Obviously, if you have any concerns, then go and talk to your doctor or midwife about them. At the end of the day, or rather nine months, it’s your baby, and your body. If you do what feels right for both of you, you will always know that you did your best. If you don’t mind putting on a bit of weight, then go for it! Being pregnant was the first time I enjoyed feeling rounder and more curvy, and it was (eventually) a very sexy feeling. But if you’d rather keep the weight gain to a minimum, then try not to eat much more than normal. As long as it’s a balanced diet with all the food groups in it, you and your baby will probably both be just fine.
Body Image and Eating Problems
Here’s an indisputable fact: lots of women have eating problems. Millions of us. I can hardly think of a single friend between the ages of twenty and sixty who hasn’t had, or doesn’t still have, some kind of hang-up about food and eating, and that’s not because I hang around neurotic, anorexic, food-obsessed people. Almost everyone has food issues these days, and pregnant women are no exception.
We may like to think, or hope, that becoming a mother somehow changes our attitudes to life, our priorities and our self-image, but in fact it often does nothing of the sort. Just because you have a baby to think about does not automatically mean you suddenly stop caring about the size of your bum, the wobbliness of your thighs or how much carbohydrate you consume. Nor should you expect it to, or worry if it doesn’t.
If you are one of the lucky, confident types who loves her body in whatever form, then I take my hat off to you. If, like me and most of my friends, you have a fairly changeable body image and have been through periods of being underweight, overweight or just-not-the-weight-you-want weight, then you will probably continue this way throughout your pregnancy. Some women get a little worse, and some women get a little better as they learn to relax about their bodies.
One thing I have discovered is that pregnancy can be the start of food problems for many women because it changes your body shape out of all recognition very quickly, you suddenly become aware of lots of parts of your body you had never paid much attention to before, and it requires you to think about what you do and don’t eat the whole time. Once you’ve had the baby you might start to lose some of the weight gained, but this pursuit can become addictive, which is why you may have seen pictures of previously gorgeous, curvy girls suddenly looking like skeletons within a year of their baby being born. It’s very sad, but it’s not uncommon.
So if you are wondering why there is quite so much reference to food and body size in this book from now on, that is why. Spend 20 minutes in a playground or a toddler group and just listen to the conversations: 80% of them are about biscuits, picking at food, losing weight, trying to get fit or just feeling fat. I had a conversation with a stunningly attractive mother of four last week who told me she only started to accept and like her ‘new’ body when her first child was 12. It’s not just me. It’s motherhood.
Anorexia
If you are truly anorexic then you have done well to conceive in the first place, and you should get some medical advice about nutrition for your pregnancy. The main person who will suffer if you don’t eat enough is you: I have known some unbelievably skinny women produce healthy, chubby babies, but they themselves look drained, pale, and pretty rough. Also, we don’t know much about what long-term effects your being slightly undernourished can do to your growing baby. When the breastfeeding kicks in, you really do need to have extra reserves in place if you want to remain healthy, so get some help if you think you should be eating more but can’t.
Bulimia
Again, if you make yourself sick occasionally, regularly or even frequently, you probably won’t stop the day you become pregnant. Bulimia is so widespread these days that there are probably hundreds of pregnant women who continue to make themselves sick, and are terrified of what it’s doing to their baby. I have been an on-and-off sufferer since I was about fifteen, and it was only a recent health scare which finally kicked the habit abruptly and permanently. Being pregnant didn’t, and I carried on being sick every so often throughout all of my pregnancies. My babies were all absolutely fine. The worst part is the guilt and worry, and if you can get some counselling then do. Probably the worst side-effect of bulimia from a baby’s point of view is that it puts your stomach under considerable stress, it can throw your electrolyte balance off-kilter, and it makes you worried.
Taking laxatives
This seems like a very bad idea to me. Laxatives reduce the amount of nutrients getting into your blood, and hence into your baby’s blood. Talk to your doctor as soon as you can about this sort of problem.
There have been many studies into the effects of eating disorders in pregnancy on babies, but there is little to support the idea that having a minor eating problem can put your baby at greater risk of miscarriage or abnormalities. What does seem to be agreed upon is that issues about body image and food do not go away during pregnancy, and can even get worse afterwards unless some kind of counselling is offered. If you are worried, embarrassed or confused about any of these issues, then please, please talk to your doctor or midwife, who should be able to point you in the right direction. Hiding won’t help anybody.
Pampering—Yes Please! But Is It Still Safe?
If indulging in a little luxury and pampering were out of bounds during these most trying months, then Life really would be a total bitch. Luckily, she isn’t, and she has a heart after all. Either that or she just has a well-developed sense of what’s important, and knows that keeping a pregnant lady looking and feeling good is near the top of the list.
So, what can and what can’t you treat yourself to? Here we fall into the ‘not recommended if you are pregnant’ trap: manufacturers are so terrified of getting sued by irate mothers blaming every skin upset, disastrous hair colour or streaky tan-marks on a product they’ve used, that they slap a warning on everything from two-minute hair packs to nail buffers. Actually, not nail buffers, but that’s probably only a matter of time. The only way to keep up your beauty routine and to enjoy some glamour-restoring treats during your pregnancy is by turning up the common-sense dial once again, and trusting your own instincts.
Hair Colouring
See the box of hair-care tips from Daniel Galvin on page 33.
Aromatherapy
To get all serious for a second, you should only use essential aromatherapy oils if you know what you’re doing, and never during the first three months of your pregnancy. Some essential oils are very dangerous if used during pregnancy, and absolutely not worth messing around with. Having said that, the correct blends of oils can restore your sense of mental well-being, happiness and balance, and an aromatherapy facial is a fantastically relaxing and effective way to care for your pregnant skin and worried brain. Book into a salon which caters for Yummy Mummies-to-be, and talk to your beauty therapist about what you need first.
Essential oils to AVOID include basil, camphor, bay, cedarwood, clary sage, clove, cinnamon, hyssop (what?), juniper, marjoram, myrrh, sage and rosemary.
Essential oils which are still OK include peppermint, for morning sickness, lemon for indigestion, lavender, geranium and rosewood for itchy stretch marks, and grapefruit and orange to combat fatigue, now that coffee’s off the menu.
Massage
Essential for pregnancy survival, especially in the later months, but you need to go to a specialist who knows how to handle and pummel your changing body. There are special positions, techniques and even bizarre objects to lean yourself over to make the whole experience safer and more comfortable. Business-savvy health spas up and down the country are cottoning on to the fact thatYummy Mummies are