‘You’re awake?’ The man had a tray of food with him. He put it on the chair next to the bed and sat down next to her. A thought popped into Bridget’s head: you’re not Sam. The stranger brushed the hair out of her face and kissed her on the cheek.
‘Why am I here?’ Her voice sounded strange to her ears.
‘I’m sorry Bridget, I’m just trying to keep you safe. Remember, I am always on your side.’
‘I need to get in touch with Sam.’
‘I spoke to Sam. He’s going to come for you when he can, for now he told me to tell you to stay put.’
‘He did?’ She was confused. ‘Can I call him?’
‘I can’t let you use a phone, I’ve told you, they’re always watching us.’ He pointed to a camera she hadn’t noticed in the darkened corner near the window. ‘When I can, I will get you out of here to safety. I’m sorry, my beautiful girl.’ He put his hand on her shoulder; to her surprise it felt good, comforting. ‘You should eat. Keep your strength up.’
She looked at the plate of food on the tray. Whoever this man was, he knew what she liked. Lucozade was her comfort drink, her brother used to buy a bottle of it on his way home from school and smuggle it in to her if she was grounded. There was a red apple too; she loved red apples, as a child she would take out the pips and make pictures with them. She and her brother had invented their own secret language using the pips, leaving each other hidden messages around the room. There was also a yogurt with a spoon, and a chicken salad sandwich with mayonnaise and mustard on granary bread: perfect. How could he know these things?
The man smiled at her. He moved his hand around her back and pulled her closer to him, lowering his lips to hers. Her thoughts blurred: I can’t remember your name. She kissed him back, his lips were so soft and he tasted of cigarettes. Hazily, Bridget put her hand up to his face and stroked his cheek. He kissed her hard, pushing her on to the bed. She clawed at his clothes, desperate for the feeling of security she somehow knew she would get from being in his arms. She pulled her underpants off and they slipped under the covers together. Bridget climbed on top of him; the weight of his body was making her leg ache. Quickly, she unzipped her top and he put his hands on her, moving them up and down her body. God, this felt good.
As they moved together, Bridget was overcome by a wish for the man to stay with her, but somehow she knew that this was just a stolen moment, that they didn’t have much time. This man was protecting her, he couldn’t be her captor. Her whole body felt as though it was on fire. She had never felt like this with Sam. Had she?
When he was done, the man stood up and pulled his trousers back on, doing up his flies as he stared down at her on the bed. He handed her the hooded sweatshirt back and Bridget wrapped it around herself. He smiled at her and went behind the curtain to use the bathroom; Bridget picked up the sandwich, and ate the whole thing in a few bites. Leaving the yogurt, she picked up the spoon, put it in her pocket and thirstily drank the Lucozade. The man came back to the bed. He grabbed a bag from the side of the room, rummaged inside it and handed her a bottle of water. She took it gratefully.
‘I’ll come back soon. I promise.’ He went to the door and then turned back. ‘I forgot, you need to take your antibiotics, you don’t want your leg to get infected.’
He pulled a tub of pills out of his pocket and handed her two. She placed the pills on her tongue and washed them down with the water. She immediately needed the toilet. When she emerged from behind the curtain, the man was gone, along with the empty tray. He’d taken the apple back too.
Bridget ran to the door and pulled on the handle. It was locked. She sat back on the bed as a wave of dizziness washed over her. She shouldn’t have taken those pills. What was the matter with her? She had an overwhelming urge to sleep again; she lifted her knee on to the bed and started to undo the bandage. The wound wasn’t as bad as she thought it would be, it was scabbing over already. It had felt so deep when it had happened. The memory of cutting it by the river seemed distant now, as though it was slipping further and further away from her.
There was a sudden scratching noise in the room. Bridget turned her head. It was coming from the corner behind her, it sounded as though someone was clawing at the wall. But it wasn’t a person; to her surprise there was a dog sitting there. It looked strangely familiar; with its brown and white markings, it looked like her old dog, Wilberforce. He was scratching at the concrete floor in the corner, trying to dig his way out. The sound of his panting was comforting to her, like an old friend, a reminder that she wasn’t alone.
‘Hey, doggy!’ she called out.
How did he get in here?
The dog turned around and dashed over, sitting obediently at the side of the bed and breathing excitedly in her face. She didn’t know how it was possible, but this was Wilberforce, it had to be – he had a bone-shaped brass tag on his collar with a big W engraved on it. Wilberforce had died when Bridget was just thirteen years old. She was dreaming. She must be. As Bridget stared, the dog lay down on the ground and started to wheeze. She watched him struggle for breath, remembering the day they had found him dead – knocked over by a car in the street. To her horror, she realised that it was happening again, before her eyes – the blood was oozing out from underneath him. The puddle of blood was spreading, carpeting the floor, beginning to rise. Bridget began to panic. What was in those pills? She lay down, trying to steady herself, trying to keep a hold of her thoughts.
‘It’s not real, it’s not real,’ she repeated over and over to herself.
Bridget lay on the bed, red water now lapping at her sides. It was splashing on to the throw. She could taste it in her mouth as the waves got more and more aggressive. Her hands, her hands were red. Was this some form of latent guilt for what had happened to Dee? If only she had been watching, then Dee would still be alive. I’m so sorry, Dee. It’s not real, it’s not real.
The bed rocked. Bridget lay as still as she could. The sensation reminded her of when she was a child, when she used to play hide and seek with her mother. She would lie under the duvet, keeping totally still as her mother frantically searched the house for her; to this day she didn’t know if she really couldn’t see her under there or if her mother had just been playing along. The first explanation was more likely. Finally, the rocking stopped. Time seemed to stretch. Bridget cautiously opened her eyes; sure enough, the red water was gone, taking Wilberforce with it. The room had returned to normal, and apart from a banging headache, Bridget felt calm again.
She re-wrapped the gash on her leg and lowered herself off the bed, grabbing the stool from under the dressing table and taking it over to the camera, trying to stay out of its view. She got on to the stool and reached for the camera, pulling at the wire that snaked from the side. It came loose. It wasn’t attached to anything, it had already been cut. It was just for show. Why did he tell me they were watching?
Safe in the knowledge that she wasn’t being watched, Bridget grabbed the baseboard of the bed and pulled it towards her. It was heavy but she was determined. Her leg throbbed. Her brain began to feel patchy, as though her memory was slipping away. She felt in her pocket for the spoon she’d taken from the tray. She would use it to scratch a message into the floor, in case she forgot everything again. She couldn’t put it anywhere too obvious. She walked to the end of the bed and then she saw it. Her blood ran cold.
There was a message there already. Lying next to the words was a metal spoon, the end of it worn down to almost nothing. Her name was carved into the floor, again and again, the handwriting growing more and more manic as the words stacked up. She had been here for a while. She had done this before. What was wrong with her memory?
Bridget got down on her knees and started to scribble her name once more. Over and over. Her hand began to ache. Her head hurt and she felt nauseated. Who the hell was that man? The man that had made her feel so good, who she had wanted to stay with her. Who she had wanted to sleep with? She searched her mind for a name. Nothing happened. She couldn’t find it. Was he another