One-one.
We sat in awkward silence for a few seconds as I finished off Andrew’s coffee‚ daring him to say something to me in my domain. I checked him out. Dark‚ wavy‚ presidential hair dropping effortlessly over his big forehead. A nose that can only be described as prominent and dark eyes which held mine without hesitation. Stripy shirt with a loose brown blazer‚ with patches on the elbow and a jaunty novelty tie that sat askew. Looking for all the world like a geography teacher.
Andrew glanced at his watch. ‘Oh‚ look at that. Must dash.’
Yeah‚ on your bike‚ mate. Dash away!
‘Andrew’‚ Mum said‚ ‘teaches at Heston Primary.’
I knew it.
I shrugged. Big and exaggerated. The kind of shrug that did not require decrypting. Andrew and Mum stood up in tandem. Mum stepped to him‚ straightened his tie and then tiptoed and kissed him on the face. On the fucking face! They smiled stupidly at each other for a second‚ and then they walked out of the kitchen and into the hallway. I heard the front door open but not close. I walked out of the kitchen and into the hallway and made myself into a sixth toe. I watched them carefully talking in hushed tones. I sniffed loudly. I cleared my throat. I forced a cough until finally he got the message and walked out.
Mum gave him a cheery wave and said ‘Good luck!’ She hesitantly shut the door after Andrew was out of sight‚ and I made my way back into the kitchen for some Coco Pops.
Mum walked in as I was slamming the kitchen cabinet shut. She slapped me on the back of the head.
‘What the fu—’
‘Excuse me?’
‘What was that for?’ I asked‚ rubbing the back of my head.
‘Calm down‚ Jay. You’ve made your point‚’ Mum said.
I finished preparing my cereal and sat at the table whilst she loaded the dishwasher. This clearly was not the right time to ask for ten large.
So instead I asked‚ ‘Good luck for what?’
Mum didn’t answer me straight away. She took off her marigolds and pulled up a chair opposite me. Her features softened‚ her earlier annoyance with me no longer visible.
‘It’s Andrew’s last day at school.’
‘How sweet. Are all the kids going to sign his shirt and flour bomb him?’ I said‚ through a mouthful.
Ignoring my sarcasm‚ Mum placed both her hands out invitingly onto the middle of the table. I looked at her curiously as I crunched loudly on my cereal. I slowly put the spoon back in the bowl and my hands reached out to hers.
‘Jay… We need to talk.’
I swallowed. Never had she said that to me before. Yeah‚ we talk but we don’t talk.
‘What is it‚ Mum?’
I could see her trying to piece together the words in her head which just added to my already increasing anxiety. Different scenarios ran through my mind‚ none of them pleasant.
‘Mum! What?’ I said‚ and it came out like a high pitched squawk. My hands had tensed and tightened around Mum’s.
‘Andrew and I. We‚ um… Well‚ we… I don’t know quite how to say this.’
Okay‚ so they had been seeing each other. No big deal. I wasn’t that naïve to think that Mum was still pottering around the house‚ pining for a good Muslim man to make an honest woman of her. I released my hands from hers. It’s wasn’t like she was dying‚ or anything that would warrant holding hands. For a second there‚ just for a minute‚ she had frightened me.
‘Yeah‚ yeah‚ Mum. You don’t have to spell it out.’ I aimed for and hit nonchalance. ‘So you’re seeing this Andrew character. I get it. So what we looking at? Marriage? Is he moving in? Gonna live in sin‚ are we?’ I said‚ with a wink. I leaned back in my chair and continued to devour my Coco Pops.
Silence for a moment. Then‚ ‘We are going to live together… In Qatar.’
I stopped eating. ‘Where?’
‘Qatar‚ it’s in the—’
‘Yeah‚ I know where Qatar is.’ I said‚ unnecessarily raising my voice. ‘When?’ I asked‚ a little softer.
‘Soon… Wednesday.’
‘Wednesday. This Wednesday? As in the day after tomorrow? That Wednesday?’ I said incredulously. Even as I was saying this my mind was in overdrive. This could be my way out. Yeah‚ Wednesday. I can be out of here before my Friday midnight deadline and not have to worry about Silas. This could work!
‘I know what you’re thinking‚ Jay.’
You have no idea what I’m thinking.
‘But Andrew has been offered a teaching job in Doha and he asked me to go with him.’
I didn’t say anything. Thinking‚ thinking‚ thinking.
‘I kept declining‚’ she continued. ‘I must have said no a hundred times. I kept wondering how it would affect you. But then I thought… I’m not such a bad Mum. I’ve done a pretty good job raising you on my own. A beautiful boy to a handsome young man.’
She kept on going. I tuned out.
My mind was made up. In the last few seconds I had planned out my next few days. I had to see Idris… and I guess I should probably see that annoying twerp Parvez. Say my farewells. Goodbye lads‚ I am off to pastures new. Hot and exotic. I’ll send you a postcard. Goodbye‚ Silas‚ I’ll definitely send you a postcard. Maybe a picture of me on a sunbed browning myself with a Margarita in hand. Oh yeah‚ the ultimate fuck you.
I tuned back into the conversation feeling elated.
‘You’ll never know how proud I am when I’m with you… But it’s time to think about myself. I know you’ll be alright‚ Jay…’ She wiped her tears. I hadn’t even realised that she had been crying. She cleared her throat. ‘I’ll leave everything documented for you‚ service providers and any important phone numbers.’
What? Where is she going with this?
‘I’m confident‚ in fact I’m certain‚ that you can run things around here.’
That’s when it hit me. Late to the party as always.
‘Am I not coming with you‚ Mum?’ I said‚ my voice only just above a whisper.
‘Oh‚ Jay‚’ Mum said‚
She stood up and walked around the table and held my head tightly to her chest. I sat frozen‚ listening to her heartbeat and it took all my effort not to cry. I closed my eyes tightly and inhaled deeply her scent‚ the realisation hitting me that from here on‚ my problems were mine alone. I got myself into this mess. I had to get myself out.
If Mum believed that I was ready to be a man then‚ fuck it‚ I was ready to be a man. I detached myself from her and emerged with a smile that told her exactly that.
Hounslow High Street hustled and bristled with every type of religion‚ culture and colour. Ten different languages could be heard in a two-minute walk. All walks of life from the prim to the pauper. Students‚ couples‚ doddery old dears‚ shoppers looking for their Pound Shop fix mingling with the shoplifters‚