The Law of Attraction: the perfect laugh-out-loud read for autumn 2018. Roxie Cooper

      This is going to be sweet.

      ‘Oh, they asked me to assist with some legal research for that murder they’re defending. I’ve been in there all afternoon. They probably didn’t want to bother you with it. It’s very complex stuff.’

      ‘Well, I’m sure they would have asked me, had I been here.’ Even he knows this isn’t true.

      ‘I think they wanted someone who would actually do the work, Martin. Not someone who would bullshit their way through the conference and tell jokes.’

      ‘Well, I’m sure if you undo a few buttons of your shirt you’ll leave a lasting impression, Mandy.’

      ‘No need, Martin. My work will do that.’

      ‘Well, it’s pretty obvious why Ryder wanted you in there. Sounds like there’s already discrimination in action here. Might go and have a little word with de Souza…’

      ‘Oh my God, are you serious? Do you have any idea how stupid you’ll look if you do that? Actually, with that in mind… go ahead, I’m all for it.’

      ‘You think you’ve got this tenancy in the bag, don’t you? Swishing around, leading all the guys on…’

      ‘I’ve never led anyone on, Martin’

      ‘Apart from me…’

      I’m actually staggered by his arrogance.

      ‘If, by leading you on, you mean being forced to matriculate in the same room as you, then… yeeessss, I suppose I did. But that’s about it,’ I say, sarcastically. ‘Everything else outside the classroom was pure contempt for you. Hope that clarifies the situation.’

      As usual, he has no witty comeback so I leave him fuming. Feels good to have one up on him for once.

      The conference lasts until 5.45 p.m. when the other lawyers call it a day. De Souza, as predicted by Skylar, asks everyone if they’re going for a drink… including me.

      Even though I have Skylar’s words ringing in my ears, and knowing I have to be back at Chambers at 7.30 a.m. tomorrow, I say I’ll go for one. I can’t let an opportunity like this slip – especially given how rubbish I felt after finding out I wasn’t even invited to Rafferty’s party. And my decision to go is in no way influenced by the fact it means it will give me an opportunity to speak to Sid outside of work.

      No sireee.

      It’s a Tuesday night so the pub we go to is practically empty. De Souza buys everyone’s drinks. I’m with five men so I don’t have to put on an act – bottled beer it is, and yes, I’m drinking it from the bottle.

      Weirdly, despite the fact I’m with my Head of Chambers and some of the most senior lawyers in town, I don’t feel intimidated at all. We’re in a proper old pub, which is more like the surroundings I grew up in. They’re all very friendly, talking among themselves but being very polite and including me in the conversation where they can.

      Sid comes to sit next to me and I smile, trying not to look like I’m about to have an orgasm.

      We have general chit-chat about this and that, even touching upon the pupillage interview process. Sid volunteers that Marty’s dad is very close friends with the hateful Dolus, so I’m guessing nepotism is still very much a thing and that this was his way into Chambers.

      It’s not long before Sid moves on to my incident with Clarinda.

      ‘So, I hear you’ve made quite the impression with the women of the Bar?’

      I laugh, and don’t need to ask what he’s referring to.

      ‘Ah, yep. So you heard about the incident with your ex-girlfriend?’

      ‘Oh yes. She’s made sure everyone knows about it. Embellished it, of course. Well, she had to. Nobody outsmarts Clarinda O’Leary and comes out of it well,’ he laughs. When Sid laughs or smiles, his eyes crinkle up and you kind of want to drown in them.

      ‘She truly is… charming. I’m sure she must have had some redeeming qualities for you to go out with her,’ I offer, hoping he detects the sarcasm in my voice.

      ‘It was complicated,’ he laughs. ‘She held herself out to be something she wasn’t. Men are ultimately stupid and fall for these female tactics.’

      ‘Yes, why is that?’ I ask in an overexaggerated way.

      ‘We don’t think with our brains a lot of the time,’ he says, a bit too honestly.

      ‘Well, from what I’ve heard about you in particular, you definitely don’t.’

      Oh, way to go, Amanda. Insult the guy you fancy – you truly are the Queen of Seduction.

      ‘Really? What have you heard about me?’ He’s suddenly gone serious.

      ‘That you’re a player, ladies man, womaniser… need I go on?’

      ‘Well, you really shouldn’t believe everything you hear. Rumours are used like weapons at the Bar. Don’t forget that. I’m actually a nice guy if you get to know me.’

      ‘Oh really? Well, that’s one I’ve never heard before.’

      Sid looks at me for a few seconds. It’s like I can see the cogs cranking in his head, trying to work me out.