‘You’ll have to move me then. This is sooo comfy.’ Lou closed her eyes, stretching back her neck.
‘Darling, please?’ Cathy pleaded.
‘Do I really look that bad?’ Lou protested. ‘Actually, I’ve got a better idea. Flowers, come and sit with me, Cathy wants a photo.’
Cathy shook her head, her neat bob rippling. ‘You’re incorrigible, Lou Cavendish. If you were my pupil, you would be in detention.’
‘Ms Golding, if I was your pupil, you would have kicked me out the first day for swearing,’ Lou retorted.
‘Absolutely, darling,’ Cathy tittered, ‘now close in.’
We all sniggered at their banter. I ran over and sat next to Lou. Kim and Angie hugged into us.
Cathy snapped away with her phone. ‘OK. So, I’ll take one or two and then you will all stand behind me. Deal?’
We looked at one another and laughed. ‘Yes, miss.’ It felt great to have some fun with them again.
Cathy widened her mouth to demonstrate. ‘Cheese.’
‘Fromage,’ Lou and Angie sang together loving to wind Cathy up.
Cathy slowly took three shots whilst we fixed our grins. ‘Thank you.’ Then we dispersed.
Lou, Kim, Angie and I padded behind Cathy to the other side. A long wooden staircase ran up to the next floor and a long solid oak dining table almost matched the wood on the floor.
‘Oh, look at this. More wine,’ I said, pointing to three bottles of wine, a box of chocolates and a box of biscuits in between two tall ornate candlesticks. ‘We’ve landed in heaven. Let’s find some glasses. Forget the skiing. I could just stay cosied up here all week.’
‘Me too,’ Kim agreed. ‘Did you say we’re here a week or a month?’
‘Wouldn’t it be lovely to stay here a month, six maybe?’ I said. ‘All of us.’
The silence in the room was deafening as we dreamed.
‘And look at that kitchen area,’ Angie said, staring wide-eyed in the last corner. ‘Oh, Lou, your Terry would love that. Look it’s perfect for entertaining and this could be a model for your Cosy Cottages.’
‘Yes, if we could build cottages square, this layout would be great. And, I’d just love to stay a month or six,’ Lou said, then pausing, twisted her mouth. I sensed something was on her mind. ‘Well, nothing’s settled, but if Terry and I sell the business, which we’ve been talking about doing this year, maybe these things are possible. I know it’s a leap, but we’re seriously thinking of retiring, so you could come travelling with us, Ginny. We could come back here. Spring and summer here must be lovely too.’
‘Oh no, sweetheart, you will want to spend time together,’ I said, knowing how the romance of it all had become so consuming for me and Mike. We’d had it all planned. It was something I’d often thought about this last year. Before his cancer, we were excited to be at that age where we could start thinking about semi-retiring at least. We’d spoken about long weekends away and country walks one day in the week. That excitement had naturally left me. This was the bit I was dreading: spending my last days on my own. And playing gooseberry to another couple on holiday wasn’t my idea of fun, grateful to Lou though I was.
‘You’re kidding. I’ve already told him he’s out the house three days a week – golf, fishing, voluntary work, whatever he decides – as I will be filling my days. There’s so many things I want to do and that includes spending time with my Flowers.’
Cathy padded over and took a photo of the kitchen. ‘Best thing I ever did, clock up enough years to claim my teacher’s pension. Travelling is amazing. Anthony and I have met so many interesting people. Bit exhausting at times, but I’d skulk off and do my writing or read my book leaving Anthony to chat to his heart’s content. He and Mike would talk to anyone, wouldn’t they?’ She turned to me.
I nodded in agreement. ‘Yes, the village gossip and my social secretary,’ I added as Angie stepped beside me and I felt a light comforting touch on my arm. ‘It’s fine,’ I told her. I didn’t mind talking about Mike. I thought I should do it more. Cathy was just thinking aloud, that was all, and I liked that he was mentioned in conversation. But, the thought of travelling alone or with a bunch of strangers scared me. I pinched the skin on my forehead. ‘Ah, wineglasses, that’s what I came here for.’ I remembered the glasses and trundled across the kitchen to search the cupboards. ‘Anyway, I’d prefer to work until I’m ninety, even if it’s part-time. I couldn’t imagine being at home on my own for the next thirty years. That’s if I have thirty years, of course. Besides, financially it could be a struggle. We drained our savings and the proceeds of the sale of Mike’s business when he couldn’t work. I’ve only got half a pension from Cashmere Cosmetics, as I hadn’t worked there long enough for a full pension.’
‘You’ll be able to top it up with state pension when you’re sixty-six though, sweet,’ Lou said.
‘Yes, but I’d rather work to keep busy.’ I gathered five large wineglasses by their stems.
With her black eyes following me back to the breakfast bar, Angie still appeared concerned. ‘I know you don’t really talk about Cashmere, but have you heard from any of your friends there?’
I sighed. ‘Mm, yes. Alex, one of the PAs who I got on with. She rings occasionally, but she has three teenagers keeping her busy. She says it’s not the same with Lucy steering my marketing ship.’ I grinned at Alex’s analogy. ‘Apparently, the team don’t have much confidence in her. I think Alex is just being kind. It’s early days and she’ll find her feet. I know, I employed her.’
Angie squeezed my shoulders and kissed my hair. ‘Aww, that’s a noble thing to say, and demonstrates your professional attitude – that’s a positive strength. I’m sure underneath you’re cursing for having trained her so well.’
‘Lucy’s a very bright girl. She’ll have her own style of managing and directing the team forward.’
Cathy picked up a clean tea towel and a supposedly cleaned glass and inserted her hand to polish it. ‘I think you dealt with it extremely well, considering. I just wish you could have told us sooner.’
A ‘yes’ echoed around the kitchen.
‘Plain and simple. I was devastated and … ashamed,’ I admitted, taking a deep breath and staring at Cathy’s busy hands. ‘I can’t really explain why I didn’t tell you all immediately. I could barely believe it. It didn’t sink in for a while and for some mad reason, I thought if I got another job straight away, I could pretend I had been looking to change anyway.’ I shrugged. ‘Utterly mad, wasn’t it? I suppose it felt like a personal attack, particularly so close to Mike’s death. I know I had to take a lot of time off when Mike was ill, but I got the impression they were sympathetic and understood. They paid me for the compassionate leave too. That notice was a bolt from the blue, especially when I’d just returned from my lovely trip to Australia. I was just beginning to cope. Now I wish I had abandoned them earlier and spent more time with Mike.’
‘That’s not surprising,’ Angie said, throwing her arm back around my shoulder and lightly squeezing the top of my arm. ‘I would be bitter. I’m so glad you can talk about it now though.’ Angie scanned the room. ‘We all are.’
Lou struck the marble kitchen top with her hand. ‘Absolutely! What are friends for if we can’t share our troubles? Gosh, we’ve almost spent our entire lives together; there’s no reason why we shouldn’t be able to say what’s on our minds. Sweetheart, you can’t bottle things up like this. You should trust us by now.’
Fighting off a lump in my throat, I swallowed and leant forward to grab a bottle of wine. ‘I know, and I do. I trust you all immensely. And,