‘Do you know what that is?’
I shook my head and laughed. ‘No! Not exactly. I studied literature, but I’d really just be happy to do something that made me feel … uplifted. It doesn’t have to be something incredible like being a paramedic, but something fun. Something … positive. That probably sounds strange. Sorry.’
‘No, it doesn’t.’
Luke’s mouth curled up as if he was thinking about something and he drummed his fingers on his arm. I wondered if it was a habit that might become annoying, then decided that it wasn’t. And that I was getting ahead of myself.
‘I know this might sound a bit weird, but if you really want a change, my mum could do with an extra pair of hands in the family business. It’s a florist.’
A florist? I faltered. I thought about it. I supposed it could be rather lovely working with flowers. Apart from condolence ones, presumably. I had always loved flowers, but I was relatively clueless about the different kinds.
‘Think about it,’ Luke said. He added a casual shrug. ‘It’s in the centre of town and the pay isn’t bad at all. I know my mum could do with some help, so if you’re really pushed, it’s an option.’
‘Okay. Thanks. That’s really kind of you.’
‘I’m not being kind, if I’m honest. The job is real, but I’m also trying to engineer a situation where you won’t be able to reject my advances so easily.’
That lovely smile again. I was seriously in danger of becoming smitten with Luke Harte.
‘I should go … Dee’s calling me over …’ My voice registered my regret.
Luke stopped me by taking my hand. ‘Listen. Stripes. You’re the most fascinating girl I’ve met in ages. You’re funny, you’re super-organised – which I love, incidentally – and you’re beautiful. Quirky-beautiful. That’s the best kind, by the way.’
That did it for me. Luke Harte was too much for me. When had anyone told me I was beautiful, let alone ‘quirky-beautiful?’ I was scared. Petrified, in fact.
‘I – I have to go,’ I mumbled, stumbling away from him. When I reached Dee, I stole a glance over my shoulder, my heart beating a bit more quickly than usual. But Luke Harte had gone; melting into the darkness like a ghost. It was almost as if our chat hadn’t happened.
I spent the next month thinking non-stop about Luke bloody Harte. About him asking me out, about me saying no. About me telling him about my idiot of an ex-boyfriend and about him opening up about his dad. I don’t think I’d ever spoken to a stranger about myself so much.
Then one day, he just turned up. Dazzling Luke Harte turned up in the little book shop I worked in, wearing his teal paramedic’s outfit and claiming, with a mischievous smile, to be in the mood for book-buying.
‘Fill your boots,’ I said, delighted to see him. I watched in amusement as he carefully selected books about caring for gladioli, the Second World War and the practicalities of owning a greenhouse.
‘Actually, I’m not really here to buy books,’ Luke sheepishly confessed after presenting my boss with a twenty pound note, with the change to go in the charity box on the desk. My boss gazed at him adoringly.
‘No?’ I said.
‘No. I’m here to ask you out again and I’m not taking no for an answer.’ He grinned. ‘I’ll stage a sit-in, if I have to.’
‘Goodness. A sit-in. How passionate you are.’
‘You have no idea.’ Luke laughed at his own awful joke. ‘Seriously. You name it, we’ll do it, date-wise. Decorating cupcakes, feeding monkeys at the zoo … shopping for clothes.’ He covered his face. ‘God. That’s how desperate I am. I’m offering to go shopping for clothes. I’m a disgrace to men the world over.’
I melted. Who could resist such an advance? ‘I’m in,’ I told him with a stupid grin. In reality, I was more than ‘in.’ I was hurtling, fast-falling, utterly bowled over. Despite being terrible at bowling.
Later, Luke told me that he had spent five weeks tracking me down, the delay caused by Liberty being sent on a month-long cruise with her least favourite aunt as a punishment for the wild party.
Our love story, as Dee liked to call it, was kind of old-fashioned. Cosy dinner dates, endless chats into the early hours of the morning. A slow, heady burn between us that had taken my breath away in the early weeks and that swiftly turned into body-shuddering passion. I gave up my job in the book shop and I started working at Hartes & Flowers. I loved it and I loved this man that had come into my life like a whirlwind, with his romance and his eyes and his words.
And at the point, pretty early on, where Luke quietly said: ‘Lucy, I’m so in love with you, I can’t even bear it,’ I felt an exquisite rush of relief. I had fallen in love with him long, long before that moment and the agony of worrying that he didn’t feel the same way had almost killed me.
Being chased by a man like Luke had turned my life on its axis. Losing him really wasn’t an option.
September
Nell balanced the notepad on her lap, but her nervous, jiggling leg kept knocking it off. She glanced over her shoulder, certain all the other students sharing the grassy bank with her must have spotted the state she was in, but they were oblivious. Smoking, chatting, reading, exclaiming over something outrageous in Tatler. The last thing they were doing was paying any attention to Nell or her inner panic. They were all at college for a meeting to collect coursework notes and information about their final year, but Nell couldn’t stop thinking about Luke. What if he woke up and she missed it?
It was a beautiful day, sunny and clear, she observed. The kind of day that brought everyone outside for a breath of fresh air and the feeling of warmth on skin. The world was still turning and she couldn’t help resenting it. Luke had almost died. Luke might still die. Yet everyone was continuing with their lives without a care in the world. Even she was continuing with her life. It had only been two days since Luke’s accident, but, frighteningly, there had been no change.
Nell made an effort to still her jiggling leg. She needed to talk to someone. There had to be someone else she could speak to rather than doing this, surely? But her closest friend Becks had moved away and phone calls weren’t the same thing as face to face. She had other friends like Lisa, but she was so busy with her shops … besides, Nell didn’t feel comfortable speaking to Lisa about Luke; it felt too personal. Which was ridiculous, but Nell wanted to keep what had happened to Luke wrapped up in a bubble, close to her heart. At least until they knew what the outcome was going to be.
Nell thought about talking to Cal. She hadn’t seen him since she left his flat the other night. She hadn’t been into college until today and she could hardly ring him at home; his wife might answer. Or one of his kids – an awful thought. He used his mobile to contact her but he had actively discouraged her from contacting him that way. Which left her in no-man’s-land, basically. Out of contact and out of control. She could try him at the flat she had stayed at the other night – it used to belong to Cal’s uncle and he stayed there a fair amount during the week, as he lived an hour or so away by car. But Nell didn’t want to approach him … it felt too forward, too needy.
The guilt about Cal’s wife and children threatened to suffocate her every time she thought about them. But Nell wasn’t