The memory of a long-forgotten poem rose unbidden. His dad had been a great one for poetry. A hard-working man, quiet—and some had thought him grim-faced and taciturn. Daniel had later realised this was a product of his dad’s shyness though he had never found him so. A man with few opportunities who’d resigned himself to a life of manual labour, he’d been determined to learn all he could and made damn sure his son looked beyond his roots to stretch for the heights of whatever he chose to study.
Whenever he pictured his dad, it was always with a book in hand: poetry, biographies, history. He soaked up everything and Daniel had learned to read at his knee, a new poem to memorise every week. His favourite times were when his dad opened his huge atlas of the world, letting Daniel choose a page at random. Whatever location he landed on, they would study and explore. A smile played on his lips. They’d travelled the world together side by side at the dining room table.
Daniel lost himself in the rolling waves and the rhythm of the words as they ebbed and flowed through his mind like the white foam of the tide on the sands before him. He rocked back slightly on his heels—hands tucked into the front pockets of his jeans—and for the first time a little bit of peace and quiet stole into a corner of his heart.
This spot, this view had brought him a tiny step back to where he wanted to be. To whom he wanted to be. He wanted to be that man his father had envisioned as he plied his young son with knowledge and a love of learning, a love of exploration and wonder.
Daniel rested his suddenly hot forehead against the cold glass of the window as a wave of shame washed through him from the tips of his boots to the top of his head. A sudden gush of saliva filled his mouth, the sour taste of bile burning his throat. He wrestled with the handle of the French windows and burst out onto the scruffy patio. Lurching to the side, he doubled over, vomiting into the overgrown bushes that framed the door.
He heaved and heaved, feeling like he would turn himself inside out as the realisation hit of how disappointed his dad would be in the shallow, vain fool his beloved boy had become. For the first time, he was glad his dad had only lived long enough to enjoy the beginning of Daniel’s success rather than being there now to witness his fall from grace.
He pushed himself upright, raising his arm to wipe the tears, snot and vomit from his face. A soft noise to his right caused him to whip his head around and Daniel closed his eyes against a fresh roll of shame as he realised Mia had finished upstairs and leaned against the open patio door, her head tilted to one side as she watched him quietly.
Mia stayed still as she watched Daniel struggle not to fall apart before her. His chest heaved, lungs working like a bellows as the air sawed in and out. There was a smear of vomit on his chin, more down his dark sweater and across the sleeve where he’d scrubbed at his face.
She recognised the signs of an impending meltdown when she saw them; had suffered plenty herself over the past couple of years. His obvious distress tugged at her. She didn’t want this man, this intruder in her house. The rational part of her recognised that his presence wasn’t voluntary, and she made a mental note to give Madeline a call later and voice her ire at the correct source of her dilemma.
Mia wanted to carry on as she was, hiding away and burying herself in the work to try and bring Butterfly House back to a semblance of its former glory. It was a Herculean task—even with the help and support of Madeline and Richard.
Her target for opening to guests was slipping further into the distance and part of her was glad of it. If the house wasn’t ready, then she didn’t have to be ready to deal with the outside world. Her grand plan to move forward with her life had turned into a different type of inertia. Perhaps it was time to act, time to take a chance and help someone else, and just maybe help herself at the same time.
Daniel raised a hand to cover his already shut eyes and his shoulders quaked. Moving before she was aware of what she was doing, she reached out to take his other hand, heedless of the unpleasant dampness of it.
‘Daniel, come inside with me and let’s get you cleaned up. It’s all right, darling. It’ll be all right, I promise.’ She tugged gently on his hand and gave an encouraging nod when he dropped his big hand to blink at her through the moisture clinging to his lashes. The sparkle of his tears drew her attention to the stormy green colour of his eyes.
Walking backwards she maintained eye contact as she led him through the empty room and back into the relative warmth of the kitchen. She guided him back to the table and he didn’t resist when pressed into a chair. She dashed through to the dining room to close and latch the patio doors, her stockinged feet sliding across the wooden floor as she hurried back.
Pulling the kitchen door closed, she cocooned them in the warmth from the Aga. Daniel hadn’t moved from the spot she had placed him in and Mia gave him a worried frown as she went over to the sink and turned on the hot water tap. She quickly rinsed her hands, washing off the vomit and snot and supressing a little shudder. Not the time to be squeamish.
Retrieving a plastic bowl from under the sink, she filled it with warm water and fetched a clean towel from the drawer. After placing them on the table, she gripped Daniel’s chin, turning his face towards her. He remained passive while she washed his face, letting her turn his head this way and that as she wiped away the traces of his outburst. She rinsed the towel out in the bowl, then cleaned off his hands with the same concentration, keeping her touch gentle, stroking his skin until he began to stir.
Daniel opened his mouth, no doubt to apologise for his behaviour, but she shook her head and tapped him under the chin to close his mouth. ‘Arms up, Daniel. Let’s get this nasty sweater off you.’ Taking care not to let the dirty material touch his face, she eased the garment over his head and bundled it up with the dirty towel. Turning away, she shoved them into the washing machine, adding them to her grubby pyjamas and dressing gown. A quick twist of the dial and the soothing hum of the machine filled the air.
‘You got a toothbrush in that duffel bag of yours?’ Mia asked, pointing towards the big bag that lay just inside the back door. She waited for him to nod before digging around in its contents until she gave a little grunt of satisfaction as she located and retrieved his wash kit. ‘You’ll feel better once you rinse your mouth and clean your teeth; I always do,’ she said trying to put him at ease.
Deciding a cold drink would probably be welcome, she fetched a can of Diet Coke and a bottle of mineral water from the fridge, before resuming her seat from earlier, one foot tucked beneath her in her habitual position. She’d regret it soon enough when the pins and needles started, but it was a habit she’d developed in childhood and never grown out of.
She watched Daniel rinse and spit, rinse again then dry his face and hands. He was braced over the sink taking deep breaths and the tension in his shoulders told her was trying not to be sick again. Without any real thought, she crossed to stand behind him and rubbed his back softly. Making circles with her hand, she stroked the tense muscles until they yielded beneath her touch.
Stormy green eyes met hers over his shoulder and she twisted her lips into a semblance of a smile, though there was little true mirth in it. ‘What a pair of fuck-ups we are,’ she said bluntly.
Surprise widened his gaze, chasing away some of the desperate vulnerability she couldn’t miss. She knew that look, knew it well, and it helped to crystallise her decision. ‘I don’t want to hear your sad story, Daniel. Nor do I want to tell you mine, so I’ll make a deal with you. You can stay here for a week and get yourself together and in return I expect you to work on the house to earn your keep. There’s a list of things to do as long as your arm. I wasn’t joking when I said I didn’t have a room fit for habitation. I’ll get you a quilt and a pillow and you can crash on the sofa. Tomorrow you can pick one of the rooms upstairs and we’ll clean it up so you have somewhere to sleep tomorrow night. That’s my only offer—take it or take off.’
Mia hoped he’d take it. She knew what it was like to hit rock bottom and Daniel seemed close to that. It