‘Would you do that?’ My reclusive old Grumps was constantly surprising me lately!
‘I don’t see why not. Many of the society are also Friends of Winter’s End and work there in full costume as volunteers throughout the open season, but I would not, of course, have time for that, for I will be fully occupied with my own work and with the museum.’
I could tell he was now quite fancying himself in the role!
I still felt furious that Raffy should have burst back into my life just as it had begun to settle down into a pleasant pattern, and that feeling didn’t seem to be wearing off at all. In fact, every time I caught sight of him my heart gave a sudden jolt and then started thumping away at twice its normal rate, which couldn’t be good for me.
It must have puzzled Poppy and Felix (and presumably Raffy too), that a boy-and-girl affair that ended so long ago should still make me act this way, but I couldn’t explain it to them. And while I could force myself to say I forgave Raffy, that wasn’t going to extinguish the bitter, lonely flame that was burning in my heart for what was lost, was it?
I was sure Raffy was trying to keep out of my way, just as I was trying to keep out of his, but of course that was impossible in a small place like Sticklepond. He buzzed around in his little un-rock-god Mercedes hatchback, presumably going to church-related meetings and making calls. He buried, christened and said prayers but so far, hadn’t married (no takers till spring had sprung), and he walked his little dog past my cottage very early every morning, without fail. I knew this, because I watched him from behind the shop window curtain. It still seemed strange to me to see the white gleam of the clerical collar at his throat, even if it was just printed onto a black T-shirt: it was a symbol of what he had now become, however improbable…
According to Poppy, Raffy was still determinedly carrying on with his scheme of visiting all the houses in the parish, which could prove to be his life’s work once he reached the scattered outskirts and set out into the countryside.
He and Felix really had struck up an unlikely friendship, too. I’d found Raffy in Marked Pages more than once myself, although he’d always hurried out as I went in.
He was paying contractors to clear the worst jungly bits of the vicarage gardens, I’d also seen him out there, hacking down overgrown shrubs side by side with them.
Anyway, he was suddenly ubiquitous…or do I mean omnipresent? No, I suppose that’s God. Anyway, Raffy was everywhere and a huge, huge success – with the female parishioners in particular. They may have been dubious initially, but they couldn’t resist that smile, it had been the downfall of many and I should know.
And evidently it was a well-known fact that a single vicar, in possession of a modest fortune, must be in need of a wife.
‘Raffy visited Grumps again the other day,’ I told Poppy, though I didn’t mention that he’d looked my way as he passed the shop window while I was working, and this time given me a tentative wave. ‘They seem to enjoy the verbal sparring, and even Zillah’s warmed to him, since the cards told her he’s got a vital role to play in what is to come.’
‘He’s bound to play a part in everything, now he’s the vicar, isn’t he?’ she pointed out.
‘She just meant the Mann-Drake situation, I think, though she might have interpreted the meaning wrongly.’ I heaved a sigh. ‘Even simply knowing Raffy was in the area would have been difficult enough, without seeing him all over the place. I suppose I ought to have started to get used to it by now, but I haven’t.’
‘Oh, I don’t know, I’ve been thinking it over and I’m sure the way you feel now isn’t just to do with him, it’s about lots of unresolved issues,’ she said, suddenly surprising me with an insightful comment, as she sometimes does.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, you lost your first love, you were jilted by your second and your mother abandoned you, to all intents and purposes.’
‘Yes, but she wasn’t much of a mother to start off with.’
‘Maybe not, but you’re bound to have resented the fact, because it meant you had to stay home and look after Jake – so then you weren’t there when Raffy went back to find you.’
‘Actually, I expect Jake would have survived with Zillah and Grumps if I had gone back to university.’
‘Survived, but not turned out so well, even if you could have brought yourself to leave him. And I’m sure he’d have gone off the rails at some point if you’d abandoned him like his mother did.’
‘Perhaps,’ I admitted. ‘He’s turned out quite well, hasn’t he?’
‘He’s a lovely boy,’ she said warmly. ‘By the way, have you heard anything from Chas about that DNA test?’
‘Only an email saying he’ll be calling in soon when he’s up in the north on business, so he can’t have got the result yet. It’ll be odd seeing him and not knowing…’ I sighed. ‘It’s just another damn issue to resolve, isn’t it? But I really do hope Chas is my father, because at least he cares a little for me and I’m fond of him.’
‘I think if you could find out the truth about who your father was and come to terms with that, manage to forgive your mother for being so useless and then, finally, forgive Raffy for letting you down all those years ago, then you’d probably feel like a whole, fresh new person!’
‘That’s a bit of a tall order! I think I’d have to be a different person,’ I said with a wry smile, not mentioning that the Angel cards were in at least partial agreement with her, since they kept coming up with the unambiguous message that I should forgive Raffy. I couldn’t read it any other way.
‘You could do it,’ she said encouragingly, ‘and then perhaps we could both look for nice men, before they’re all gone. There must be two left on the shelf still, don’t you think?’
‘Of course there are – like Felix,’ I suggested sneakily.
‘Well…yes, I suppose so, because he’s single and there’s nothing wrong with him, is there?’
‘Absolutely not. But I don’t want a man. I’ve had enough of them. Or children either, because Jake was enough. No, I love my little groove of pub, chocolate, friends and a lovely garden to play with.’
Seeing her face fall I added quickly, ‘But we could go further afield occasionally, or even join something, so we would meet new people?’
‘They do have afternoon and evening classes at the village hall,’ she suggested doubtfully, ‘but they seem to be things like napkin folding and paper flower making.’
‘I don’t think either of us has quite reached those levels of desperation yet, have we?’ I asked.
Zillah, having decided that we needed Raffy, took the matter of reconciliation into her own hands.
The following day she knocked on the inner door that led to the museum, stuck her head in and announced loudly, ‘Gentleman caller!’
Then she pushed Raffy into the room and shut the door firmly behind him.
‘Sorry to disturb you,’ he said, looking at once startled and entirely unsure of his welcome, as well he might. ‘I can see you’re busy and I didn’t mean to come