Wow. Cutting, and what’s worse is, I can’t really defend that, can I?
‘That’s a bit harsh,’ Jason says.
I forgot to pick Elle up. Twice. It was daylight hours, but I can’t help feeling she’s unfairly putting the blame on Ruth. Caroline was like Elle. Headstrong and with the sense of arrogance that comes with being young and feeling like you’re invincible. Ruth had told her to call when she needed a lift and Caroline hadn’t. It was that simple and that tragic. Something that could happen to anyone.
‘That’s hardly fair, Elle,’ I say.
She looks at me and then back to the tablet screen. She clicks on another news story, indifferent. ‘Truth hurts.’
She heads back to the living room.
Jason gives me a look.
‘I guess I deserved that.’
‘No, she’s out of line.’
I shake my head. ‘I forgot her and she walked along the Linkway. What if—’
‘She was fine, Charlotte. You’re being too hard on yourself.’
‘How can I make this up to her?’
He smiled. ‘Well, she’s been banging on about driving lessons.’
I cast him a look.
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to trivialise anything.’
‘And I’m certainly not buying an apology out of her.’
I drop what remains of my slice of pizza in the bin and stare at the laundry basket, still sitting there from this morning. I begin to sort it, wanting to do anything to take my mind off the situation.
‘Speaking of her birthday,’ he says, ‘I’ve been meaning to ask you what I can get her.’
First Dale, now Jason. I don’t answer him.
I do get the feeling this is leading to something else. I look at him and see an unsettled look pass over his face. I stop putting clothes into the machine.
‘Is there something wrong?’
Jason looks at me abruptly.
‘Because this is starting to feel weird.’
He leans against the kitchen table and I can see the reluctance in his whole body. His shoulders are hunched over, the outline of his sharp shoulder blades protruding through his thin grey T-shirt. He looks over at me and I raise my eyebrows.
‘What’s wrong?’
His blue eyes are partially hidden by strands of dark-brown hair, which fall into his eyes. He sweeps them back before he speaks.
‘This is a bit weird for me. I mean . . .’ he says, suddenly more animated, placing his beer bottle down on the table. ‘Iain had to explain to me that this isn’t the first time stuff’s been left outside the house. He said there was an incident last week.’
My face screws up in confusion, but it’s brief, fleeting, because I know almost in an instant what he’s talking about. Who he’s talking about.
Her.
Ruby Tate.
‘Shit,’ I say, easing myself back to sit on the floor, one of Iain’s dirty work T-shirts still in my hand.
A silence hangs heavy in the air between us. Jason doesn’t know what to do. He looks out of his depth. He’s not used to being around me like this, in this setting.
He edges closer to me after a few moments have passed. ‘You OK?’
I look at him. ‘What was it this time?’
‘A note.’ He pauses. ‘It was insulting, aimed at you.’
‘Is that all?’ I say, slightly relieved. Confusion crosses his face. ‘Last week it was dog shit through the letterbox,’ I clarify.
‘Oh.’ He scratches his head. ‘I had no idea.’ He reaches forward, offering his hand, and I take it, let him pull me up from the floor. Once on my feet, he shoves both hands in the pockets of his jeans. ‘Iain’s never said anything about this woman before.’
A thought rushes through my head then. ‘Did Elle read it?’
‘No. No, I scrunched it up, hid it in my pocket until she was inside the house.’
‘Do you still have it?’
He shook his head. ‘Iain took it, but he filled me in on a few things. He’s worried about you, Charlotte. He said he’d be showing the police.’
I shake my head. ‘I don’t want him doing that. It’s nothing really. Nothing we can’t handle.’
‘Didn’t look like nothing.’
‘There’s no need for concern.’
‘Charlotte, Iain said it was best that I was here to watch Elle. He obviously doesn’t think this is nothing.’
I turn to him. I’m mortified. ‘Look after Elle? Why, did Ruby threaten my daughter?’
‘What?’ His face screws up. ‘No, God, no, but given that you’d . . .’ He trails off.
‘Given that I’d forgotten my daughter, Iain wanted you to watch her until I got home.’
He nodded.
‘Iain mentioned the charity fete thing you’ve got planned with Savannah.’
I look at him, waiting.
‘Maybe, given Ruby . . . Maybe you should cancel it?’
I look at the floor. I thought the whole thing with Ruby wasn’t getting to Iain. He’d told me to try and ignore it all, try to move on, at least until the trial.
‘Are you all right?’
‘Don’t keep asking me that.’
Jason’s looks at me now and, as I feel tears pricking at the backs of my eyes, I realise I can’t lose it in front of him. I don’t know him nearly well enough.
I shake myself. ‘Thanks, Jace, but I am not afraid of Ruby Tate.’
‘It’s not about whether you’re afraid of her, it’s about whether it’s worth risking her—’
‘Jace,’ I snap. ‘It’s fine. I’m OK . . . We’re OK.’
He looks unsure whether to believe me or not. I sense he doesn’t believe the bravado.
I swallow hard, try to control my voice, my face. ‘We’ll be OK. Iain will be back soon and I’m sure you’ve got things to be getting on with. Your girlfriend must be missing you. We can’t take up any more of your evening.’ I smile at him. I need to hold it together.
He doesn’t look convinced. ‘If you’re sure?’
‘We’re good. I promise.’
Even to my own ears, I don’t sound convinced.
*
Elle looked crushed when Jason told her he was leaving, but after about ten minutes she’d clearly forgotten all about it.
She sits opposite me now across the kitchen table. She’s not really spoken to me since Jason left. I can tell she’s angry but I did catch a hint of remorse in her eyes earlier. I think she knows I’m being hard enough on myself and that she doesn’t need to punish me quite so bad.
She sighs as she flips over a page in her textbook.
She’s finishing off some art history coursework, while I browse online.
At least that’s what she thinks I’m doing.
I’ve