When they weren’t cooped up in their room, Nathan and Danny liked to go out on their bikes, so when Becky was old enough to keep up, the whole family often went for long rides on the Bristol and Bath Railway Path, which is specially for walkers and cyclists. Although Nathan wasn’t into team sports, he was interested in shooting and archery. I had a couple of air rifles and an archery kit, and the two of us used to spend hours in the back garden together, messing about with them. We challenged each other to hit various targets and competed to get the best score. When he was thirteen I bought him his very own air rifle for his birthday, and I’ve never seen him so happy. He wanted to go out and shoot with it immediately, and soon grew to be pretty good at it.
Much like Becky, Nathan was a bit of a loner at school. Despite being quite a confident kid, he didn’t make friends easily, so when he was fourteen I enlisted him in the Army cadets. I had done this myself at his age and thoroughly enjoyed it. It taught me a lot of self-discipline and gave me a sense of pride, and I thought it would do the same for Nathan. Of course, he already had an interest in guns, so he was thrilled when I suggested the idea. I think he was hoping he would make some friends there too – which he did. Being in the cadets gave Nathan a good sense of being a part of the community, as they were always out and about fundraising and doing charity work, such as packing bags for customers in supermarkets.
After a few months he got the opportunity to go away to camp with the squadron on Salisbury Plain, a military training ground. He was thrilled and couldn’t wait to go, so I agreed to give him a lift there.
‘Thanks for the lift. See you soon, Dar,’ he said, jumping out of the car with his heavy rucksack on his back.
I chuckled as I waved him off because I knew from experience what he would have to endure in the week ahead. He had 5.30 a.m. starts, 10-mile treks and lots of drill-training to look forward to. But I also knew that he would have a great time with his new friends; it would do him a world of good.
When I picked him up at the end of the week, he looked absolutely knackered. He slumped into the passenger seat of the car, unable to raise the energy to speak.
‘You look wiped out, son,’ I commented. He simply nodded in reply, and went straight to bed when we got in. After a few days of recovery, he was full of beans again, and I overheard him telling Danny how much he had enjoyed it.
‘It was amazing,’ he said, as they sat on his bed. ‘We got to shoot with real guns and everything.’
‘Wow!’ Danny said, hanging on his every word. Danny really looked up to his older brother, and I felt a little surge of pride that Nathan had enjoyed doing something I had loved when I was a kid. He stayed in the cadets for three years and then joined the Reserves for another two years after that.
At school, Nathan was quite average, never academically brilliant. He was probably best known among his fellow pupils for his wheeling and dealing – buying computer games and sweets and selling them on at a profit. When he was coming to the end of his time at his secondary school, The Grange in Warmley, his grades started to slip. Anjie and I grew concerned about his GCSEs, so we paid for a private tutor for six weeks to give him some extra help. It worked – Nathan’s marks improved dramatically and he managed to pass six of his exams.
As a reward for the turnaround in his grades, the school gave him three tickets to watch a Bristol Rovers match. As a family we weren’t really into football, but Nathan, Danny and I went to watch the game together and, surprisingly, we had a blast.
‘Now look, boys,’ I said as we stood in the family section of the stadium waiting for the game to begin. ‘That man over there is the referee and he will constantly make the wrong decision. We don’t like him.’
‘No, we don’t,’ Nathan agreed.
The three of us spent the whole game shouting colourful abuse at the referee. It was hilarious but, looking back, it’s a complete wonder that we didn’t get thrown out.
During the months leading up to Nathan’s sixteenth birthday, he nagged Anjie and me for a moped, so finally we agreed to pay for him to do his compulsory basic training (CBT). Beforehand, I took him to buy some leathers and a helmet. I had owned multiple motorbikes in my lifetime, and was keen to impress on him that safety comes first.
‘You will get a bike one day,’ I told him as he tried it all on. ‘But let’s start with the protective kit, shall we?’
On his birthday I drove him to take his training and his CBT test. It was a viciously cold day in January, and as I dropped him off I wished him luck. While he was doing it, I waited in the car. It took hours and hours, but I didn’t want to drive home just in case he needed me.
At last, he appeared and started to walk towards my car looking really ill. He was pale as a sheet and I could tell he was frozen to the bone. The intense training followed by the test had completely exhausted him.
I held my breath as he got into the car sighing. I was worried that he hadn’t got through it but he turned to me with a huge grin on his face.
‘I passed!’ he shouted, and I punched the air in delight.
‘Well done, son!’ I said. ‘Yes! Now let’s get you home to warm up. You look like you’ve got hypothermia.’
The pride I felt at that moment was so immense, it couldn’t have been any greater if he was my biological son. I was just delighted for him. As a surprise, I had secretly spent around £2,000 on a moped, which was waiting for him at home. I quickly phoned Anjie and told her the good news. She knew that her job was to wheel the bike out of the shed and into the garden for Nathan to see when we got back. It was all wrapped up and ready, in the hope that he would pass that day.
When we jumped out of the car, Anjie and I grinned at each other, waiting for Nathan to see his bike. To our disappointment, he walked straight past it.
‘Hot cup of tea please, Mum,’ he muttered to Anjie. He didn’t even look at the moped.
‘Here’s your bike, Nath,’ I called. ‘It’s all legal. You’re free to ride it now if you want.’
He turned and looked at the moped for a few moments before answering. ‘Nah, I’ll go out on it tomorrow. Thanks Dar, thanks Mum.’
The poor sod was too frozen to think about anything other than getting warm again. I didn’t blame him, to be honest. Once indoors, he sat in front of the gas fire for the rest of the evening, trying to get the feeling back in his hands and feet.
The next day, however, he woke up and immediately got dressed in his leathers, ready to jump on his new moped. He asked Anjie to take pictures of him posing next to it, and he was beaming as he zipped off down the road. He looked so happy and confident. I felt really proud of him that day, and I could tell Angie did too.
After that, Nathan rode his bike all over Bristol, and he made some new friends as he met other moped owners. I used to laugh as I saw them all riding past the house together, as if they were in a pack.
When he left school, Nathan trained as an electrician at City of Bristol College, and owning the moped helped him to get an evening job as a delivery boy for Domino’s Pizza. He also worked at Sainsbury’s on weekends. At that point, he was showing all the qualities I had wanted so much to give him. He was hardworking, dedicated, and he was earning his own money.
‘He’s like a mini-me,’ I bragged to Anjie as we watched him ride off to work one day. She couldn’t have been prouder of her son, and I was chuffed to bits with the man he was becoming.
A few months later, Anjie called me in a blind panic while I was at work. She was such a blubbering mess that