath. Then she held her head away so she could look into his eyes. Lucas saw the bright light shining in her face, but he also saw a tremendous fear. A trepidation.
“Tell me,” he urged, his hands on her back. “Tell me.”
She gave a slight nod, then started talking. “Last week, during a routine self-examination, I found a small lump on my right breast.” In a calm, steady voice, she told him, “Lucas, I…I might have breast cancer.”
He had to suck in a breath. The words rang inside his head like a death toll. Breast cancer. Breast cancer. Then the anger set in. The old, easy anger that he’d held on to for so long. The anger toward God, the creator, and God, the taker of life.
“No,” he said, simply and deeply. “No. That can’t be. I won’t let it be.”
Willa ran a hand through his hair, touched her fingers to his neck. “I have to go to the doctor,” she said, as if trying to comfort him. “I have to make sure.”
The urgency of her situation tore through him. “You didn’t do that already? Why haven’t you done that already?”
She looked down. “My doctor in New York did a physical exam, then scheduled a mammogram. The mammogram showed a small lump about the size of a pea.”
Lucas held up a hand to interrupt her. “Then what on earth are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in the hospital, getting some sort of treatments?”
She dropped her hands to her sides. “My doctor wanted to do a biopsy right away, but he told me I had several options. He gave me lots of pamphlets to read, suggested some books on the subject, even said I could take a few days to get a second opinion. So that’s why I’m here. I just needed some time…to think about what this might mean.”
Anger and dread made Lucas irrational. “I can tell you exactly what it might mean, if you don’t hurry.”
“You don’t have to tell me that,” she said, pulling out of his arms to turn away. “Believe me, it’s all I’ve been thinking about, night and day. But my doctor did tell me that if it is cancer, we have a few weeks to get everything in order…if I have to have surgery.” With her back to him, she continued. “You have to understand, I’m not one to rush into anything. I need time to think, to decide about my future. That’s why I came down here. So I could get away from all the distractions and just rest and think. Then when those two photographers showed up, I thought they’d found out. I was afraid I’d have to go back to New York, after all. And that would mean further delays.”
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