Let’s explore reality:
It’s Just a Habit
Many people justify their drinking by saying it is just a habit. And indeed, drinking may have started as a habitual routine. You went to a party and had a drink, or you got home from work and had a drink. The thing about habits is that they, by definition, encourage your brain to think less.47 Once something has become habitual, like driving or brushing your teeth, you no longer consciously think about it. This is great—it frees up brainpower, allowing us to focus on new and different things.48 So if your drinking started as a habit, there is a good chance you often drink without thinking too much about it. Over time, drinking became more than a simple habit.
If drinking was truly a habit, when I was pregnant, I would have been perfectly happy drinking non-alcoholic beers. Non-alcoholic beers tasted similar, but I couldn’t bring myself to drink more than one. It was the alcohol, not the taste, I wanted. Similarly, if heroin was a habit, perhaps the addict could shoot up a syringe of saline? With some effort, aren’t most habits relatively easy to break?
Would you allow your wife to leave you, your kids to hate you, your money to bleed away, and your self-respect to abandon you because of a habit? And if drinking was simply a habit, why does the alcoholic, who has been sober for fifteen years, still take it one day at a time? There is no other habit where this is the case.
When we give up a habit like biting our nails, notoriously difficult to do, we don’t feel deprived because we no longer gnaw on our fingertips. We don’t worry we will live our lives missing out on an authentic pleasure. We may habitually drink, but drinking is not a habit—it’s an addiction. Yet the majority of drinkers believe they drink because they want to, they enjoy it, and they choose to do it.
Say I offered you two hundred thousand dollars to stop drinking. Would you? Do you have to think about it? What about a half million? You can buy a beautiful home, but you can never drink again. If drinking was a habit, there would be no hesitation. For a half million dollars you wouldn’t hesitate to break a habit—no matter how much effort it took.49
With justifications such as these, we aim to prove we are in control. The fact that we spend so much time defending our alcohol intake proves the opposite. All drugs do this—you try to prove you are not dependent, not controlled. It is the fear that keeps us drinking, and the alcohol itself creates the fear. We fear that we will never be happy or at peace without drinking and that stopping will mean we will feel unhappy—that we are missing out. If you believe these false justifications, even after you stop, when your health has improved and your relationships have been restored, you will continue to envy drinkers. You will believe their reasons for drinking and feel jealous that they are drinking when you are not. But when you recognize that their reasons are unfounded, you’re not jealous at all—you rejoice in your newfound freedom.
Is your alcohol habit truly a habit?
“The most fundamental harm we can do ourselves is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently.”
—Pema Chödrön
You are the most awesome living organism on the planet. Your mind can do more than any computer. In fact, it creates computers. Your body is self-regulating, self-healing, and self-aware. It alerts you to the tiniest problems and is programmed to protect you, ensuring your survival. It is infinitely more complex than the most intelligent technology. It is priceless.
Since alcohol affects how your body functions, it is vital to understand how your body works when sober. When you are ensnared in the cycle of addiction, it’s easy to forget how competent you really are. You are balanced and strong. You are equipped with two phenomenal guidance systems—symptoms and instincts—which help your mind to understand your body’s needs.
Your Extraordinary Mind and Body: Complex
We learn more about the human brain every day. We are awed by its abilities, and, despite our technological advances, we cannot come close to replicating it. Your brain is capable of more in a single second than I could describe in hours. It can do more than I could ever explain because much of its power is still unknown. We know of nothing more powerful than the human brain. Astonishingly, the majority of your brain’s activity happens without conscious thought. It’s designed to keep us alive and highly functional without our direction. When we are asleep, it allows us to breathe, keeps our hearts beating, and regulates our temperature. Our immune system fights a daily battle against millions of toxins, both externally and internally. We take all of this for granted.
Your extraordinary brain is housed in a body that sustains and communicates with it. Your senses alert your brain to new information. Our abilities to smell, feel, taste, hear, and see connect us to our surroundings. They allow us to function and protect us from danger. Survival depends on our senses.
It’s astounding how far we’ve progressed in science and medicine, yet nothing we’ve accomplished compares to the miracle of a single human cell. And we possess trillions of cells, each unique. Human beings are more sophisticated than anything in our known universe. It can be argued that a human being is the apex of the known universe. It is important to be aware of how awe-inspiring, complex, and powerful your body is. We’ve been created for the survival of our species and ourselves yet with capacity for emotion, empathy, reflection, and compassion; we are able to accomplish so much more than just survival.
Your Extraordinary Mind and Body: Balanced
One of our miraculous abilities is achieving and maintaining homeostasis. Merriam-Webster’s Medical Dictionary defines homeostasis as:
homeostasis: ho·meo·sta·sis | /hō-mē-ō-'stā-sәs/ noun
: the maintenance of relatively stable internal physiological conditions (as body temperature or the pH of blood) in higher animals under fluctuating environmental conditions
: the process of maintaining a stable psychological state in the individual under varying psychological pressures or stable social conditions in a group under varying social, environmental, or political factors
Homeostasis is a vital life force. We must remain in balance to survive. If we get too much acid (low pH) in our blood, it harms our organs. Consider how we take care of a houseplant. We need to make sure the soil is moist but not oversaturated. We need to give it sunlight but not scorch it. We do all these things to ensure the right balance of water and nutrients. We as humans instinctually do this inside our bodies. We sweat when we are hot so that water evaporates. Evaporative water is cooling, so sweating regulates our temperature. When we are trying to rid our body of unwanted intruders such as bacteria and viruses, we get a fever, but not so high of one as to kill us. By heating itself up, our body kills the intruders without harming itself. When we need oxygen to feed our cells, we naturally breathe at a faster rate. All of these, plus an uncountable number of other functions, work as your body’s optimal survival thermostat, helping to maintain homeostasis.
Your Extraordinary Mind and Body: Strong
We are constantly exposed to messages from the media about the fragility of our bodies. Look at how we consume hand sanitizer by the bucket. America spends more on healthcare than most other countries, yet has a higher infant mortality rate and relatively lower