It is because he’s holding the child.
Her gaze met Robbie’s again as he bit into the biscuit. She looked at Drew and held out the plate.
~
Rob watched Caroline as they ate breakfast the day after his arrival. He’d experienced a strange sense of recognition, déjà vu, when she’d offered him the plate of biscuits as George had held his neck.
Something had passed between them, her eyes had said something he did not understand. Yet after serving their tea she’d disappeared into hiding, leaving Drew to take George to see his mother and Rob to unpack.
She had not come down to dinner.
But this morning she’d risked Rob’s company again. He’d entered the morning room after her and seated himself opposite her. She’d mumbled good morning as he sat, but she had not looked at him.
Rob was unable not to look at her. The more he watched her, the more he became fascinated.
Mary spoke to Caroline about a book she’d read, probably trying to ease Caroline’s discomfort through conversation. Flashes of expressions passed across Caroline’s face, but they never fully formed. She hid her thoughts and emotions as she hid herself. Her smile was tempered and frowns fleeting, and he’d not once in all the years he’d known her, heard her laugh.
Her gaze lifted and the morning sunlight spilling through the windows caught her eyes. It turned them from the hazel with a look of amber to a remarkable gold.
He wished he could make her see he was no risk, that at least with him she might be free of fear.
She looked at Drew.
What would she look like if she were to laugh, while her eyes, cast in gold, sparkled? Rob wished to see her laughing.
I will have her laughing and dancing by the end of the summer. He smiled as a sound of humour slipped from his throat. It was his idealism speaking. He wished everything ordered as it should be, and no one should feel as restrained as Caroline did. That was why he saw himself in government, because he cared about the people who desperately needed help.
Yet while he worked out how to win himself an elected seat and change the world for them, the aim of bringing Caro out of her shell would give him a purpose he could fulfil more quickly.
Caroline had looked back at him when he’d made a sound, as had Mary. He did not explain it, but looked at Drew. “Is there any interesting news?”
“Not really,” Drew folded the paper and threw it across to Rob. “It’s all gossip and insinuation. What are we doing today? Riding out? I could show you all of the estate. You’ve never ridden the boundary.”
“Your son has a prior claim on me. I promised to teach him how to bat alone, and you will need to help me with that.”
Drew smiled. “Then I’ll defer to my son. We can ride out tomorrow and I’ll take George with us on my saddle. He’ll—”
“Not be going,” Mary interrupted, “That is too much for him.”
“Nonsense, he loves riding up with me, he likes watching everything and he loves the horses.” Drew gave Mary a smile that said do not challenge me. “He is my son, he has backbone.”
“He is a two-year-old child—”
“Who has a healthy interest in the world.”
Rob looked from Drew to Mary. “I did not come here to cause a rift between you, but I’m sure George will cope. He will have the two of us to entertain him, and he will be unhappy if we leave him behind.”
Mary glared at Rob and rose from the table. “We will see. I am going to the nursery.” She turned, her skirt swaying with the movement, speaking her annoyance without words. Then she walked away.
Drew laughed for an instant, but then he rose. “Mary…”
She did not look back.
Drew’s hand touched Rob’s shoulder and he leaned down. “Do me a favour, in future do not side with me. You are her brother. She’ll hold it against me.” Laughing again, then, he walked on, while Mary made a disgruntled noise as she left the room.
Drew’s lack of respect for her irritation would rile her further and she’d be angry for a while. Poor George would have to wait for his lesson until Drew had finished patching things up.
Rob looked back at Caroline, expecting her to rise immediately and leave. Instead her gaze met his.
“I’m sorry,” she breathed in a quiet, blunt voice. “If I have made you feel uncomfortable. I will try to accept your presence here. But it is not easy for me, Mr Marlow, and I wish you would not stare at me as you have been.”
“Caroline…”
She rose, leaving her napkin on the table and her meal half-eaten.
But Rob carried on quickly, before she could walk away. “…I will be no threat to you. I am staying here only because I love my sister and I love the children. I have no desire to discompose you. I hope you will come to feel at ease in my company as you do in Mary’s.”
She nodded, slightly, but then she turned.
“Good day!” he called in her wake, feeling as though he’d taken a step towards dancing with her. It was the first time she’d voluntarily spoken to anyone in his family beyond his mother and Mary, as far as Rob knew.
~
Love. The word echoed in Caro’s thoughts like a bell that kept tolling, as she crossed the hall, then climbed the stairs. Because I love my sister and I love the children.
Love. The word had seemed odd on Robbie’s lips. Yet she heard Drew say it often, and she saw love everywhere in Mary’s extended family. But for a young man like Robbie to use the word so freely about his sister and his niece and nephew.
Even in the first year of their marriage, when she’d thought herself loved, Albert had never used that word. But nor had she spoken it to him. It was a word that had never been spoken in her childhood. She had never dared to risk the mention of it to Albert in case it had broken some spell—the spell had broken anyway.
She walked past the stairs to the nursery. Drew and Mary would be up there, either continuing their disagreement or ending it.
Caro went to her rooms and collected her bonnet, so she might walk outside. The sunshine and the sounds of nature would calm the turmoil inside her.
When she came down she used the servants’ stairs to avoid the possibility of another encounter with Robbie.
The servants’ hall brought her out into the walled garden. It was full of vegetables waiting to be harvested for the table, and rows of flowers to be cut to fill the vases in the house. The scent of herbs caught on the breeze as her skirt brushed the leaves of the thyme, mint and rosemary.
A flock of sparrows chirped riotously, chasing each other through tall beanstalks, seeking insects.
Caro walked on, smiling at the gardeners, who lifted their caps, as she had smiled at the servants who’d curtsied and bowed within the house.
She felt no unease with them.
But they bore no comparison to the life she’d left—she had no need to feel judged by them.
She walked from the walled garden through the narrow wooden door onto the lawn, which fronted the house and followed the path that would lead her about the hedge into the parterre gardens. New scents greeted her: lavender, roses and the sharp smell of the pelargoniums that grew in pots positioned along the path.
~
Rob watched Caroline from the library window as she walked the path at the edge of the lawn, heading towards the parterre gardens.