It’s hard to imagine that anyone could possibly own more haircare products than Hannah although, to be fair, that goes with the job. Nor do I tell her that I saw Alex pack three washbags in his overnight bag.
‘Sebastian, right?’
‘Big mistake.’ All Hannah’s ex-boyfriends are big mistakes. ‘I could never get into the bathroom! He smelt good and he looked great, but he was far more in love with himself than he ever was with me.’
‘Moron,’ I say.
‘Yeah. Fuck him. Still, you won’t have that problem.’ I think she’s going to say that Alex is head over heels in love with me, but instead she says, ‘You’ve got about ten bathrooms in this house.’ It’s a gross exaggeration, and we both laugh.
Hannah sits on the bed next to me. I’ve known Hannah for a long, long time. We’ve been inseparable since our first day at primary school. We didn’t have the same interests as we grew up: I was athletic whereas Hannah was allergic to sport. I studied hard for my A levels – work was a welcome distraction that year. Hannah, on the other hand, skipped class to concentrate on the practical side of her sex education. I got good results, which was a huge relief as I was able to get away for a while and go to university. Hannah flunked her A levels but couldn’t have cared less, even though this meant she had to carry on living with her parents for a few years.
After I lost Louisa, Hannah was my rock. Leaving her behind in Somerset this time was harder in many ways than leaving Kevin. The conversation was a bit strained between us on the phone the first couple of times. Hannah made it very clear that she thought I was making the wrong decision. I’d desperately needed her support, but Hannah had needed a little time to come round. She resented the fact that I’d made her complicit in all this, too. I’m so glad that things are back to normal between us.
‘So, what’s his family like?’ she asks, hugging her knees to her chest and pulling the quilt up around her.
‘Well, he doesn’t have anything much to do with his dad,’ I begin. ‘He won’t be coming to the wedding. He hasn’t been invited. Apparently he was a serial adulterer and Alex’s mum threw him out when Alex was little. Nobody actually knows where he is.’
‘And his mum?’
‘Well, we didn’t exactly hit it off the first time I met her, but she’s making an effort.’
‘Oh? What happened?’
‘Well, I was talking about my childhood and growing up with Julie and Louisa, and Dad having his work cut out for him in a house with four women, two of them incorrigible twins. I overheard her whisper to Alex: “Oh, God. You didn’t tell me there were two of her.” I hadn’t told her what had happened to Louisa at that point.’
‘What a terrible thing to say!’ There is a brief silence, which Hannah breaks. ‘What about Alex? Does he have any brothers or sisters? I honestly can’t remember him from school at all.’
‘Well, he was in the same house as Louisa and me, not you. And he was two years ahead of us. He’s an only child. I think that’s part of the problem between his mum and me. She must think I’ve trapped her prince into marrying me by getting myself pregnant with his baby.’ I become aware that I’ve been twisting a strand of my hair round my finger. A nervous habit. I sit on my hands, and add, ‘Things went a bit smoother last time we met up, though.’
‘I’m very jealous of you, you know,’ Hannah says.
‘Why?’ I’m not sure what she means. Surely she doesn’t want a difficult mother-in-law.
‘I was jealous before. I thought you and Kevin were really good for each other—’
‘Hannah,’ I say in a warning tone, thinking she’s going to tell me again that I’ve messed up.
‘No, let me finish. From what you’ve told me about Alex, and judging from what I’ve seen of him since I arrived, I think you’ve … Well, let’s just say, I hope I find someone I can be as happy with one day.’
‘Really?’ Hannah has had an endless string of boyfriends, and hasn’t stayed with any of them for any length of time. I’m taken aback by her admission.
‘Yes. I’d like to settle down one day. Preferably before I’m in my forties.’
‘That gives you another three years. That’s loads of—’
‘I don’t want to be left on the shelf. But I don’t want to marry someone I’m not absolutely sure about, either.’
I look at Hannah. Her cheeks are even rosier than usual. I’m at a loss for words.
She smiles reassuringly at me, and it occurs to me that I should have found comforting words for her instead of platitudes.
Then her smile drops, and she says, ‘You are absolutely sure about Alex, right?’
‘Yes, of course,’ I reply, my heart skipping a beat at Hannah’s perspicacity. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Just that, oh, I don’t know. I like Alex. I like him a lot. But he does seem to be a bit too good to be true.’
I don’t answer. I don’t know what to say.
‘Oh, don’t pay any attention to me.’ She grins again, but her flippant tone sounds affected. ‘I’m just jealous! I’m off to bed now before I say anything else I shouldn’t. You need to get some sleep before your big day.’
I’ve been plucking at the quilt, and realise I’ve chipped a newly manicured nail. I swear under my breath.
I’m exhausted and sleep comes almost straight away. For once, I don’t dream about Louisa. I dream about Kevin, but his face is blurry. He seems to belong to a different world, a different lifetime.
From: [email protected]
Sent: Thur, 13 Oct 2016 at 00:34
Subject: MY BEST GIRL
Dearest Katie,
Two more sleeps until I see you!
I can hardly believe it! I can’t wait.
I hope you’re not having second thoughts. I’m having lots of thoughts … some of them honourable, some of them naughty, and they’re all about you!
What’s mostly on my mind is that I think I’m falling in love with you. When I see you, I’m confident that I’ll know I’ve fallen for you. You are The One. My Best girl.
Now I’ve made that declaration, I’m worried I’ll have scared you off. My promise still stands. I will behave. How is up to you.
It’s great that Hannah has agreed to cover for you. I think I remember her from school. Vaguely. She was your best friend then, too, wasn’t she?
See you the day after tomorrow, Katie. That sounds so unreal!
All my love,
Alexxx
~
I wake up to the noise of an argument and the smell of toast, both coming from downstairs. I close my eyes tight, thinking I’ll go back to sleep for a few minutes, and then it hits me. It’s