‘Never.’ He returned her smile, nuzzling her neck, covering that space just below her ear in hundreds of tiny kisses.
‘Then you’ll have to let me repay that favour the second we get back from dinner. We can’t have you in any way dissatisfied now, can we?’
He looked at her, smiling that smile, and she felt her stomach dip and dive again. Oh Jesus, she loved this man so much. So, so much. ‘I’ll hold you to that.’
She closed her eyes as he kissed her again; a beautiful, slow and languid kiss that caused her to melt against him, never wanting to leave his arms, but knowing she had to. They couldn’t stay here all night, even if that was where they both wanted to be.
‘Later.’ He smiled, stroking the damp hair from her face before climbing out of the pool. Amber watched him walk back into their hotel suite, naked and handsome and still as sexy as he had been when she’d first met him over two decades ago.
‘Later,’ she whispered, looking back out at the view in front of her, the resort below now shrouded in a blanket of darkness, the lights of the bars and hotels twinkling away like a myriad of coloured fairy lights. And she just wished later would come sooner than it was going to.
‘I could do without this,’ Ryan muttered, sitting back in his seat, pushing it backwards until it rested on its rear legs, kicking the table leg in front of him like some petulant, bored child.
‘Jesus, you’re not still moping over Amber, are you?’ Gary sighed, sitting down beside Ryan, handing him a pint of lager. ‘Get over it, mate. It’s been months now. And I thought, after everything you’ve been through recently…’ He stopped talking as Ryan threw him a look, and Gary turned away, taking a quick sip of his lager. ‘I thought you were over it, that’s all. You can’t have her anymore. She’s married to the boss. Deal with it.’
Ryan said nothing, just swung back on his chair again, resting his hands on his toned and taut stomach as he watched everything going on around him on the dimly lit, fairy-light-strewed terrace of the restaurant Jim had told them all to meet up in. Colin Bailey – Red Star’s head coach and assistant manager – had made sure all the guys in the squad had got there on time, but there was still no sign of Amber or Jim. Ryan could only guess at what they were doing that was making them so late. And it hurt.
‘It’s got nothing to do with Amber.’
‘Oh really?’ Gary asked, raising a cynical eyebrow. ‘You sure about that?’
‘Ellen’s here.’
‘Eh? What do you mean, Ellen’s here? Ellen’s where?’
‘For fuck’s sake… she’s here, in frigging Tenerife. What do you think I mean?’
‘Okay, okay. Chill out, will you? When did that happen? I thought partners weren’t allowed on this trip? Otherwise I’d doubtless have had Debbie hanging off me arm 24/7, which I can well do without. I can have me pick of women here, but not if the wife’s around.’
Ryan looked at Gary. ‘You finished? Partners aren’t supposed to be here, but Ellen’s taken it upon herself to have what she’s calling a “girly weekend” with her mates – here, in Tenerife. She’s staying at a hotel in Torviscas, wants to know if I can meet her tomorrow. I’ve told her it’s match day, that it’s not a good idea, but then she puts that voice on, you know? That little-girl-lost voice, like I’ve physically wounded her or something… What am I supposed to do, Gaz? Ignore her?’
Gary just shrugged.
‘You’re no fucking help, do you know that?’
‘Well, what do you want me to say? You can’t really ignore her, can you? Not after she’s come all this way. But it might be a good idea to make sure the boss doesn’t find out. The last thing you need is him on your back.’
‘She should’ve asked me first, Gary. I mean, we have fun, don’t get me wrong, and she’s a frigging stunner but… this was supposed to be a break, a chance for me to kick back and let loose for a bit.’
‘She’s spoilt your fun, huh?’ Gary grinned. Ryan didn’t return it. In fact, he didn’t say anything. He just watched as more figures stepped up onto the terrace, and all of a sudden he felt his heart start to beat harder. In anticipation? Of what? Of Amber walking in, taking one look at him and realising that she’d chosen the wrong man? That he was the one she should have stayed with? Yeah, because she’d been acting as though that was the way she’d been thinking ever since this pre-season tour had started. She’d barely looked in his direction. What the hell was he doing? After what he’d done to her, the way he’d behaved…
He felt his stomach literally sink when he saw Ronnie White arrive, because he was alone. Still no Amber and Jim.
‘I’m going for some fresh air,’ Ryan sighed, standing up.
Gary looked at him. ‘Fresh air? We’re outside, Ryan.’
‘I need some space…’ He was stopped from going anywhere as more people arrived, and this time he saw her – Amber. His ex-fiancée and his boss had finally put in an appearance.
He couldn’t take his eyes off her. There was something different about her now; about the way she looked, the way she acted. She was slimmer, more beautiful, that ice-queen image she’d once given off now seemed nothing but a distant memory as she smiled at everyone who looked in her direction – everyone except him. Because, when his eyes finally locked with hers, that smile disappeared, just for a few seconds, until she turned away, back to look at her new husband, and then the smile returned. Ryan felt his heart ache as he watched her stand up on tiptoe to kiss Jim Allen. He watched as their lips met in a long kiss, one that was met with whoops and whistles from the rest of the squad as Jim’s arm snaked around her waist, his hand resting on her hip.
‘I really need that space now,’ Ryan muttered, standing up and almost kicking his chair back. ‘I won’t be long.’
‘Ryan…’ Gary started, but thought better of it. He knew that, sometimes, it was best just to let Ryan get on with things the way he saw fit. As long as you didn’t let him out of your sight for too long. He may have come through that latest round of rehab with no problems, but he was still quite volatile, still likely to do something he shouldn’t if pushed far enough. And Gary knew that better than anyone.
Quickly making his way out onto the beautifully-paved walkway that separated their restaurant from the beach in front of them, Ryan stopped only when he finally found the space he needed, walking over to the low wall that overlooked the beach, placing his hands palm-down on it and leaning forward, closing his eyes, breathing in deeply before exhaling loudly. He hadn’t thought it would be this hard. Was that incredibly naive of him? Since coming out of rehab, regaining his form as one of the greatest footballers of his generation, being given the captaincy at Newcastle Red Star and then taking them to that historic Premier League win, he’d felt fine about it all. He was back in the game, free of his demons – or so he’d thought. But maybe the summer break had given him some kind of false sense of security as far as thinking his feelings for Amber had changed. This pre-season trip was the first time he’d seen her since the end of last season. The first time he’d had a chance to properly face those feelings he’d had for her head-on. The first time he’d really faced up to the fact that she was actually married now, that she’d spent the summer break on a honeymoon that should have been the honeymoon he’d shared with her, not his boss. But he’d fucked that one up good and proper, hadn’t he? Thrown it all away in one night of utter stupidity that just thinking about it brought with it a stabbing pain of regret he couldn’t seem to shift.
Taking another deep breath, he exhaled again, opening his eyes and staring