In her mind, Dillon’s friendship and trust had died along with her marriage. Maybe that was irrational thinking, but that was how she felt. And so far he’d given her no valid reason to resurrect that friendship. Suddenly her thoughts jumped to her daughter, and she flinched inwardly.
He ran Robin’s school. She couldn’t avoid him indefinitely. Even if that was what she wanted, it wasn’t realistic. So where did that leave them? She didn’t know, and she didn’t think he knew, either.
“Janey?”
His gruff-sounding voice drew her back. For a second, their eyes held, and her breathing increased.
His dark lashes hid his thoughts, but she couldn’t suppress the shiver of apprehension that went through her. And annoyance, too, that he had the power to disturb her with those intense looks. Not sexually, she assured herself, but she couldn’t deny that she was seeing Dillon in a new and different light.
Dillon coughed lightly. “Your coffee’s getting cold.”
“I don’t care.”
“Fine,” he said, reaching for his cup and taking a healthy drink from it, though he never took his eyes off her face.
Janey felt herself flush. But she didn’t turn away. She wasn’t about to let him get the better of her. Maybe it would be a good thing if they did, indeed, clear the air between them. Then she could go on with her life and he could go on with his. And when she saw him again, it wouldn’t be such an awkward event.
“You have to know how difficult this is for me,” Janey finally said into what seemed a hostile silence.
Dillon blew out a breath. “It’s not exactly a piece of cake for me.”
“No, I’m sure it isn’t.” She paused. “For a while, I thought it might be a good idea for us to talk about the past, about what happened that awful afternoon. But I’ve changed my mind. I don’t think it would be productive at all. I want to go back to the shop.”
“No.”
Janey gave him an indignant look. “No?”
“Of course I’ll take you back if you really want to go,” he said in an irritated tone, “but I’d rather we got some things off our chests.”
“Like I just said, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“God, I don’t remember your being this stubborn.”
“You didn’t know me that well.”
“Oh, I think I did. After all, our families spent just about every weekend together, plus a lot of time during the week.”
“So what’s your point?” she demanded, digging her teeth into her bottom lip. She didn’t want to do this, so why was she letting him bully her this way?
“My point is that I get the idea you blame me for what happened.”
Janey took a deep, shuddering breath, then stared at him. Did she somehow blame him? Was that the reason she felt so antagonistic toward him and uncomfortable around him? “Maybe I do.”
“Why, for chrissake?”
“If you’d been a better husband to Elaine, paid more attention to her, then maybe she wouldn’t have gone after Keith.”
He laughed a mirthless laugh. “Surely you don’t really think that?”
“You asked how I felt.”
“I could say the same about you, that you should’ve been a better wife, then he wouldn’t have wanted to stray.”
“Damn you, I was a good wife! And you know that.” She felt tears sting the back of her eyelids and turned away, horrified that he would see them.
“Look, I’m sorry.”
She whipped her head back toward him. “That’s not good enough.”
“We both know that we could sit here and throw blame around until doomsday,” he said in a softer and more conciliatory tone. “But what good would it do? We both have to move on.”
“Have you?” she snapped. “Moved on, I mean?”
“Have I healed completely? No. And I probably never will, but I’m not letting what Elaine and Keith did sour the rest of my life. You can bet on that.”
“I’m not, either.”
“Then prove it by calling a truce with me, if only for old times’ sake.”
“I was thinking more about Robin’s sake.”
“Certainly that, too. Whatever works.”
“We could just avoid each other, you know, like we’ve done for the past few years.”
“Only because you left town,” Dillon said bluntly.
Janey stared down at her now-cold coffee, then back at him. “And I’m not sure it was a smart move to come back.”
“Why did you?”
“Robin.” She paused, then went on. “You knew we went to Colorado at my brother’s insistence.”
“Allie told me.”
“Since our parents’ deaths, I always turned to Drew when the going got tough. I was so sure that being near him was the answer. But Robin was never happy there, though Drew did everything in his power to make us both feel at home.”
“What about you?” Dillon asked. “Were you happy?”
“Not at first, of course. Keith’s betrayal was still too fresh, and I was miserable.”
“I know that feeling,” Dillon admitted grimly.
She picked up on the pain mixed with bitterness, and questioned his honesty. Had he moved on, or was he kidding himself? Was he still harboring the pain of the past, the same way she was? Fearful of getting involved, she refused to dwell on his feelings.
“However,” she said in a rush, “I was able to use my marketing degree and get a really good job with a department store as their head buyer.”
“That’s great.”
“It was, up to a point. But I wanted to spend more time with Robin than the job would allow, so I was torn.”
“Still, you wouldn’t have left.”
“Probably not. Returning to Hunter wasn’t easy.”
“How did Robin persuade you?”
“She whined a lot.”
Dillon chuckled, which seemed to cut the thickness in the air in half. She released a pent-up breath. Maybe she would survive this ordeal, after all.
“That’s not exactly true,” she continued. “Though Robin did pull several ‘poor me’ stunts. Really, I guess Aunt Lois was the key.”
Dillon’s eyebrows lifted. “Ah, I’m starting to get it. Lois owned Sweet Dreams.”
“Right, but she wanted to retire. So one day, out of the blue, she called and asked if I wanted to take over the shop, said that it was mine. The catch was, I had to come back and run it.” Recalling that conversation, Janey’s lips eased into a smile. “Anyhow, Robin talked me into it, only I couldn’t sell the house or walk away from my job responsibilities at that point.”
“So you sent Robin on.”
“I did, which was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But she missed her friends badly and wanted to try out for that blasted drill team, so she talked me into letting her come ahead and live with Aunt Lois.” Janey paused, noticing that it had started to rain outside.
“Go on,” Dillon prodded.