“Since they’re a mile long,” Mick said, “they’d be a little hard to miss.”
Josh lifted a brow. “She’s put together right, I’ll say that for her.”
“You didn’t have to put up with her first thing this morning.” Wishing he could bite off his tongue, Zack took a long cooling drink of his cola.
Saluting him with his glass, Josh said, “She can get me up anytime.”
“Ha ha.” Mick shook his head at the double entendre, but amusement shone clear on his face as he looked between the two of them. “You have a one-track mind, Josh.”
“And it’s definitely on track right now.”
Zack growled before he caught himself. “I hate to curtail whatever fantasy you’re indulging, but she’s off limits.”
Josh hesitated with his drink almost to his mouth. “Says who?”
“Says me. I have to live by her. I’ll be damned if you’re going to date her, dump her, then leave her to me to deal with.” Zack shook his head in adamant finality. “No way, so forget it.”
Mick nudged Josh with his foot. “Besides, he’s got his own plans.”
Zack did bite his tongue this time. The more he said, the more they’d read into it, so denials would do him no good.
Eyeing Zack, Josh asked, “Is that right?”
“No, it is not right.” He hoped like hell he sounded more definite than he felt. “Now can we talk about something else?”
“Because I can back off if you’re making a personal claim.”
Through his teeth, Zack said, “I’m not making a personal claim, but you will back off.”
Josh stared at him a moment, then chuckled and switched his gaze to Mick. “I think you’re right.”
“Are we going to play cards or sit here mooning over women?” Zack barked.
“All right, all right,” Josh soothed. “Don’t get all fired up. We don’t have to moon.”
“Speak for yourself,” Mick grumbled. “I’m mooning. I’d much rather be home with Delilah right now.”
Josh shook his head in pity. Even Zack managed a credible chuckle. “You’re still a newlywed, so you’re allowed.”
“And,” Josh added, “Delilah is enough to make anyone moon.”
Predictably, Mick bristled. Why in hell Josh continued to make those types of comments, Zack couldn’t figure out. He knew there was a time when Josh had fancied himself taken with Delilah, too, but since she’d married Mick—an event Josh had supported wholeheartedly—Josh had roamed from woman to woman with a near insatiable appetite.
Mick half came out of his chair. “I wish you wouldn’t speak so intimately about my wife.”
Josh looked supremely unaffected by Mick’s ire. “I was only agreeing with you.”
“You—”
“Sheesh, men in love are so touchy,” Josh complained. “First Zack breathing fire on me, and now you. A single man can’t make a legitimate observation anymore.”
“Zack isn’t married, I am.”
“Zack wants to be married,” Josh pointed out. “It’s almost the same thing.” Then he redirected his comments to Zack. “Is that it with Wynn? You considering her suitable wifely material?”
“No.”
“Did you really see her backside?”
“No.”
Josh grinned. “I’ll take that first ‘no’ at face value. No way in hell am I accepting the second without some kind of explanation.”
If he knew it wouldn’t wake Dani, Zack would consider knocking Josh off his chair. Resigned, he gave up with a sigh. “She was bent over...” He faltered, unsure how to explain.
Josh protested his hesitation by saying, “I’m all ears.”
“Actually,” Mick admitted, “so am I.”
“She had on short shorts—”
“I noticed that.”
“So did I.”
“Do you two want to hear this or not?” Zack glared at them both, waiting, but they now held themselves silent. “She was bent way over trying to drag a box into the backyard and her shorts rode up. That’s all there is to it. I didn’t see her whole behind.” But he’d seen enough to know her backside was as delectable as her legs.
“A half moon, huh?” Josh made a tsking sound. “And here I missed it.”
Zack gave up and explained in full the extent of his association with Ms. Wynn Lane. He told them about her family who’d soon be moving in, her brother who was built like a chimney, and her penchant for being outspoken and brazen and pushy.
“She is not,” Zack reiterated, “wife material.”
Josh had listened quietly, but now he waved away Zack’s disclaimer. “Why do you want to get married anyway? I mean, just because Mick here found the perfect woman—”
Mick growled.
“—and he’s blissfully happy, doesn’t mean we all need to stick our necks into the noose. I know a lot more divorced couples than I do happily married ones.”
Now that the cannon had been redirected, Zack relaxed and began shuffling the cards. “Dani asked me about feminine napkins the other day.”
Both Mick and Josh froze, then gave near identical groans of emotional pain. “Commercials?” Josh asked.
“Yeah. She was watching cartoons when bam, there was a commercial for napkins. Can you believe it? She wanted to know what they were for and why women who used them got to go horseback riding and climbing and stuff.”
Chuckling, Mick shook his head. “I can just imagine this conversation.”
“Whatd’cha tell her?” Josh asked with interest.
“I fumbled my way through it.” Actually, he’d made a total mess of things, but Zack wasn’t about to admit that. “She wasn’t ready to hear about the whole reproductive cycle thing—”
“Neither am I,” Josh joked.
“—so I just told her women used them like they used perfume and makeup and panty hose.”
Mick snickered. “Let me guess. She wants some.”
“Yup. So you see, this is why I need a wife. I foresee stuff like this coming up all the damn time. I mean, what the hell will I know about fashion trends for teenage girls, or buying training bras?”
Josh considered that a moment, then said, “I could handle it if you want help. I wouldn’t mind.”
“Oh God, that’s all I need! I can see the headlines now, Womanizer Extraordinaire Attempts Parenting 101.”
“A female is a female is a female.”
Mick tapped his fingers on the table. “Delilah would have something to say about that sentiment.”
Josh grinned. “I know. She loves to give me hell.”
“Girls start this puberty stuff earlier than guys, as early as eleven or twelve,” Zack pointed out. He was amused despite himself, at the picture of Josh sorting through adolescent underwear. It was a far cry from lingerie, which admittedly,