‘But not me.’
I let out a sigh.
‘Go on, get in before we both freeze.’ Cal squinted against the shimmering moonlight. ‘It’s actually turning to snow now. And for God’s sake, be careful going down those steps tomorrow.’
I gave him a mock salute and he rolled his eyes at me. But even in the low light, I could see the humour in them.
‘Night, Lexi.’
‘Goodnight, Cal.’
I waited until he got back in the car and had turned over the engine, then gave a quick wave. He flashed the lights twice, swung the Landy in a circle, and began pulling back onto the main road through the village.
I closed the door, peeled off my outer layers, and flopped backwards onto the bed.
Oh dear. As I had stated earlier, the very last thing I needed in my life was more complication. But I knew for certain now that there was a real possibility I was in danger of developing a quite mahoosive crush on Cal Martin, and that really wouldn’t do.
‘But you look so adorable, darling!’
I gave my mum a look that showed her what I thought about that statement.
‘Honestly, it might have been worth a night on a park bench in order to avoid this,’ I grumped.
Mum straightened my elf hat, topped up my rosy cheeks with her lipstick, and told me not to be so ridiculous before welcoming a group of late-night shoppers and tempting them with the taster plate of Christmas Infused Chocolate Fudge she was brandishing.
‘You know it’s tradition.’ Dan wandered up, his enormous feet encased in curly elf shoes.
‘Just because something is traditional doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a good idea.’ I waved my hand around him. ‘Whoever saw a six foot three, seventeen stone elf anyway?’
‘It’s called getting into the spirit. Use your imagination, Lex. Plus, we know for a fact that it helps attract customers. Proven statistics. Assuming said elves haven’t got a face like a professional lemon sucker.’
I gave him a very fake grin.
‘Where’s your beard anyway?’
‘I may have donned the costume, hat, and shoes but I drew a line at the beard. Last time I wore it years ago I had a rash on my face for a week.’
Dan yanked his own nylon one down for a moment and took a big glug of mulled cider before letting it ping back in place.
‘So … how’s things?’ he asked.
‘Huh?’
Before he could answer, a group of late-night shoppers, already laden with bags, came upon us. Dan did a brilliant job of making them laugh and enticing them into the shop with the promise of mulled wine, cider, and nibbles. But not, of course, before they had insisted on taking around a hundred and two selfies with us, immediately posting some to Facebook, and tagging the shop’s website in the post. Excellent. Any hopes I’d had of keeping my humiliation confined to the village immediately disappeared. But, on the bright side, it was always possible nobody would recognise me.
‘So?’ Dan prodded.
‘What?’ I asked, pulling my phone from the pocket of my elf shorts and unlocking the screen.
‘I hear Cal Martin dropped you home the other night. Rumour is he had his arms around you.’
I turned to my brother. ‘Really? You’re believing gossip now? How would you even know that anyway?’
‘So, it’s not true.’
‘Well, technically it is true –’
Dan opened his mouth and I cut him off.
‘But! Only because I’d fallen through the bloody banisters and was having trouble getting upright.’
‘According to my sources there’s quite a few women around here who would like nothing better than to have trouble getting upright if Cal Martin is involved.’
I rolled my eyes. ‘It’s not like that.’
‘What is it like then?’
Another ping on my phone distracted me, which was just as well as I had no idea what it was like … or what I even wanted it to be like.
‘You can’t shut everyone out for ever, you know, Lex.’ Dan’s voice was soft now and I shook my head, not looking at him.
‘I’m not.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes.
Maybe.
I returned my concentration to my phone. ‘Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me!’ I was staring at the laughing face emoticon put in the comments to the elf picture by one of my ex-colleagues at the Formula One team.
Dan leant over. ‘Ooh … shared. Good advertising. Well done, Lex.’
‘Nooo, it’s not! Sodding Facebook. All it’s done is advertised what an idiot I look. That’s now popping up on the timeline of various team members, other teams, and drivers! I’m a bloody laughing stock!’
Dan wrapped an arm around me. ‘No, you’re not.’
‘No one who sees that will ever take me seriously.’
‘It’s Christmas and you’re helping out your family. You’re dressed as an elf, Lex. It could certainly be worse.’
‘How could it possibly be worse?’
‘Oh, talk of the devil. Here comes Cal.’
Great. It just got worse.
‘Hello.’
I waved a large-gloved hand. ‘Hi.’
‘Hey, Dan, how are you?’ Cal and my brother shook hands as I glanced back towards the shop front, wondering if I could make a run for it. My gaze drifted down to my oversized, curly-toed shoes. Running was most definitely out of the question.
‘Lexi!’ George appeared from a group of children and came charging towards me. Instinctively, I bent down and caught him, lifting him up and swinging him around for a moment before popping him back down. His cherubic little cheeks were rosy from the cold and excitement and his bobble hat kept slipping a little over his eyes. Cal bent and tugged the hat back a bit.
‘You look like a real elf!’
‘What makes you think I’m not a real one?’
George giggled. ‘You’re too big.’
‘I’ll have you know that Father Christmas likes all sorts of shapes and sizes when it comes to elves, just as he should.’
‘But you don’t have a beard.’
‘That’s because I’m a girl.’
He thought about that one for a minute, then shook his head, still giggling. ‘I don’t really think you’re an elf but I like that you look like one.’
Dan crouched down to join us. ‘I heard a rumour –’
I shot him a glance and beneath the fake facial hair I could see the lines around his eyes crinkle.
‘– that the elves inside the shop have some free cake and biscuits. Do you want to come and see if that’s true?’
George looked up at his dad. Cal nodded. ‘I’ll be in in a minute.’
Dan bent down. ‘It’s kind of