“Can you stay for dinner?” I found myself asking, not knowing why, except that he had helped Jenks and me, and I owed him. “We actually cooked tonight. Chili.”
Marshal’s eyes went to the top of the dark hallway. “No, but thank you. I’m having dinner with a couple of guys from school. I just wanted to bring Jenks his hat and say hi.”
“Oh, okay.” Of course he’d have friends here. I was being stupid.
I followed him to the door to see him out, my eyes landing on Jenks’s leather cap, back after months of being with Marshal. I was glad to see him, and I wished he could stay, but it was tinged with depression from the guilt that I even wanted him to.
Glowing a hot gold, Jenks hovered at eye-height beside Marshal as I reached to open the door. “It’s good to see you, Marsh-man,” he said. “If it was warmer, I’d show you my stump.”
The way he said it almost sounded like a threat, and I could see Marshal thinking about it as he slowly buttoned his coat, probably trying to decide if he was serious or not. I wanted to talk to Marshal alone for a moment, but Jenks wasn’t leaving.
Jenks suddenly noticed that neither of us was talking, and when I made a face at him, he dropped in height. “If you want me to go, you just have to say so,” he said sullenly, then darted off to leave a fading sprinkling of pixy dust to glow on the floor for a moment. My blood pressure dropped, and I smiled at Marshal.
“That was the most excellent charm I’ve ever seen,” Marshal said softly, his eyes dark to take in the limited light in the foyer, “making him human-size, then small again.”
“It’s not half as excellent as the person who actually made it for me,” I said, thinking that Ceri should get her just dues. “I just invoked it.”
Marshal took his hat out of his wide pocket and put it on. I felt a twinge of relief when he reached for the door, then guilt that I’d enjoyed seeing him again. God, how long will I have to live like this? Marshal hesitated. Turning back, he searched my face. I silently waited, not knowing what might come out of his mouth.
“I, ah—I’m not interfering in something, am I?” he asked. “With your roommate?”
I grimaced, cursing both Ivy for her jealousness and Jenks for his protective nature. God help them, were they that obvious?
“No,” I said quickly, then dropped my gaze. “It’s not that. My boyfriend …” I took a breath and lowered my voice so it wouldn’t break. “I just lost my boyfriend, and they both think I’ll jump into bed with the first guy to come into the church simply to fill the ache he left behind.” A fear that is both understandable and at the same time unnecessary.
Marshal shifted his weight back. “The guy that went over the bridge?” he asked quizzically. “I thought you didn’t like him.”
“Not him,” I said, flicking my eyes to his and away. “My boyfriend after him. Kisten was … important to both Ivy and me. He died to prevent an undead vampire from binding me to him … I don’t remember it, but I know he did. And I still …” I closed my eyes, a lump in my throat. “I still miss him,” I said miserably.
I looked at Marshal, needing to see what he thought. His face was carefully blank of expression. “He died?” he said, and I nodded, looking away.
“I think I understand,” he said as he reached to touch my shoulder, and guilt tweaked through me as I soaked in the support radiating from him. “I’m really sorry about your boyfriend. Um … I didn’t know. I should have called before coming over. I’ll just, uh, go.”
His hand slipped away, and my head came up. “Marshal,” I said, reaching to take his sleeve, and he stopped. I let go, then glanced behind me at the empty church, then back to him. I loved Kisten, but I had to try to start living again. The pain would ebb only if I pushed it out with something good. Marshal patiently waited, and I took a deep breath.
“I’d like to see you again,” I said, miserable. “If you want. I mean, I really can’t handle having a boyfriend right now, but I’ve got to get out of this church. Do something.” His eyes widened, and I blurted, “Never mind.”
“No, no!” he said. “That’s cool.” He hesitated, then shrugged. “To be honest, I’m not looking for a girlfriend either.”
I kind of doubted that, but I nodded, grateful he pretended to understand.
“There used to be a place by the waterfront that had really good pizza,” he offered.
“Piscary’s?” I almost panicked. Not Kisten’s old dance club. “Uh, it’s closed,” I said, which was the truth. The elaborate apartments underground were now the property of Rynn Cormel. And since he wasn’t a partier, he had gutted the upper rooms and turned them into a day residence for his living guests and staff. But it still had one hell of a kitchen. Or so Ivy said.
Weight shifting to one foot, Marshal frowned in thought. “Don’t the Howlers have an exhibition game this week? I haven’t seen them play in years.”
“I’m banned,” I said, and he looked at me as if he thought I was joking.
“From the Howlers?” he said. “Maybe we could just have lunch or something.”
“Okay,” I said slowly, not knowing if I could actually do this.
His smile widened and he opened the door. “I have that interview tomorrow, but I was going to go look at some apartments before that. If I treat you to coffee, will you tell me which ones are overcharging me? Unless you’re working …”
“Two days before Halloween?” I clasped my arms about me in the sudden chill. I hadn’t expected to do anything this soon, and now I was having second thoughts. I thought of backing out on the excuse of needing to track down a demon summoner before sundown tomorrow, but I had to give my sources time to work. I stunk at research, and I knew enough people who enjoyed it to pass it off on them. “Sure,” I reluctantly said. It was coffee. How bad could it be?
“Perfect,” he said, and I froze when he eased forward. Before it could become a hug, or worse, a kiss, I stuck out my hand. Marshal tried to make his shift to my hand natural, but it was kind of obvious, and his fingers slipped from mine almost immediately. Embarrassed by my guilt and misery, I looked down.
“I’m sorry you’re still hurting,” he said sincerely as he stepped back onto the stoop. The light from the sign above the door made shadows on him. His eyes, when I met them, held a soft emotion, black from the low light, nothing more. “I’ll see you tomorrow. About noon?”
I nodded as I tried to think of something to say—but my mind was empty. Marshal smiled one last time before taking the steps lightly and heading for the new-model, chrome-plated sport utility at the curb. Numb, I backed up into the church, my shoulder thumping painfully into the doorjamb and startling me back into reality. Heartache swelled as I shut the door and leaned back against it to stare into the sanctuary.
I had to start living again, even if it killed me.
The soft click of teeth on the knob of my bedroom door stirred me, but it wasn’t until a wet nose snuffled in my ear that I truly woke up, with a pulse of adrenaline that was better than chugging three cups of coffee.
“David!” I exclaimed, jerking upright and scooting back to the headboard, my covers pulled to my neck. “How did you get in here?” Pulse hammering, my panic subsided, turning to irritation when I saw his pricked ears and his doggy smile. My gaze slid to my clock. Eleven? Damn it, I had a good hour left before the alarm was going to ring. Irritated, I flicked the alarm off. No way would I get back to sleep now. Not after a Were’s