Anthony wrinkled his nose slightly. ‘That sounds a bit nauseating.’
‘They’re very sweet, actually. She was obsessed with him at college. It’s lovely that she finally got together with him.’
‘So, was Paris nice?’
‘It was lovely, yes. Have you been?’
‘A couple of times. Where did you stay?’
‘In a hotel near the Champs Elysees. It was lovely. I’d never been to Paris before so it was lovely to see all the sights I’d read about and seen on TV.’
‘Did Patrick know Paris well?’
‘He seemed to, yes.’ I smiled a little sadly. ‘It was very romantic. He proposed to me, actually. He pulled out all the stops: violins, champagne, roses.’
‘He proposed?’ Anthony’s fork paused on its way to his mouth. ‘But I thought you’d only been together a short time?’
‘Yes.’
Anthony put his fork down and looked at me. ‘You said no, of course.’
I stared at him, wishing I could agree and say ‘of course I said no!’, but I’d said yes, so I couldn’t. I felt a quiver of shame and regret run through me and decided that, in future, I should just lie, or preferably not discuss Patrick at all. Especially with extremely handsome men who were practically strangers.
Anthony raised an eyebrow. ‘You said yes? So, let me get this straight. You hardly saw or spoke to him, but you still thought it would be a good idea to marry him?’
‘I know, it sounds awful.’ I passed a hand across my face, feeling embarrassed.
‘Hey, it’s not my place to judge.’ Anthony held up his hands and laughed. ‘I’m just wondering how he got away with behaving like that when I’ve never been able to.’
I smiled and rubbed my head, still embarrassed. ‘Well, he was behaving better at the time. When I first met him, which was just before Christmas last year, he was really full-on. He phoned me all the time and showered me with gifts. He made me feel special. And then it seemed like as soon as I started falling for him, it all stopped and he started not being able to see me. We had a big row about it around March time, and he said I wasn’t being fair because he had to make time for his daughter too, which made me feel like a monster. Anyway, we sorted that out and he allowed me to meet his little girl, and I felt like he was letting me into his life at last. It was just after that he took me to Paris and proposed. I must have been mad to say yes, but I thought he’d changed and that he must be serious about me to go to all the effort of organising a proposal that grand. I was swept away by it all. But when I got home, he was worse than ever. I hardly heard from him again at all.’
‘When did you finish it?’
‘He was supposed to come to my mum’s sixtieth birthday party but he let me down at the last minute. Said he was stuck at work. It was a big deal because he hadn’t met any of my friends or family.’
‘Really?’ Anthony looked astounded. ‘I need to talk to this man, get some tips from him.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘He kept you hanging on for months while avoiding spending any quality time with you, and managed to avoid meeting your friends and family. That’s quite a genius manoeuvre. How did he do that? Can I have his number?’
I knew Anthony was joking, or at least I hoped he was, but his words stung and I felt a frisson of anger pulse through me. ‘He has a big personality and he’s hugely generous. But I can’t give you his number because I don’t have it any more. I made a point of deleting it when we split up.’ I put my knife and fork down and reached for my wine. ‘It also requires your girlfriend to be gullible and slightly mad. I mean, I must have been mad, mustn’t I? I even agreed to get married abroad, knowing my dad won’t fly. What was that all about? I have no clue.’ I took another gulp of wine and blinked away the sudden tears from my eyes. ‘It’s funny because I’d never been taken in by men’s bullshit before. Patrick was the first man I ever really cared about and he played me for a fool. People warned me our relationship didn’t make sense but I wouldn’t listen. I suppose I wanted to believe him.’
Anthony reached for my hand with a sympathetic smile. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.’
‘It’s okay.’ I looked at his kind eyes and was unable to imagine him taking advantage of anyone’s trust. ‘Anyway, I can’t believe I’m telling you all this. I feel so ashamed of myself for being taken in by him like that.’ I picked up my knife and fork again as Anthony removed his hand from mine. ‘Suffice to say, it is not a genius manoeuvre to string people along like that and leave them feeling duped.’
‘Is that how you feel? Duped?’
‘Pretty much. And used and stupid. When I finished with him he said he didn’t want to leave it like that and that he’d phone me and we’d talk everything through. And guess what? He didn’t phone. So, even though I said the words “It’s over”, I still feel like he had the last laugh by making me wait for a phone call that never came. It’s like he’s play-acting all the time. Everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie.’ I shook my head. ‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be talking about him. This must be very boring for you.’
‘Not at all. It’s my fault, after all. I did ask you about him.’
‘That’s true.’ I smiled at him. ‘What about you then? How did your last relationship end?’
He looked startled for a moment. ‘Oh, err, with me leaving, I expect. That’s usually how they end.’
‘Were you living together?’
‘Oh God, no. Nothing like that. Like I said, I just like to move around.’
‘Does that have to mean leaving everything behind, though? Like you said before about me and Patrick, London isn’t the end of the earth, so if you’re staying in the UK, surely it’s easy enough to carry on seeing someone?’
‘Not if you work all the time, it isn’t.’
‘But didn’t we already discuss that your colleague John is happily married?’
He laughed. ‘I suppose I’ve never met anyone I wanted to keep in touch with like that.’
‘Does that mean you’ve never been in love?’
He cleared his throat and shrugged. ‘Define love.’
I gaped at him. ‘You’ve never been in love? How old are you? Thirty-five?’
He shrugged a shoulder. ‘Thereabouts.’
‘How have you managed to get to thirty-five and not fall in love? Are you a robot or something?’
Laughing, he put his knife and fork together on his plate before pushing it away. ‘I don’t want to fall in love. I generally leave before it gets to that stage. Love is time-consuming and painful.’
‘It’s also wonderful and exhilarating and joyful.’
‘Says the woman who’s had her heart broken.’
‘But I will love again.’
‘Wow! You said that like it’s a slogan or something. Have you had that printed on a T-shirt?’
I laughed. ‘Just think about all the women whose hearts you’ve broken in your time.’
‘Funny, I’m pretty certain I haven’t broken any hearts.’
‘I bet you have, Anthony.’
‘No, I haven’t.’
‘Even if you don’t think you have, I bet you have. Just look at you. On top of being handsome and intelligent,