She’d pretended he was there with her, sharing the pizza and was telling her about himself. He’d told her he wanted to study architecture because he was passionate about sculpture and that he worked out because it took his mind off everything.
And worse, she’d started talking to herself in reply to the imaginary questions!
Though she knew her conversation with him was an alcohol induced fantasy, she hoped to find some truth in it so she tried tearing through the pool doing as many laps as possible. It was helping a little. The burn in her muscles and the rolling feeling in her stomach were stealing most of her concentration.
‘You know, Ciara if you hadn’t stuffed yourself with pizza last night you wouldn’t need to make that horrible splashing sound just now,’ Gem said.
‘It is a bit too loud for my fuzzy head,’ Elle agreed.
When she reached the end of the pool, she climbed out. Giving up was much better than being moaned at and they weren’t the only ones who felt a bit light headed. ‘I’m bored waiting for you two to decide it’s time to hit the beach, that’s all.’
‘Holidays are meant for relaxing, not always being on the go. We’ll have lots of time for partying tonight,’ Elle said.
That’s not what she’d meant. They were in Miami, somewhere she’d never been and probably never would again. She wanted to explore every inch of the city, not just the shops, bars and clubs. All this sitting around was going to drive her even more insane.
Her expression must show how unimpressed she was by partying because Gem said, ‘Grab a magazine and get some sun, Ciara. We’ll leave soon, promise.’
She gave in, crossing to one of the sun loungers in the shade and lay face down, leaving the magazines on the table. If they were planning a party tonight she really should get some sleep first.
***
It took an hour for Elle and Gem to find the perfect spot and unpack. They were now lying on loungers close enough to the sea to catch the breeze but not too far from the refreshment stands so they wouldn’t have far to hike for an iced tea. Elle had flirted with a guy so he would move the loungers away from the masses of tourists for them.
Then they unpacked the sun lotions, the mini fold up table so nothing got all sandy and a few windbreakers for privacy more than protection from the wind. Ciara didn’t care about any of that stuff, not with a view like the one they had. The ocean was beautifully blue and so clear she could see the golden sand beneath. People were windsurfing and there were even speedboats and jet skis cruising across the expanse of the water.
She wondered how much it would cost to have a go, but then what fun would it be by herself? Elle and Gem were settled back and ready for a serious bronzing session. She slipped off her flip flops. There was no way she was coming all the way here and not having at least a paddle in the ocean. Unlike Gem and Elle, she wasn’t worried about her bikini being wrecked in the salt water – it had only cost a twentieth of the price of theirs.
‘I’m going for a dip,’ she said.
Gem rolled her eyes. ‘Just watching you is all the exercise I need.’
‘I like to keep busy,’ she said.
Elle laughed. ‘What are you going to do now you don’t have all that studying? Even in Brighton over Easter you didn’t relax one bit. All you did was cram and cram and cram. It’s good to clear your mind and chill out sometimes.’
‘Until we got arrested,’ Gem corrected.
Ciara shook her head. She’d never even had a telling off from her teachers until she’d met Gem and Elle. Now she had a trip to jail on her record, both sides of the Atlantic.
Ciara headed straight for the ocean.
‘I’ll have lots of time to chill out when I’m old,’ she said over her shoulder, not willing to share that keeping busy was her way of avoiding thinking too much about what she would do when this holiday was over.
She was exactly like her ma. She got bored too easily and couldn’t imagine a career that would hold her attention. Maths and statistics had been a challenge and she liked it because almost everything could be calculated or worked out by formulas.
People were different, beyond the chemistry that made them up. There were all different emotions and behaviours she couldn’t understand – her ma leaving was at the top of the list. Because even though she had her mother’s attention span, she couldn’t bring herself to leave her da alone forever. She’d go back to Ireland and keep close because he was all she had and he’d never given up on her. He’d worked himself half to death to send her to university, and she owed him more than she could ever repay.
But the rest of it – the job, a potential husband and kids? She couldn’t be sure she wouldn’t leave them someday. She hadn’t spoken to her mum since and so she’d never know what triggered the behaviour – in Ciara’s mind it just wouldn’t be fair to lead someone along for years, start a life with them and then just walk away without a word. Like mother like daughter.
It wasn’t something she’d want to do, but without knowing the catalyst for her mother’s decision, how could she be sure?
As she reached the water with her mood lower than it had been in a while, Ciara pushed the thoughts away and decided a walk along the edge of the sea would take her mind off everything. After all, Miami really was beautiful. It would be a shame to not see as much as she could.
***
An hour later she returned with achy legs and Gem made a trip to the refreshment stands to get them all iced drinks. She sipped at her iced tea, wishing Gem had fulfilled her request of a ‘sweet’ one but she was too thirsty to care.
Elle perked up when a trio of guys started throwing what looked like a brown rugby ball not far from them.
‘There’s a good place to start rebounding, Gem,’ Elle said.
Gem slipped her sunglasses down her nose. ‘You’re not wrong. I don’t usually go for blonds but with those muscles I could make an exception.’
Ciara could definitely appreciate the muscles as they kept throwing the ball, harder each time until they got closer.
‘And look, poor things are trying to be subtle about picking us up,’ Elle grinned. ‘Should we show them how it’s done, girls?’
‘I’m in,’ Gem said, jumping up. ‘What angle are we working?’
‘Hmm, English girls wanting to learn the American way to play rugby.’ Elle suggested.
Ciara laughed. ‘American football is brutal, Elle. I don’t think it will be your thing.’
‘We’re not actually going to play. But I wouldn’t mind one of them holding me from behind and showing me how to throw the thing.’
‘Me either,’ Gem added.
‘So what you’re really saying is you’re using the excuse of throwing a ball for foreplay?’ Ciara asked, still stumped that after all these years she had a lot to learn when it came to this stuff. She’d dated a little and hooked up with guys at uni but they’d been more about relieving exam stress than anything serious. And it hadn’t taken much to stumble across a man willing to have sex with her. The only thing was they’d never understood why she didn’t want more than that. Elle and Gem never had that hassle as far as she knew.
‘Exactly,’ Elle said, then ditched her Ray Bans on the table. ‘Come on!’
Brandon, Matt and Rye were very helpful when it came to teaching them how to throw a ball, but her coach was a little too touchy feely for her liking. After all, they’d only just bloody met!
‘And you stand like this,’ Matt said, pulling her hips back into