Hang in There Bozo: The Ruby Redfort Emergency Survival Guide for Some Tricky Predicaments. Lauren Child

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      THIS IS WHERE YOUR IMAGINATION COMES INTO ITS OWN. It’s when you gotta be resourceful. People have been surviving for thousands of years in harsh environments and tricky predicaments and you can too so long as you make the right decisions.

      Homo sapiens is the most adaptable species on the planet, which is why we have risen to the top of the heap and messed things up for most other species. However, if we put this failing aside for a second, we can remember that we truly are survivors by design.

      We are survivors because we can…

      IMPROVISE.

DECIDE TO STAY CALM

      Clancy has a tendency to panic when in a possible life-and-death situation, but he has developed a technique to deal with this temporary loss of nerve. It involves a little bit of method acting – in other words, pretending to be someone else: someone braver. It’s not a bad trick if all else fails.

      How does it work?

      Just pick a person you admire: a superhero, a fictional character, or an expert at whatever it is you happen to be encountering. Darn it, a comedian will do if it helps you to see the funny side – just imagine yourself as someone who might be able to deal with whatever it is you are having to deal with, and sort of become them, inhabit their mind.

      This technique can be used in all sorts of situations: when one is public speaking, taking a test or exam, or about to face one’s biggest fear.

      ‘So Clancy, how did you manage to jump that roof? I thought I had lost you there for sure.’

      Ruby was impressed. She was also astonished, and above all she was relieved to see her friend all in one piece. If he hadn’t jumped, it was unlikely that he would have survived at the hands of the deadly Baby Face Marshall, but if he hadn’t jumped far enough, he would have been dead for sure.

      ‘I just thought to myself, hey, what if I was Ray Max? If I was him, I could jump that roof no trouble.’

      Ray Max was a Twinford hero: he was now the best long jumper in the whole state and was no doubt destined to become a world champion. Failure was not in his vocabulary.

      Clancy had made it by less than five millimetres: but when jumping a roof, a millimetre or four counts for a lot.

      So I’m not saying that pretending to be Ray Max will get you jumping a roof safe and sound, no trouble at all – you could end up splat on the sidewalk, of course you could, but what I am saying is that you are more likely to make that jump if you have the confidence and belief that you will. Belief is a big part of success.

      WARNING FROM THE PUBLISHER:

       don’t actually jump off a roof.

THINK SIDEWAYS

      By thinking sideways what I mean is looking at the problem from a different angle. Sometimes what seems like the natural, obvious or even ONLY solution is not such a great idea. RULE 12: ADJUST YOUR THINKING AND YOUR CHANCES IMPROVE.

      Here’s an example:

      You break down in the desert; you have little in the way of supplies and no one knows where you are. If you stay put, the question is, will anyone find you? Will you slowly die of thirst? Naturally, you want to start moving, to get back to base, to a safe place – why wouldn’t you buster? But if you’re looking to live, you gotta think again.

      Stride off into the desert, and do you even know what direction to head in? Even if you do, how far do you think you’re gonna get in this extreme heat, the blistering sun burning down? A few miles maybe, but what good is that when you need to cover a hundred or so to even be halfway home?

      No: think sideways and stay with your vehicle. It’s a shelter from the heat and the cold. It’s also a large object in a vast expanse of nothing. It has much more of a chance of being spotted than you do – you will look like an ant to a passing aircraft. Your chances are greater if you just do nothing.

      WARNING: DON’T GET IN YOUR VEHICLE IF YOU’RE IN A DESERT AND IT’S DAYTIME. THE METAL MAY BECOME VERY HOT AND YOU MAY DEHYDRATE.

      DO shelter in the shade BESIDE the vehicle until dusk. Then build a more permanent shelter in the cool to preserve fluids. If your car or plane has crashed, use the wreckage to create your shelter. Oh and keep your trap shut: you’ll conserve more moisture with your mouth closed and therefore stand less chance of dehydration.

      WARNING: OFTEN THE THING YOU MOST WANT TO DO IS THE VERY THING THAT IS GOING TO ENSURE YOU WIND UP DEAD.

      REMEMBER: Battle with instinct and think sideways, think consequences. Above all, THINK.