can do! ‘Yes, I can do it!’ in a sort of Pidgin English, popular in the Royal Navy before the First World War. The opposite no can do was established by the time of the Second World War.
can I do you now, sir? From ITMA, and one of the two greatest catchphrases from the BBC radio show (1939–49). It was spoken by Mrs Mopp (Dorothy Summers), the hoarse-voiced charlady or ‘Corporation Cleanser’, when entering the office of Tommy Handley, as the Mayor. Curiously, the first time Mrs Mopp used the phrase, on 10 October 1940, she said, ‘Can I do for you now, sir?’ This was soon replaced by the familiar emphases of ‘Can I do you now, sir?’ that people could still be heard using decades later. Bob Monkhouse recalled (1979) that Dorothy Summers said: ‘Oh, I do wish people wouldn’t expect me to be only Mrs Mopp. That awful char. I never wanted to say it in the first place. I think it was rather distasteful.’ She seems to have been the only person to detect any double meaning in it.
can I phone a friend? Contestant to host (Chris Tarrant) in the original British version of the TV quiz Who Wants To Be a Millionaire? (1999– ). Before answering questions, contestants were encouraged to firm up their resolve by consulting the studio audience or by phoning a friend who had been lined up in advance.
cannon fodder Soldiers regarded as people whose only purpose is to get killed in battle. This may be seen as a translation of the German Kanonenfutter (known by the 1840s) or the French chair à canon (current at about the same time). However, a letter from Captain Richard Pope, describing Marlborough’s cavalry in 1703, uses the phrase with confidence, suggesting that it was an established concept even then: ‘Such a set of ruffians and imbeciles you never beheld, you may call them cannon fodder, but never soldiers.’ Indeed, Shakespeare has the phrase ‘food for powder’, meaning the same thing, in Henry IV, Part 1, IV.ii.65 (1597).
(a) can of worms An unpleasantly complicated problem, as in such phrases as ‘that’s another can of worms’, ‘let’s not open that can of worms’. The image is that of opening a can of tinned food only to find that it is full of writhing maggots. So the implication is that it would be better not to look into something in case it presents unexpected problems. Probably of American origin, by the late 1940s. ‘Mr Berger has opened, in an old American phrase, a fine can of worms. He is suggesting that an impeached President, should he be found guilty, could appeal to the Supreme Court’ – The Times (22 May 1973).
can snakes do push-ups? See IS THE POPE.
can’t be bad! Congratulatory response to good news, popular in Britain in the 1970s – ‘I’ve made a date with that well-stacked blonde in the typing pool’ – ‘Can’t be bad!’ Possibly linked to the usage in the Beatles’ song ‘She Loves You’ (1963): ‘Because she loves you / And you know that can’t be bad…’ ‘Further up the pecking order is the 27-ish woman who left to set up a gilt-trading operation at a rival for £300,000. “She’s nothing special, but she’ll stay three years and do an okay job for them, and from her point of view it can’t be bad”’ – The Independent (13 May 1994); ‘Colin Montgomerie three-putted for the first time in the week as he shot a 72 for 279, but he insisted: “After taking four weeks off and tying for 17th place in America, that can’t be bad”’ – Daily Record (6 March 1995); ‘Uncomfortable parallels between Dracula and Nicolae Ceausescu, the former Stalinist dictator, meant that such a gathering was impossible in the Communist era. But now Europe’s second poorest country after Albania can cash in on the legend. Can’t be bad for garlic growers either’ – Financial Times (22 May 1995).
(he) can’t chew gum and fart at the same time He is really stupid and incapable. The most notable use of this (presumably traditional American) jibe was by President Lyndon Johnson about the man who was eventually to turn into another US President: ‘That Gerald Ford. He can’t fart and chew gum at the same time’ – quoted in Richard Reeves, A Ford Not a Lincoln (1975), and in J. K. Galbraith, A Life in Our Times (1981). This is the correct version of the euphemistic: ‘He couldn’t walk and chew gum at the same time.’
can’t pay, won’t pay Slogan adopted by those objecting to the British government’s Community Charge or ‘poll tax’ in 1990 and by other similar protest groups. Can’t Pay, Won’t Pay was the English title of the play Non Si Paga! Non Si Paga! (1974) by Dario Fo, as translated by Lino Pertile (1981).
(you) can’t throw a brick without hitting…It is very easy to do something because you can’t miss. ‘Combe Regis is just the place for you. Perfect hotbed of golf. Full of the finest players. Can’t throw a brick without hitting an amateur champion’ – P. G. Wodehouse, Love Among the Chickens, Chap. 2 (1906/1921). ‘In a Lancashire cotton-town you could probably go for months on end without once hearing an “educated” accent, whereas there can hardly be a town in the South of England where you could throw a brick without hitting the niece of a bishop – George Orwell, The Road to Wigan Pier (1937). Obviously, this is a development of what appears in Mark Twain, The Innocents Abroad, Chap. 37 (1869): ‘I could throw a rock here without hitting a captain…You’d fetch the captain of the watch, maybe.’
can we talk? Stock phrase of Joan Rivers, the American comedienne and TV chatshow host, by 1984.
(the) canyons of your mind Title phrase of Vivian Stanshall’s 1968 hit song ‘Canyons of Your Mind’ (with the Bonzo Dog Band): ‘In the canyons of your mind / I will wander through your brain / To the ventricles of your heart, my dear / I’m in love with you again.’ Curiously, the phrase was taken from the 1966 Val Doonican hit ‘Elusive Butterfly’ (written by Bob Lind, who had recorded it himself in 1965): ‘You might have heard my footsteps / Echo softly through the distance / In the canyons of your mind.’
can you hear me, mother? The British comedian Sandy Powell (1900–82) recalled in 1979: ‘It was in about 1932/3, when I was doing an hour’s show on the radio, live, from Broadcasting House in London. I was doing a sketch called “Sandy at the North Pole”. I was supposed to be broadcasting home and wanting to speak to my mother. When I got to the line, “Can you hear me, mother?” I dropped my script on the studio floor. While I was picking up the sheets all I could do was repeat the phrase over and over. Well, that was on a Saturday night. The following week I was appearing at the Hippodrome, Coventry, and the manager came to me at the band rehearsal with a request: “You’ll say that, tonight, won’t you?” I said, “What?” He said, “‘Can you hear me, mother?’ Everybody’s saying it. Say it and see.” So I did and the whole audience joined in and I’ve been stuck with it ever since. Even abroad – New Zealand, South Africa, Rhodesia, they’ve all heard it. I’m not saying it was the first radio catchphrase – they were all trying them out – but it was the first to catch on.’
can you tell Stork from butter? Slogan for Stork margarine in the UK from circa 1956. One of the earliest slogans on British commercial TV, it was invariably alluded to in parodies of TV advertising. In the original ads, housewives were shown taking part in comparative tests and tasting pieces of bread spread with either real butter or with Stork.
captains courageous The phrase comes from a ballad, ‘Mary Ambree’, included in Thomas Percy’s Reliques (1765): ‘When captains courageous whom death could not daunt, / Did march to the siege of the city of Gaunt, / They mustered their soldiers by two and by three, / And the foremost in battle was Mary Ambree.’ Hence, Captains Courageous, title of a novel (1897) by Rudyard Kipling.
captains of industry Prominent figures in business and commerce. ‘Captains of Industry’ was a heading in Thomas Carlyle’s Past and Present (1843). ‘A hardnosed captain of industry who wanted a pretty mannequin from tidewater aristocracy’ – D. Anthony, Long Hard Cure (1979); ‘So where are the captains of industry, the entrepreneurs and knights of yesteryear – the modern