I can’t do it by myself. It’s not something I can do alone, and I don’t really want to be alone at the end. Now all I have to do is persuade someone to help me do it.
SugarShuli has come on MSN just now. She must be having a day off again. Like me, she doesn’t see much point in going to school but her reasons are different to mine. Her parents are bringing a boy over from Pakistan for her and she’s supposed to marry him just as soon as she’s legally allowed.
SugarShuli says: I’m off sick. How are you?
ShelleyPixie says: Okay. What’s up?
SugarShuli says: Nothing really. Just didn’t see much point in going in. What are you doing?
ShelleyPixie says: Right now, talking to you. I’m waiting for Krok to come online so if I go quiet…
SugarShuli says: Krok your bf?
ShelleyPixie says: Sort of. Online thing.
I haven’t actually met Krok of course, not in the flesh, but he’s sent me a picture of him and his mates when they were doing a gig in a pub in Hammersmith. Krok plays the bass but what he really wants to do is produce music. When he grows up, he says. He’s nineteen now, so I’m not sure when that will be.
Krok has got this dream: he’s going to set up his own recording studios one day and bring on a load of new young bands playing real music—real musicians, he says, not just pretty people prancing and miming. He says most real musicians are ugly. He isn’t. He has longish hair and the deepest blue eyes. Irish eyes, he tells me. He’s got a cheeky smile.
SugarShuli says: You two going to meet?
She means him, I suppose. Are we going to meet? I wish, I only wish I could. Don’t know how it would happen, though. I also worry that he might be put right off me if we ever did. It’s better this way. On the other hand, Daniel might be right with his list of resolutions. We don’t get forever. And I’m getting a lot less of forever than most people count on. I keep thinking that if there are things I want to do then I’d better get on and do them.
ShelleyPixie says: Yep. Sometime soon. I’m going to meet him.
SugarShuli says: I’ll be meeting Jallal soon too.
Surinda—that’s her real name—takes all this marrying Jallal business in her stride. She doesn’t seem to mind. It’s all part of her expectations, she tells me. She says it’s much harder for those people who have to go out and find someone and decide who to marry all for themselves. Hmm…
ShelleyPixie says: Good looking?
SugarShuli says: I haven’t seen a picture yet. He comes from a good family and I am assured they have money. That’s what counts, isn’t it?
ShelleyPixie says: Christ.
SugarShuli says: You know how it is.
Hang on a minute, I think Krok has just logged on so she’ll have to shut up for a bit. Krok is more important. I haven’t spoken to him since last Thursday. He’s got a busy schedule at the moment.
Krok says: Hey Pixie.
ShelleyPixie says: Hey Krok. How’s it going? Been missing you.
Krok says: Sorry, Pixie mine. Been following up on your advice so don’t be cross.
ShelleyPixie says: How so?
Krok says: I’ve been trying to get some funds together. My mate Bruno and me, we’re going in for that quiz show you were telling me about.
ShelleyPixie says: You never!
Krok says: We are. Don’t know if we’ll get selected but we’ve been short-listed down to the final fifty so keep everything crossed for us!
ShelleyPixie says: You’re going to be on Beat the Bank! OMG!
Krok says: Well, maybe. We’ll find out in a couple of days. Just wanted to let you know, sweetheart. It was U gave me the idea. What if I win the million pounds? What then?
ShelleyPixie says: You’ll make your dream come true. Yay!
Krok says: Send me a pic.
ShelleyPixie says: I haven’t got any recent ones.
Krok says: Send me one anyway.
ShelleyPixie says: I’ll see.
Krok says: Are you afraid I won’t like what I see?
ShelleyPixie says: No. I’m not that ugly.
Krok says: You have a heart of gold, Pixie. How could you ever be ugly? Marry me?
ShelleyPixie says: Only if you win the million. LOL.
He’s joking, by the way. He knows I’m on this time-limit thing. He knows I’m not going to last all that long. I told him about all that at the beginning. He’s gone quiet now. He’s probably talking to three girls at once. He’s asking them all to marry him. Guys who look like him don’t lack for girlfriends. Oh well. Where’s SugarShuli?
ShelleyPixie says: Still there?
SugarShuli says: Still here. Where’d you go?
ShelleyPixie says: Krok just came on. You wont believe it. He’s been chosen as a finalist on Beat the Bank.
Surinda watches this every Saturday evening. It’s what brought us together in the first place. She’s hooked on it, like me.
SugarShuli says: He never is!
ShelleyPixie says: It’s true.
SugarShuli says: When will he know? OMG. Could he get us tickets to be in the audience do you think?
That’s a thought that hadn’t occurred to me.
ShelleyPixie says: Might do. If he gets in. Would you even be allowed to come? Don’t know if Mum would take us. Actually I don’t even want my mum to take us. Mum always has to be in on everything. I want to do this without her. Maybe Surinda could help me?
SugarShuli says: I’ll tell my parents it’s a school project. I’ll come if your mum can take us.
ShelleyPixie says: No, Mum can’t do it. Can yours? What about we two go alone?
Krok’s back.
Krok says: Sorry, Pixie. Phone call interrupted there. I’m supposed to be working at the moment too.
ShelleyPixie says: Who wants to hire DVDs at this time in the morning?
Krok says: You’d be surprised. Never mind the shop, though, Pix. I’ve got a stint at the recording studio this afternoon.
ShelleyPixie says: Cool. Hope they give you a job.
Krok says: It’s all good experience. They like me helping out. Maybe they’ll hire me eventually!
ShelleyPixie says: They should.
SugarShuli says: Hey, Krok, I’m Surinda.
Hell, where did SHE come from?
ShelleyPixie says: Private conversation, SugarShuli.
I’m going to kill her.
SugarShuli says: Sorry. Good luck with the Beat the Bank thing, man.
Krok