My Dingy Internet Cave Tuesday, 2 September i.e. Day 45 of Despair
posted by MissH 15.03
Leon Naylor is in a relationship with Anna McDonnell.
3 mins
Huh… That’s funny. Because I thought he was in a relationship with me.
posted by MissH 16.05
My phone rings. And rings. And rings. It’s Steph. Then Faith. Then Gracie. I know they mean well (except Gracie, who will be not-so-secretly enjoying this) but I really don’t want to speak to anyone. Maybe ever again. I will limit human contact to only when it’s strictly necessary, i.e. my mum when I need food. Maybe she’d even consider getting a little hatch put in my bedroom door.
posted by MissH 17.14
Staring at the status as it gets more and more comments and likes, becoming more and more real as I become more and more discarnate.
I guess that explains why he hasn’t spoken to me all summer, then. How could he do this? Am I not even worth a proper break-up? Was I that unimportant, that he can just act like I never existed? I wasn’t even made Facebook official. I didn’t even have the dignity of him ending our relationship in person or online before starting a new one. I have been left in the shadows, invisible and unacknowledged.
Has he been meeting up with her all this time? All this time I’ve been sending out deranged, thinly veiled tweets that are OBVIOUSLY about him? Or posting photos that say, ‘LOOK AT ME IN THIS REVEALING OUTFIT HAVING SO MUCH FUN. I’M COMPLETELY FINE WHO NEEDS YOU LALALA’, when really Steph had put me to bed by 7 pm sobbing in my heels. Through all of that, he’s been starting another relationship? For how long? I did see her on a group shot on that day out to Hyde Park, but I thought she knew one of his friends, or something.
posted by MissH 19.36
This is what the inside of my brain looks like:
Leon Naylor is in a relationship with Anna McDonnell.
Leon Naylor is in a relationship with Anna McDonnell.
Leon Naylor is in a relationship with Anna McDonnell.
Leon Naylor is in a relationship with Anna McDonnell.
Leon Naylor is in a relationship with Anna McDonnell.
Leon Naylor is in a relationship with Anna McDonnell.
Leon Naylor is in a relationship with Anna McDonnell.
Leon Naylor is in a relationship with Anna McDonnell.
Leon Naylor is in a relationship with Anna McDonnell.
Leon Naylor is in a relationship with Anna McDonnell.
Leon Naylor is in a relationship with Anna McDonnell.
Leon Naylor is in a relationship with Anna McDonnell.
posted by MissH 21.05
It almost feels better, now that I know for certain. (Almost. But not quite.) He really has been ignoring me. As if all the other evidence wasn’t enough:
He started to ‘miss’ my calls, and didn’t call me back.
Even when I got Steph to phone him from her mum’s number, and he answered, I convinced myself it was probably a coincidence. Maybe the twenty or so times I called him, he really had been in the shower.
He stopped replying to my texts.
I was so sure they’d been accidentally swallowed into an abyss by O2. (Who I did ring, frantically, several times.)
He detagged ALL pictures of us.
I still can’t believe I was kidding myself about that one. I thought maybe it was a weird error, or his friends did it as a joke. But really, it seems like quite an extreme length to go to, to break up with someone… Surely just telling them is easier?