I fucked around a little. Not at first. At first it was like, ‘Let’s see who can freak out the good little Christian girl.’
Things like: ‘Hey, Baby Doc, check it out.’
I was checking my e-mail, and Specialist Turner was sitting at the terminal next to me.
‘What?’
‘Got some pics from home.’
I leaned over to take a look. On his screen, this big dick was pumping in and out of some porn star’s pussy, while another guy straddled her, his cock between her inflated tits, which she was squeezing together like she was playing an accordion.
I looked away. I wanted to say something funny or sarcastic or mean, like I didn’t care, but I couldn’t think of anything to say.
‘Aw, come on, don’t be such a bitch,’ Turner said.
I went back to my e-mail. My mom had sent me one about what religion your bra is (‘the Catholic type supports the masses, the Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and the Baptist makes mountains out of molehills’) that said I should send it on to anyone who would appreciate it.
Turner and I hooked up a couple days later, out by the laundry trailer, where there was a storeroom that was used for supplies. At night, nobody went there. At first, I felt pretty bad about it. Turner was married, had a kid, and I wasn’t supposed to do things like that. But there I was, lying on a pile of dirty sheets, my T-shirt and bra in a heap over bottles of bleach and detergent, my fatigues tangled up around my ankles.
‘It’s TDY, Baby Doc,’ he told me, sliding his finger in and out. ‘TDY doesn’t count.’
TDY means temporary duty assignment. It’s all been TDY since then, you know?
The game takes a long time to load, but it’s an elaborate game, and you never know what the Great Firewall is doing to your Internet connection here on any given day.
Finally, here’s the log-in screen, a vaguely Chinese landscape of misty, cloud-swaddled mountain peaks and pagodas. An animated warrior on horseback gallops across. Then the music comes on – a pseudo-traditional Chinese soundtrack with the mournful erhu and the twanging runs and staccato chords of the pipa, all with a heavy drum and bass backbeat.
It takes me three tries to remember my password, because it’s been a while since I played this game. When I get it right, my avatar, Little Mountain Tiger, pops up, non-magical sword in hand.
The Sword of Ill Repute is based on Chinese myth and legend – the Hong Kong movie versions, anyway. A whole class of characters comes from the twelve birth animals of the Chinese horoscope. Most people play as a variation of the animal from their birth year. So if you’re a Boar, like Lao Zhang, you have certain attributes based on your intrinsic Boar nature, plus others that have to do with the particular year you were born in, your elements, your rising sign, and so on.
I’m actually a Rat, but no matter how many times Lao Zhang told me that the Rat is a good sign –’Smart, clever, not like Boars. Boars too trusting. Too idealistic. Better in this world to be a Rat.’ – I didn’t want to be ‘Little Sewer Rat’ or what have you. ‘Little Mountain Tiger’ is based on the particular year, month, and day of my birthday, which happens to be a Tiger day. So that’s how I play, with faint tiger stripes accenting my cheekbones.
The scene shifts. I’m in an unfamiliar setting, nothing like where I last left off playing. I’m walking up a steep mountain path, animated pebbles crunching under my feet. Crows caw in the pine trees overhead. A warrior steps onto the path, Shao Wu of the Wounded Mountain. An NPC – a non-player character.
‘Halt and state your allegiance!’ says the text in the main chat window. You can play this game in Chinese or English, thanks to Babblefish translators.
I try to walk on by, and the NPC pulls out his sword.
I hit auto-attack. The music turns martial. We fight. I kill him and gain a few experience points. Then I keep walking.
I continue on the path and see, off to the left, a wooden building with a steep pitched roof and a sign whose characters I recognize: Cha Guan.
A teahouse.
I go inside.
More pipa music plinks in the background. Animated figures sit in booths at wooden tables, sip tea, play cards, eat watermelon seeds. A female musician sings a song about lovers who drown themselves in a hidden lake. I’m not sure who’s an avatar and who’s an NPC. It’s not that crowded. I walk slowly through the main room. Characters’ names appear over their heads in shimmering text as I pass. There’s some chatter about going to the market to purchase an Immutable Dagger and starting a quest on behalf of the Emperor for the Sacred Scroll of the Nine Immortals. No one engages me.
So where’s Cinderfox?
Finally, at the back, I see a male figure, hair and beard a dark, deep red, slanted green eyes. He does have a sort of foxy look about him. I approach.
‘Hail,’ I type.
Nothing.
I take a few steps closer.
‘Hail,’ I try again.
His name appears over his russet head: ‘Cinderfox, Son of the Boundless.’
‘Greetings, Little Mountain Tiger. Glad you accept my invitation.’
I sit.
‘Tea?’
‘Thank you.’
After a moment or two, an animated serving girl appears, bearing a tray with a teapot and two cups.
Obviously, Cinderfox has way more pull in this game than I do.
‘Jasmine? Dragon Well? Oolong?’
‘Dragon Well,’ I type.
Of course, the whole thing is ridiculous. I’m going to sit here and drink imaginary tea with a cartoon character?
The serving girl pours. We drink.
‘Dragon Well is good choice,’ Cinderfox types. ‘You gain wisdom and stamina from this.’
I check out my character inventory. My wisdom and stamina have increased by five points each.
‘Why did you invite me?’ I type.
‘I think we should keep our business private. Now that you found me.’
Just like that, a bamboo screen surrounds our little table.
The chat window has changed colors. The banner now reads ‘Private Chat.’
‘I make us anonymous,’ Cinderfox types.
‘Cool.’
‘Have more tea.’
If I had the ability, Little Mountain Tiger would be squirming in her seat about now. I really don’t feel like wasting more time drinking virtual tea, regardless of what it does to my wisdom score.
But I go along with it. This isn’t my game.
‘Okay, Cinderfox,’ I type. ‘What is this quest?’
‘Maybe this up to you.’
‘Don’t know what you mean.’
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