‘Na-ah.’
‘Jar of peanut butter?’
‘Food of the devil – definitely not!’
‘Shame, because that has basically been my diet since Dan left.’
‘Well, I have to say, you’re more together than I thought you would be.’
‘I did cry in between dropping Woody at school and you arriving.’
‘But you’re not crying now.’
‘I could start at any minute.’
‘Don’t worry, I’ll slap you if you do.’
I laughed. ‘What would I do without you?’
‘Don’t start – you’ll set me off.’
‘No, seriously, Ed. I needed a dose of your straight-talking no-nonsense today. Thank you.’
He grinned. ‘Any time, sweet-cheeks. So what are you going to do?’
‘I’m sort of waiting for Dan to tell me what he wants.’ Ed grimaced. ‘What?’
He shrugged. ‘Just that I’m a bit surprised, that’s all. I thought you’d be firing up the sass machine, fighting for yo man, getting a little fierce, sister!’ He clicked his fingers and fixed me with a head-swivelling look.
I raised an eyebrow. ‘Once more in English, please?’
‘You know what I’m saying, Nat. You’ve got to stand up and fight for your man!’
‘Who am I fighting? According to Dan, there’s no-one else involved.’
‘Which makes it so much easier! Think about it. You’ve been married for like a hundred years, haven’t had sex for six months.’
‘More like nine,’ I muttered.
‘Jeepers, it’s worse than I thought. You’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’, darlin’.’
‘If you’re about to break into song, I’m leaving.’
‘I’m serious, Nat. You’ve just become incredibly boring.’
‘Wow. I’m so glad we had this chat.’
He grabbed my arm. ‘I think you just need some proper time together, sweet-pea. Get dressed up, go out on a date, reacquaint yourselves a little.’
‘Do you think that’s all it is?’
‘Of course! You know I’ll have Woody any time – he is my godson, after all.’
‘Thank you. I just don’t know if a couple of dates is going to solve it though.’ I remembered the look on Dan’s face when he told me he didn’t love me any more. He didn’t look like a man whose problems would be solved by sharing a Wing Roulette with his wife at Nando’s. He looked like a man who wanted to get away. Fast.
Ed seemed to read my mind. ‘I know what Dan said but everyone says things they don’t mean sometimes. He may have thought it at the time but I’m sure it won’t last. I mean, there was a time when he didn’t love you at all and then he fell in love with you, so there’s no reason why he can’t just do that all again, is there?’
‘I guess,’ I frowned, doubting his reasoning but grateful for his attempts to reassure me.
‘It’s got to be worth a try, hasn’t it? I know how much you still love him.’ I could feel tears mist my eyes. ‘Don’t cry, sweetheart. He’s not going to fall back in love with a puffy-eyed snot monster.’ I laughed. ‘And you do look hot when you get dolled up on our nights out, so you should make the effort for Dan, don’t you think?’
I gave him a weak smile. He put an arm around my shoulder and kissed the top of my head. ‘Can’t I just marry you?’ I asked.
He laughed. ‘That would be fine in terms of the no-sex thing but trust me, I’m a bitch in the morning. You deserve better, my gorgeous girl.’
I smiled. Maybe Ed was right about Dan and me. Maybe I’d been neglecting my own husband, forgetting that we needed to go out and have some fun. Plenty of couples hit these kinds of bumps in the road, so maybe I just needed to up my game a little. I started to think about where we could go – somewhere special with history. Perhaps we could go to the pub where we’d first met.
It had been just down the road from my college in town, a dark cavernous place with a huge bar on one side and uncomfortable tables and chairs on the other. I’d gone for a drink after lectures with a boy I fancied but who spent most of the time looking either at my breasts or over my shoulder for someone more interesting to talk to. In a desperate attempt to get his attention, I’d put ‘Truly Madly Deeply’ by Savage Garden on the jukebox with the intention of singing it to him. Yeah, I know. I’m one classy chick but desperate times and all that.
Just as the intro began, he’d downed his lager and declared, ‘Need a slash,’ before disappearing to the toilets. I took a large gulp of the cider I was drinking, even though I hated it and tried desperately not to look like Norma No-Mates.
Suddenly I was aware of a guy next to me at the bar. He was singing along to the track and much to my surprise, was looking straight at me as he did. I wasn’t used to this kind of attention from men so I looked away, pretending that it wasn’t happening, at which point, he grabbed my hand and continued with his full-on serenade. His singing was terrible but I was impressed that he knew all the words. Plus, he looked a bit like the guy from Savage Garden and he grinned at me with such dark-eyed intensity that I felt an unexpected urge to snog his face off. It was one of those moments when you find yourself thinking, I’m starring in the movie of my life here. When he finished singing, he kissed my hand and offered to buy me another drink. I accepted, ordering a glass of dry white wine because I detected that my life was about to change and I needed to assume a more grown-up persona. Fortunately, the other boy had found someone more interesting to talk to at the back of the pub and never returned. I woke up the following morning with Dan next to me and a hangover of epic proportions. I never usually slept with boys after a first date, much less a first meeting, but it just seemed to happen as if it was meant to. We’d barely had a night apart since. Until now.
So maybe that was the answer. We had to re-engage with our past, to remind ourselves of the feelings that had brought us together, to recapture some of our wasted youth.
‘Thank you, Ed. I appreciate your advice and support. You’re a good bestie,’ I told him, planting a kiss on his cheek.
‘Always here for you, angel.’ He smiled.
I sighed. ‘What a loss you are to the heterosexual female population.’
Ed grinned. ‘If I had a pound for every time someone has told me that.’
I raised my eyebrows. ‘You’d have a pound?’
‘Har-de-fuckity-har. Now are we going to do any work today or what?’
I popped another brownie into my mouth. ‘Ab-fer-lutely,’ I said through a mouthful of chocolate deliciousness. ‘Fo me wha yoo got.’
Ed shook his head. ‘If only the fans of Natalie Garfield could see her at this moment.’
‘I fink you’ll find vey’d be very understanding – ’specially ver muvvas,’ I sputtered.
Ed shot me a disapproving look. ‘Are your fingers clean?’ he asked, picking up his large black art case.
‘Courth,’ I answered, wiping them hastily on my trousers.
‘Go and wash them,’ he ordered, unzipping the case.
‘’Kay, Dad.’ I carried our mugs into the kitchen. ‘Want another cuppa while I’m out here?’
‘No thanks, I’m all caffeined out.’
‘I’m