We all know food can make us feel good, providing a great source of psychological fulfilment. From infancy, we are taught that love and food are intertwined. A baby cries – we feed it to calm it down; a child does well and is rewarded with a food treat; and of course seduction and food have been entwined since Creation – just think of Adam and Eve! In later life we have a whole catalogue of food memories associated with holidays, celebrations and happy times, so it’s really no wonder that we equate food with positive feelings. When emotionally stressed, some people strive to recapture those happy feelings by comforting themselves with food. It has recently been shown that we are more likely to engage in emotional eating if our basic human needs – such as security, love and belonging – are unfulfilled. Prolonged periods of depression and anxiety also tend to cause emotional eating, leading to cravings for sweet and fatty foods.

      Many parents and grandparents mistakenly use food as a reward for positive behaviour: ‘If you are a good girl or boy today you will get a treat.’ This strategy may create a lasting unconscious desire to reward oneself with sweet, high-calorie foods when under emotional stress. This may develop into unhealthy eating habits, so that being overweight becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Aim to reward younger members of the family with non-food treats, such as a trip to a park, a treasure hunt or a physical activity. This will have a much more positive impact on their health.

      Why People Eat Emotionally

      In my experience with both female and male clients, people often find themselves trapped in a cycle of stress-eat-stress, feeling helpless to change. Significant weight gain can occur as a result. There may be unconscious reasons for this behaviour. You may want to prevent other people getting too close, and feel that a layer of fat on the body may protect you. Or it can represent an attitude of needing to let go and be out of control when all other aspects of your life have to be neat and in order.

      Case Study

      A male client, a city high-flyer, had a major problem with emotional eating late in the evening. After working with him for a month it became clear that the nature of his professional position meant he had to be in control and on top of his game 110 per cent of the time. There was no room for a slip-up. This was big business with big rewards. The client was exceedingly good at his job, but it came at a price to his health – 5 stone of excess weight gain. Although he ate healthily, and in moderation at work, it was all part of his professional approach. When he came home it was almost as if some element of being out of control was needed as light relief from the constant responsibility and challenges. Ice cream was the answer, and his excessive eating of it represented a rebellious act against all the constraints in his day-to-day life. After discussing this, we established a physical activity plan that introduced an element of stress management, as well as letting him create a little slack in other areas of his life, so that the ice cream eating was not his only outlet to let off steam and take his foot off the throttle.

      Emotional stress is real, and it doesn’t go away quickly or simply. However, recognizing it is the first step to taking action. If you feel you are susceptible to emotional stress, try completing the following questionnaire. Often, it can be easier to express sensitive issues on paper rather than in a face-to-face discussion. You may find that the very act of completing the questionnaire provokes thought and introspection, creating an awareness of the role stress is playing in your life.

      Emotional Stress Questionnaire

      Using the scale below, rate the following items/events according to how frequently they cause you emotional stress in the form of sadness, anxiety, fear, anger, depression, worry or guilt:

      1 – Never

      2 – Occasionally (a few times a month or less)

      3 – Sometimes (one to three times a week)

      4 – Often (three or more times a week)

      5 – Always (daily or more)

      

      

Job-related issues (unhappy with/change in/losing job) 1 2 3 4 5

      

Children (leaving/returning home, marital difficulties) 1 2 3 4 5

      

Relationship issues with loved ones 1 2 3 4 5

      

Separation or divorce 1 2 3 4 5

      

A new relationship 1 2 3 4 5

      

Loneliness 1 2 3 4 5

      

Concerns about personal health 1 2 3 4 5

      

Illness or death of a parent, close relative or friend 1 2 3 4 5

      

Thoughts about retirement 1 2 3 4 5

      

Worrying about finances 1 2 3 4 5

      

Food and eating 1 2 3 4 5

      

Your physical appearance/body weight 1 2 3 4 5

      

Your physical activity levels 1 2 3 4 5

      

Moving home 1 2 3 4 5

      

Feelings of general unhappiness 1 2 3 4 5

      

Other _______________________________ 1 2 3 4 5

       Answer the following questions:

      

Have you experienced any recent or sudden weight gain? YES/NO

      

Do you have frequent, general feelings of sadness, anxiety, loneliness, despair, resentment, anger, guilt, shame, boredom or fear? YES/NO

      

Have these feelings interfered with your normal daily functioning, including lifestyle habits such as healthy eating, regular exercise, not smoking, drinking alcohol only in moderation? YES/NO

      

Do you reach for food when feeling emotionally stressed? YES/NO

      

If yes, what sort of food do you usually reach for? ________________

      

Do you feel better after eating these foods? YES/NO

      

Are