PRODUCTION TEAM
Screenplay by Dave Freeman
Music composed and conducted by Eric Rogers
Production Manager: Roy Goddard
Art Director: Lionel Couch
Editor: Alfred Roome
Director of Photography: Ernest Steward BSC
Camera Operator: Neil Binney
Assistant Director: David Bracknell
Make-up: Geoffrey Rodway
Continuity: Marjorie Lavelly
Sound Recordists: Danny Daniel and Ken Barker
Hairdresser: Stella Rivers
Costume Design: Courtenay Elliott
Set Dresser: Charles Bishop
Dubbing Editor: Pat Foster
Titles: G.S.E. Ltd
Processed by Rank Film Laboratories
Assistant Editor: Jack Gardner
Caravans supplied by C I Caravans Limited
Producer: Peter Rogers
Director: Gerald Thomas
Elke Sommer and Gerald Thomas chat before filming
Let the cameras roll
The esteemed archaeologist, Professor Crump, is off on an archaeological dig to Templeton where a Roman encampment has been unearthed next to a caravan site. Assisting him on his dig are a group of eager students from the University of Kidburn and Professor Vooshka, an attractive woman whose mispronunciations of the English language are in danger of landing her in all sorts of trouble, especially when she greets everyone with the phrase, ‘How are your doings?’
Other people heading to this quiet corner of England include Fred Ramsden and his mate, Ernie Bragg, two middle-aged men who tell their wives they’re off on a fishing trip, but it’s birds – and not the feathery kind – rather than fish that Fred’s hoping to catch. Arthur Upmore, meanwhile, is looking forward to a break with his wife, Linda, until he discovers his nagging mother-in-law is joining them. But it’s not the mother-in-law who’ll be causing problems in the Baxters’ caravan, but their enormous dog.
Two late arrivals at the Riverside Caravan Site, which is normally restricted to caravans, are Sandra and Carol, two leggy girls who are hoping to camp. Although Major Leep, the site owner, points out no tents are allowed, he’s quick to bend the rules when Sandra shows a bit of thigh, claims she’s got a bad leg and will need it massaged later. Their cunning gets them through the gates and they pitch their tent next to Fred and Ernie’s caravan, who are soon eyeing them up.
In the Lipmores’ van, Arthur is already fed up to the back teeth with the moaning Daphne Barnes, his mother-in-law; he’s soon getting the blame for the expletives pouring out of the beak of Daphne’s myna bird, and is somewhat relieved when it later escapes from its cage. But Daphne becomes a changed woman when she stumbles across her ex-husband, Henry, who’s working at the site as an odd-job man. Now with nearly £20,000 in the bank, thanks to a win on the Pools, they rekindle their love after ten years apart.
A lack of progress on the girl front sees Fred and Ernie head for a pint at the local where they learn from the landlord that the caravan site is riddled with holes caused by Roman mining; they take little notice but their ignorace comes back to haunt them later.
To liven up the site, Major Leep is planning a cabaret evening and contacts a theatrical agent for a singer. When he interrupts the conversation to talk to his caretaker about paint stripper, the agent gets the wrong end of the stick and thinks he’s after a stripper. Everyone is shocked when the dancer arrives and starts her erotic act, but while the men are lapping it up, the women aren’t so pleased. When some decide to leave they find they’re stuck to the recently painted chairs, tearing their trousers and skirts in the process.
Before the holiday is over, the old Roman mines reveal themselves, swallowing the caravans, just as it’s time to go home.
MEMORIES
‘Some times I would dress the sets and other times just be on the floor as a standby, ready to do whatever was needed. I remember working on Behind and in the scene where Kenneth Williams and Elke Sommer are in a caravan that is leaking, I controlled the drips with the use of intravenous drip feeds, like you have in hospitals. We made little holes in the ceiling of the caravan and had the drips coming through.
‘In another film, I remember having to drop ice-cream down one of the actress’s cleavage. While standing on a lamp stand, hanging over her breasts with a pair of tongs holding a dollop of ice-cream, I waited for Gerald [Thomas] to say: “Action with the cornet”, at which point I dropped it straight down into her breasts. Working on the Carry Ons was certainly great fun.’
WALLY HILL – Standby Chargehand
BIDET, CITIZEN
Played by Peter Butterworth
Seen in Don’t Lose Your Head, Citizen Bidet is the assistant of Citizen Camembert, chief of the secret police. His incompetence drives Camembert mad at times as they set out to stop the Black Fingernail, alias Sir Rodney Ffing, from rescuing the aristocracy from the guillotine.
BIG HEAP
Played by Charles Hawtrey
Chief of a tribe of Indians in Cowboy, Big Heap is an accommodating, well-spoken man who agrees to help Rumpo Kid prevent the new marshal arriving at Stodge City by attacking the stagecoach he’s travelling in. The attack fails, though, when sharpshooter Annie Oakley, who’s also travelling in the coach, puts up strong resistance, shooting several Indians in the process.
BIGGER, FRANCIS
Played by Frankie Howerd
A charlatan spiritualist, Francis Bigger is a firm