She wheeled herself to the specially adapted open-plan kitchen, coming back ten minutes later with a plate of chocolate digestives, some finger sandwiches and a steaming mug of tea each. I tucked in ravenously.
‘Don’t wolf it down like that, Kitty. You’ll make yourself sick.’
‘Sorry,’ I said, gulping down a sandwich. ‘Not eaten for twenty-four hours.’
She scanned my crumpled clothes and tangled hair with concern. ‘No offence, dear, but you look like you’ve fallen out of a bird’s nest. What on earth have you been doing with yourself?’
I felt a wave of nausea as I gagged on the last bite of sandwich, but I forced it down.
‘I’ve been hitch-hiking,’ I said. ‘Bit of an experience. Still, one thing I can cross off my bucket list, eh?’
‘Don’t joke, Kitty. This is serious.’
‘You’ve got no idea,’ I said through a mouthful of digestive.
‘What did you mean when you said you weren’t going home?’
‘What I said. I can’t go back, Aunty.’ The mental picture of what I’d seen at the reception rose up in my mind, and I choked on a sob. ‘I’m never going back.’
‘But why?’
‘Something happened. At the wedding reception. Something… something really bad.’
‘With Ethan?’ Her eyes were round. ‘Did he hurt you, Kitty? He didn’t, did he? Surely not.’
In her free time, Aunty Julia volunteered at a women’s refuge, and she had her own bit of history in that department too – dear departed Uncle Ken, widely known among the family as ‘that bastard’. So it was no great surprise that violence was her first thought.
‘Nothing like that.’ I tried to push back my tears, but they wouldn’t stop coming.
‘Then what? Was there – you didn’t find him with someone else?’
I turned my face away to gaze out of the window. ‘I’d really rather not talk about it just yet. It’s… kind of raw.’
She stared at me for a moment, mouth open, as if she was struggling to take it all in.
‘But you can’t just run away,’ she said at last. ‘What about your mother? She’ll be worried sick.’
‘She’ll cope,’ I muttered.
‘Let me call her, dear. She can take you home, and if Ethan’s done something—’ Her brow lowered. ‘Well, never you mind about that. He won’t be able to hurt you, we’ll see to it.’
‘No,’ I said sharply. ‘No. I don’t want you to call her. Please.’
‘But she’ll be so anxious when she finds you’re gone. At least let me tell her you’re safe. Then you can stay here for a few days until you’re calmer and we can work out what to do when you get home.’
‘I told you, I’m not going home.’
‘Then where will you go?’
I flushed. ‘Well, I was hoping I could stay here. Just for a little while, until I can make a new start somewhere.’
She shook her head, bewildered. ‘A new start! Don’t you think that’s a little extreme? I mean, your job. Your friends, your family, your house…’
‘It’s Ethan’s house. And there’s nothing in that life I want to go back for now.’
‘You can’t let him chase you away, Kitty. Elden’s your home.’
‘Not any more.’ I finally surrendered and let the tears flow. ‘I can give up or I can start again, Aunty J. And really, I just want to give up. But something won’t let me.’
‘Oh, Kitty…’
She wheeled herself closer and put her arm around me. She had that comforting smell she always had, a combination of some floral perfume and the spicy aniseed tang of the cream she used for muscle pain.
‘Now, don’t you worry about a thing,’ she said gently. ‘What can I do for you, my love? Tell me what you need from me.’
‘Can I stay? Just for a bit.’
‘Of course you can, for as long as you want to. But I wish you’d let me call your mother. You need to be with your family.’
‘You’re my family.’
She smiled. ‘Yes, I suppose I am. Well, dear, how about you go upstairs and run yourself a bubble bath? Get out of that silly dress and into a nice fluffy bathrobe while I make us something yummy for tea? You need something a bit more substantial than ham sandwiches, I think. You’re looking very peaky.’
I sniffed, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. ‘That sounds nice.’ I pecked her cheek. ‘Thanks, Aunty, I knew I could count on you. Love you.’
Upstairs in the bathroom, a huge corner bath gaped welcomingly. I turned on the hot tap, and watched as the steaming jet started to fill the tub. There was some lavender-fragranced bubble bath next to the tap, so I threw a bit in.
God, it was nice to feel safe again. Grounded.
I pulled off my wellies, then glanced down at my dress, which was a bit worse for wear by now.
I remembered the day I’d got it; how excited I’d been at the colour, the cut, the fit. Nan had been with me. I could picture her zipping me into it and the quaint little blessing she’d muttered in the accent that even after fifty years in Yorkshire, still had a trace of County Kerry about it – ‘health to wear it, strength to tear it, money to buy another’. Then she’d kissed me, told me I was beautiful. Told me how proud my dad would’ve been if he’d been around to see me.
I wished I could call her, just to hear her voice for five minutes.
I hunted around the bathroom for a towel, but there didn’t seem to be any. Opening the door, I went to ask Aunty Julia where she kept them these days.
At the top of the stairs, I stopped. I could hear muttered speech. Who was she talking to? Glancing down, I saw her on the phone in the hallway.
‘Yes, she’s here, safe and sound,’ she was saying in a low voice. ‘No, she won’t tell me. Ethan must really have done something terrible to get her into that state. Complete breakdown, it looks like.’
She paused while the person on the other end of the line said something.
‘No, you never trusted him, did you? I should’ve listened. But Kitty was so besotted with him, and he seemed such a nice boy, I did think… ah well. I suppose my record’s against me.’ She sighed. ‘Poor little girl. What can we do for her now?’
Another pause, then:
‘Are you sure? She seems quite adamant she doesn’t want to go home. Of course, she’ll calm down after a few days, but maybe she’s better off here until then?’
She paused again. ‘Okay, if you’re positive it’s for the best, you’d better come and fetch her. I’ll look after her till you get here. Bye, Petra.’
I stiffened, then dashed back into the bathroom to yank my wellies back on.
My stomach lurched painfully, and I threw myself over the toilet bowl as the sandwiches I’d just eaten came back up. When I’d retched out the entire contents of my gut, I flushed the loo and rinsed my mouth out over the sink, staring at the pale alien looking back at me from the mirror.
I couldn’t believe it! She’d only gone and called Mum, after I’d specifically asked her not to! Aunty Julia, the one person I’d really believed would be on my side; the person I loved and trusted most