Zoophobia: this one’s easy to remember, as it means fear of animals. We’re all scared of tigers or snakes that might kill us, and that’s a good thing. A zoophobic is the friend whose heart starts pounding when your mini poodle wakes up from his nap.
Squirmy Worms
Pinworms grow in your intestines and are very contagious. Can you guess which part of your body they come out of? Think for a minute. The intestines lead to…your butt—which means that the worms may show up in your underwear or in the toilet if you get infected. They are little white stringlike fellows less than half an inch long. The females go to work while you are asleep, planting thousands of eggs around your butt skin. You’ll start to itch, but it’s best not to scratch. There are effective medications, but it can take quite a while to completely wipe out an infestation. Washing your hands is the best prevention.
Trippy Fish
When snorkeling off the coast of Florida, don’t be drawn in by a piranha’s beguiling smile. These river beasts can easily rip off skin with their teeth. Its African relative, the Goliath tigerfish, has even been known to eat crocodiles.
Herpetophobia: fear of reptiles, especially lizards and snakes
Lots of Snot
As gross animals go, giraffes don’t even rank, except for their 18-inch tongues, which work double duty by chewing leaves and giving their nostrils a clean sweep. Ever heard of touching your tongue with your nose? These guys keep riding right on inside and then stay awhile.
Two Heads Are Better than One
On various occasions, unusual snakes, calves, and turtles have all appeared with two heads on one body. There was once even a calf born with eight legs and two tails, although it did at least have the decency to limit his head count to one. On the other hand, the two-headed blind Brazilian snake has only one cranium, along with a misleading tail that also resembles one. Turns out the reptile’s not blind, either; however it can move in either direction—heads or tails.
Did You Know? The famed horny toad, celebrated outdoor pet of many a Texas child, is really a lizard. But that’s not the exciting part. These lizards can squirt blood from their eyes!
Porta-Umbrella
Shower much? An alligator in British Guiana once grew a tree on its back. At least he didn’t have to look for a shady spot to rest.
Did You Know? In the United Kingdom, skunks are occasionally domesticated (kept as house pets). Since 2006, taking out their scent glands is against the law, so think twice before bringing one home and letting him sleep in your bed. These gentle creatures, who eat seeds, berries, fruit, and insects, will issue a warning before spraying in self-defense, however. So if you see a raised tail, run the other way.
Smell You Later
We’ve all seen it happen. We may look away and pretend we don’t notice, just like we do when our math teacher has his fly down. But still, we have to ask the question: Why do dogs smell each other’s privates upon initial greeting? As Psychology Today points out, given that dogs can sniff out cocaine and dead bodies, “Why would a dog need to stick his nose directly into another dog’s snout, genitals, and nether regions to garner social information? Couldn’t he do that at a ‘safer’ distance?” The answer to this is inconclusive, as dog experts don’t agree on this rather boorish behavior. Some say a face-to-face greeting can be seen as confrontational, while others say canines collect more information from going where no man dares to go.
Did You Know? Dogs are champion smellers. Compared to the measly five percent of your brain devoted to figuring out that you stepped in something other than mud, at least a third of a dog’s brain is dedicated to olfactory stuff.
Olfactory: it sounds like something you’d find in an abandoned mill town, but olfactory actually means having to do with your sense of smell, from the Latin olfacere (to smell).
Bite-Size Reptile
A rattlesnake was no match for Rodney Fluery, who, in 1971, killed one by biting it.
Prehistoric Horror
The 2007 discovery of a fossilized giant scorpion claw has led scientists to believe that spiders and other objects of our disgust had been even bigger than previously believed. As Dr. Simon Braddy from the University of Bristol put it, “This is an amazing discovery. We have known for some time that the fossil record yields monster millipedes, super-sized scorpions, colossal cockroaches, and jumbo dragonflies, but we never realized, until now, just how big some of these ancient creepy-crawlies were. We think the claws on this creature would have been powerful enough to rip someone to shreds.”
Glow in the Dark
Scorpions can glow in the dark. If you have an ultraviolet light, you’ll be able to see them. They’re also poisonous, though—so stand at a good distance. We’d rather stand as far as possible away—maybe even light years away—by gazing safely at the Scorpio constellation in the night sky. (If you’re more adventurous, maybe you’d like to taste one. See Score for Scorpion Lovers)
Sea Cucumber
Such a harmless name, and some people do eat them, but it’s what they eat that’s rather disturbing: a mixture of dead animal matter and feces. They’re also called sea slugs—even less appealing, isn’t it?
Dining in
A hagfish eats its prey from the inside out (by slipping inside through the prey’s mouth or any other opening that’s big enough). It also has a rather interesting way of protecting itself: it produces slime that chokes its predators.
The Big Gulp
Have you ever used the term “big mouth” for a friend who can’t keep secrets?