As she drove home, it wasn’t Paula’s low mood that was on her mind, though, it was her observation that something was going on with Marcie. As soon as she walked in the door, she picked up the phone.
“Hey,” she said when Marcie picked up, “mind if I run over for a minute?”
To her surprise, Marcie hesitated, then said, “Why don’t I come there instead? Five minutes, okay?”
“Sure,” Emily said, then slowly hung up, trying to recall the last time Marcie had wanted to stop by her house for a late-afternoon visit, rather than having Emily come over.
She waited until she saw Marcie coming through the hedge, then called out, “How about lemonade? I just bought a carton at the store yesterday and I don’t think the kids have been into it yet.”
“Sounds good. Did you see Paula today?”
“Just left her,” Emily confirmed as she went inside and took the carton from the refrigerator.
“Was her mood any better than it was this morning? She was pretty down.”
“The same this afternoon, but we talked a little and I think she felt better by the time I left.” She poured the lemonade over ice and put the glasses on the table, then sat down to join Marcie. “So, how are you? We haven’t had a minute to catch up for a couple of weeks now. How’d your mammogram go?”
“It was fine. Yours?”
“Okay, thank goodness, though I am not anxious to repeat the experience anytime soon.” She studied Marcie’s face and thought she detected a shadow of worry in her eyes. “Everything else okay?”
“Sure.”
“Really? You look as if something’s on your mind.”
Marcie’s smile seemed forced. “Not at all. I’ve just been very busy. Ken’s going out on his own, which means there are a thousand and one details for me to follow through on.”
Emily regarded her with surprise. “He’s opening his own company? When did that happen?”
Marcie avoided her gaze. “Oh, he’s been thinking about it forever and the time seemed right.”
Emily wasn’t buying it. There was something Marcie wasn’t saying, but obviously whatever it was she didn’t want to share it with Emily. “That’s great,” she said with feigned enthusiasm. “He must be excited.”
“And more demanding than usual,” Marcie said, her expression wry. “We’ve been looking at office space and picking out furniture. I could do all of that for him, but he insists on second-guessing every decision I make.”
“You’re not thinking of going to work for him, are you?” Emily asked.
Again, Marcie avoided meeting her gaze. “Just for a few weeks till things settle down.”
“Oh, Marcie, are you sure that’s wise?” she blurted before she could stop herself.
Marcie stiffened. “What do you mean?”
“Just that he can be awfully hard to please.”
“Don’t I know it,” Marcie agreed, visibly relaxing. “But it will only be for a little while, then he’ll find someone permanent.”
“Not if you do the same superb job for him at the office that you do at home,” Emily commented.
For the first time since she’d arrived, Marcie’s smile was genuine. “Honey, don’t you know by now that I am smart enough not to let that happen? I’ve lived with the man for more than fifteen years. I know exactly how to get him to replace me when I’m ready to go.”
Emily laughed. “That’s good then.”
“Everything okay around here?” Marcie asked. “The kids say Derek has been gone for a couple of weeks now. That’s even longer than usual, isn’t it?”
Emily’s good mood faded. “Yes, and it’s getting really old. I hardly feel as if I’m married anymore. Josh is getting to the age when he needs his dad around more than ever, but I can’t even catch up with Derek half the time to tell him what’s going on with his son, much less get his advice on how to handle it. Then when he is here, the kids have figured out how to play us off against one another because they know we never have time to come up with a joint plan. And Derek will always agree to whatever they ask, because he feels guilty about being gone. I’m sick of having to be the bad guy all the time.”
Marcie frowned. “I’ve never heard you say a word against your husband before.”
“I’ve never been this frustrated before,” Emily admitted. “I think watching Dave hover over Paula has made me realize what’s missing in my marriage. Derek is a wonderful man in many ways, but he and I simply don’t have a real partnership. I wanted that from my marriage.”
“What are you going to do about it?” Marcie asked. “Have you told Derek how you feel?”
“More times than I can count. He just keeps saying things will get better. I’m rapidly losing patience.”
“You’re not thinking about divorcing him, are you?” Marcie asked, her tone hushed as if she hated to even speak the word.
Emily sighed. “I honestly have no idea what I’m going to do,” she said. “But I’m getting really tired of the status quo.”
And if Derek wasn’t motivated to change it, one of these days she would have to.
“What about a trial separation?” Marcie asked. “Maybe that would be just the wake-up call he needs.”
Emily shot her a look filled with irony. “We’re separated all the time as it is.”
“This would be different,” Marcie insisted. “But, okay, what about counseling?”
“I suggested it, and Derek even agreed to consider it, but every time I scheduled an appointment, we had to cancel because of one of his business trips. When I pointed out to him that that was exactly the problem with our lives, he accused me of not supporting his career the way he’s supported mine. Then he had the audacity to suggest that if I hadn’t gone back into teaching, I could have been traveling with him.”
“Maybe he had a point,” Marcie suggested.
“Oh, please, have you forgotten we have two children?” Emily retorted, as irritated now as she had been when Derek had made his outrageous claim. “What are we supposed to do with them if both of us go gallivanting off all over the place? Park them with you?”
“You could have,” Marcie said.
“No,” Emily replied fiercely. “It is not up to you to raise my kids.”
Marcie reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. “Just don’t do anything rash, okay? Derek’s a great guy. You know that.”
“I do know,” Emily said with a sigh. “That’s why this is so awful.”
But more and more she was convinced that divorce might be the only way out.
Six months later, when Josh was fifteen and Dani thirteen, Emily finally called it quits with her marriage. She’d tired of the loneliness, of Derek’s long absences on business trips. All the money in the world couldn’t compensate for the sense that she was the only one truly giving anything to their relationship.
As she sat at Marcie’s kitchen table, tears rolled down her cheeks. It didn’t matter that the decision was right. It still hurt.
“I don’t know what else to do,” she told Marcie. “Am I wrong for wanting more out of my marriage? Nothing I’ve said has made one bit of difference with Derek. Nothing’s changed.”
Marcie gave her a sympathetic look. “No,” she said