We met in high school and were part of the same circle of friends with Meg at its core. There was an unspoken rule that none of us could fancy each other, and no one had an issue with that until we started sixth form and Lewis infiltrated the group. That was when the rules of engagement were rewritten and Charlie and I were one of the last to pair off. The fact that Lewis was the catalyst might suggest his influence was a good thing. It wasn’t.
His arrival heralded the end of all our teenage dreams, and Meg wasn’t the only one who would fail her A Levels. Charlie did too, and if I’m honest, I was more worried about him at the time than I was Meg. I was no longer the person she turned to in a crisis, and I proved to be no help to Charlie either. After Meg’s funeral, he disappeared for a while. He went to work for his uncle in Warrington and when he returned a year or so later, he found me where he’d left me; still at Mum and Dad’s, still grieving, still scared to look to the future. Thank God for Charlie.
A smile creeps across my face as I watch him pick up a damp dish cloth and begin treating the red spatters on my shirt as if they’re war wounds. He has the presence of a paramedic although his area of expertise lies closer to stain removal.
Taking advice from his uncle, Charlie had come back to Liverpool with a plan. He set up his own cleaning business and I’d been helping him when Ruth stole me away to work for her. It was probably a good thing that I left when I did. As is apparent from the mess I’ve made in the kitchen, cleaning is not my forte, whereas Charlie has found his vocation. Despite what my mum might think, you don’t need qualifications to be a success.
‘What on earth’s got your mum riled up this time?’ he asks.
‘The interview. Meg’s anniversary. Hayley’s promotion. The full moon,’ I say, counting them off on my fingers.
Charlie’s quiet for a moment. Meg has that effect on us. ‘How did the interview go?’
‘I imagine that depends on who you ask.’
‘Forget whatever your mum’s said.’ He puts the cloth down and wraps his arms around me.
Resting my head on his chest, I say, ‘I’m not talking about Mum, and the interview itself went well. It might only be the local news but our services are targeted to the North West anyway, and it’s just what we need to raise awareness.’
‘But?’
‘Ruth … She all but named Lewis as Meg’s murderer.’ I’m forced to raise my head as Charlie pulls back from me in shock. ‘I know, I know. You don’t have to give me that look.’
‘Does she realise what she’s done?’ Charlie asks, as if the retribution I’ve been fearing is all but guaranteed.
‘I think Geoff will have driven home that message. I saw them having words after the TV crew had wrapped up,’ I tell him. I’d watched them in their glass-fronted corner office and I didn’t need to hear what was said to know it was a heated discussion. ‘She’s been so careful in the past, wording everything perfectly in case Lewis decided to sue us for slander and close us down. But we’re so close to closing down anyway and Ruth let her frustration get the better of her. It could have been worse. There was a moment when I thought she was going to mention the note.’
Charlie backs away. ‘But she didn’t?’
The loss of Charlie’s warm embrace sends a shiver down my spine. ‘No, but she did mention abuse and she did mention a boyfriend,’ I reply as a knot of anxiety tightens in my chest.
I don’t want to be scared of Lewis; he doesn’t deserve one drop of my emotions but it’s difficult when you don’t know, and have never known, exactly who you’re dealing with. As a newcomer to our school, we knew only the rumours about Lewis’s past. He played up his tough, macho image to assert his position in our group but there were times when it was impossible not to feel sorry for what he and his mum had been through. In hindsight, that vulnerability was an artifice, and the only thing about Lewis that was indisputable was the terrible effect he had on Meg.
‘I don’t blame Ruth. People deserve to know what he did,’ I continue. ‘It doesn’t matter what the police found or didn’t find, Lewis was there that day, the missing note proves it. Meg could have been alive when he got there for all we know. He might have bullied her into doing it. What gets me most is that he was callous enough to just leave her hanging there. Can you imagine?’
‘Don’t,’ Charlie says, his hand trembling as he wipes away a fat tear slipping down my cheek.
‘He’s a monster, Charlie.’
‘I know, but he’s a monster I’d rather you kept away from.’
‘If he’s still in Newcastle, he won’t see the report and, with any luck, no one will bother to tell him.’
Charlie holds my gaze a second too long. I want him to pull me close again so I can ignore the shadow that passed over his face, but he doesn’t move. I fall back against the kitchen counter. ‘What is it?’
Mirroring my movements, Charlie leans against the kitchen island, pushing his hands deep into his pockets. ‘He’s back in Liverpool, Jen. He has been for a few months.’
‘And you didn’t think to tell me?’ It’s not quite a screech but it’s close.
‘I didn’t think— I hoped I wouldn’t need to. It’s not like he kept in touch with any of our friends.’
I clench my jaw and make a concerted effort to match Charlie’s supplicant tone. ‘I was hoping he’d be in prison by now, or killed in a gang war like that cousin of his.’
Lewis was a magnet when it came to trouble. The only reason he had appeared in our lives was to escape the mess he’d left somewhere else. He was fifteen when his cousin was stabbed to death near their home in Huyton and Lewis’s mum hadn’t wanted her only child to suffer the same fate. She had packed up and moved with her son to South Liverpool, cutting off all ties with the family who accepted violence as the norm. When I heard their story, I was full of admiration, and despite what’s happened since, I do have respect for what his mum had wanted to achieve. I’ve spoken to many women who have walked away from abusive relationships with nothing except the determination to find a better life for their children, and although Lewis’s mum fled under different circumstances, she had given her son the best chance possible. Lewis was the one who squandered it.
Charlie sighs. ‘He’s back because his mum’s ill. I think it’s cancer or something. I don’t know much.’
‘You know a lot more than I’d expect considering he doesn’t keep in touch with anyone we know. Have you actually seen him?’
He flinches. ‘He’s the last person I’d want to see, Jen. I don’t want him in our lives any more than you do. It was Jay and Meathead who bumped into him, and no, they weren’t stupid enough to suggest a school reunion. They hooked up on Facebook, that’s all.’
‘And you say they’re not stupid?’ I’m managing to hold back my anger but it’s not easy. I take deep breaths as I process the news. My skin crawls at the idea that Lewis is nearer than we thought, and if Charlie’s idiot friends can bump into him then how long before I do, or God forbid, Ruth or Geoff? ‘Is he back in that flat over the off-licence on Allerton Road?’
‘No, it was the first thing I asked. His mum moved to Bootle and he’s living there with her. I don’t know where exactly,’ he answers before I can ask.
I’m relieved that Lewis is living north of the city but it’s still too close. ‘What else have they found out?’
‘Nothing really,’ Charlie tries, only to squirm under my gaze. ‘He’s a personal trainer.’
‘Successful?’
Charlie