Get someone to go out and get the following kit for you:
* A Swiss ball. If you don’t know what this is, well, do you remember the Space Hopper of old? In short, this is a big bouncy ball, only minus the ‘ears’. It’s a great investment.
* A long piece of string—I am sure you are intrigued as to what you could possibly do with this, but it will get your waist back into shape (not on its own, obviously).
* A pack of coloured sticky notes.
* A mat for floor work or else a low-tech version: a towel
The following exercises—The Super Seven—are designed to work on your deepest muscles. You will be building your strength from the inside, concentrating on your core muscles first. They will draw in your waist muscles, tone up your pelvic floor and you will soon be laughing with confidence (I bet the doctors didn’t tell you about the ‘squeek and you leak’, did they?)—and we will get those boobs heading north again.
The exercises are also especially designed so that you can fit them into your new and ever-changing schedule. Divided into two groups—The Martini exercise plan and The Elvis (the King) lives routine—they target the specific muscles that have been affected throughout your pregnancy and delivery. Where the muscles have been stretched to the limits, we will get them tight and toned. You will be fit and strong in no time!
The Martini exercise plan
These exercises can be done any time, any place, anywhere. You are too young to remember that ad campaign for Martini, to be sure, but still the point is that you can do these exercises in the line at the bank, in the bus or at the post office—like something out of the Full Monty—or while cleaning your teeth, changing your baby’s nappy or drinking a cup of tea. I recommend you use your stickers dotted around the house as a constant visual reminder to do them, or you will get to Friday and not even have started.
Metabolic rate
Metabolism is the rate at which your body burns calories and by exercising you can increase the number of calories you burn, naturally increasing your metabolism. So if you are struggling for motivation to do another set of your exercises, just think how many extra calories you will be burning off.
The ice maiden
What it does: This exercise will give you oodles of confidence as you engage with your body’s correct posture—your posture is really knocked out of whack in pregnancy as you are compensating all the time because it’s like having a huge bag of spuds up your jumper. You have to lean back or you would fall over. Increased weight on the bust, a growing tummy—need I say more? Good posture makes you look lighter, younger and makes your boobs look even bigger. Put one of those sticky notes near the kettle to remind you to do this. If you are feeling artistic, draw a picture of a stick to remind you to keep your back straight.
1 Stand up and imagine that someone has just dropped an ice cube down the back of your shirt.
2 You automatically squeeze your shoulders together and lift your chest up.
3 While you are at it pull in your stomach muscles. Hold for several seconds, release and then repeat as many times as you need to get into the habit of always standing like this.
Squeeze please, Louise
What it does: The benefits are that not only will it help you get a toned and pert rear-of-the-year-type bottom, you will also be increasing your metabolic rate—the more toned your muscles are, the more calories the body burns. This exercise is also very simple—do it while you brush your teeth. Cue sticky piece of paper. Draw a large bottom on it and stick it on your mirror. Keep squeezing girls.
1 Stand up straight. Perfect posture please, making sure that your knees are soft (in other words, not locked out).
2 Squeeze that bum as tightly as you can. Hold. Then slowly release.
3 Repeat 10 times. As you get stronger hold the squeeze for longer.
Belt up
What it does: This exercise engages your deepest tummy muscle—it is a muscle that is like a corset and should keep everything in. Naturally, during pregnancy this muscle will have been overstretched and now you need to reel it back in. Your lower back is also strengthened with this one. You need this exercise to get back that hourglass gorgeousness. Do this one in the morning while you are preparing breakfast—go on, whack a sticky note on the cooker hood to remind you.
What you will need: That piece of string.
1 Stand up and pull in your tummy muscles really tight.
2 Tie the piece of string around your waist
3 Keep those tummy muscles tight or your stomach will cut into the string. Cruel? You have to suffer to be beautiful.
4 Breathe normally for as long as you can stand it. As each day passes, you’ll find you can do this for longer.
The Elvis (the King) lives routine
While The Martini exercise plan can be done wherever you like, the four exercises in this routine need to be done one after the other. But it will only take you a couple of minutes, promise. Aim to do the routine every day and always warm up by first marching for a couple of minutes on the spot.
When’s the best time to do them? In your downtime, as little as it is, perhaps in front of the television. Stick a sticker on the screen. That’ll annoy your partner.
Elvis the pelvis
What it does: This exercise has amazing benefits. It helps strengthen the deepest abdominal muscles, drawing in your waist as well as building strength in the lower back.
You will need: A mat or towel.
1 Lie on your back on the mat, with your knees bent and feet flat on the floor. Keep your head and shoulders on the floor and put your arms by your sides, with palms facing down.
2 Keep your spine in a neutral position, meaning in line with your hips and shoulders and not arched.
3 Breathe in with a big breath through your nose and then gently exhale through your mouth as you pull your navel towards your spine, tilting your pelvis so the pubic bone lifts and your lower back presses into the floor.
4 Hold for 2 seconds, release and return to the start.
5 Repeat 12 times. Rest and then get on with another 12.
The ‘Kegel’, don’t pee gal
What it does: Imagine that at the bottom of your stomach there is a hammock-shaped muscle that is holding everything up—boy, has it gone a bit saggy after all that’s been sitting in it for the last few months. This exercise is therefore designed to help tone up the pelvic floor muscle, or that hammock. Don’t do this exercise when you are really having a pee as you could give yourself an infection, but you could do it after you are done—just sit there for 10 seconds longer and give them a squeeze. Try a sticky note on the loo paper holder.
What you need: A mat or towel.
1 First, to identify the muscle, imagine you are sitting on the loo and you want to stop peeing—the one you are squeezing right now is your pelvic floor.
2 Lie face up on the mat with knees bent and feet flat on the floor. Keep your head and shoulders on