Embracing Change
Introduce yourself to the concept of change. Look at it as something positive, rather than negative. If any changes are mooted in the office never, ever, be the one that tuts and goes: ‘Oh yeah?’ Find some potentially positive viewpoint and state it.
Mastering Self-Respect
Are you stuck in a rut? Are people right when they stereotype you? How much of this problem is of your own making?
When we are passive people take us for granted, they can’t help themselves. Doormats get walked on because people assume that’s what they’re there for. If you feel you are being stereotyped and taken for granted, it’s up to you to break out of that cycle. Think about how much scope you give yourself. Do you allow yourself to change and adopt new ideas? Or are you a creature of habit? Do you stereotype yourself, sending yourself negative signals whenever you consider trying something new?
If someone shows you a new outfit do you hear yourself think ‘That’s not me’ before you’ve had time to consider it? If you turn the dial on the radio do you immediately judge certain music after only a few bars or notes and keep turning until you’ve reached something more to your normal taste? Do you dismiss things out of hand without trying them first?
Stepping Out of the Rut
To stop being stereotyped you’re going to have to change, both visually and in your behaviour patterns. To instil those changes, though, you must discover your current patterns. This is difficult because it means taking an objective peep at yourself. For instance, you need to discover the following:
• How often you moan.
• How much you gossip.
• How often you exceed deadlines.
• When you agree to do things you don’t want to do.
• If you make any ‘serial’ mistakes in your job.
• Whether you have a loud or stupid laugh or giggle.
• How much your colleagues feel they can depend on you, either to do a job well or to screw the job up.
• Whether you appear to listen when people talk to you.
• How much of their conversation you take in when you do listen.
• How much you can work on your own initiative.
• Whether you are known as any of the following:
The Office Gossip.
The ‘Mumsy’ type that everyone can take their
problems to.
The Flirt.
The Joker.
As Daft as a Brush.
Too Young to be given Responsibility.
The One that’s always down the Pub.
The Bore.
The Aggressive Domineering Type.
The Pushover.
The Nervy One.
The Groper.
The Moody One.
The Disorganized One, etc.
Offices provide just the right environment for being stereotyped. Be seen crying and you’re forever known as ‘The One that Blubs’. Lose your temper and you get the ‘Time-of-the-Month’ label. Make a mistake and you’re ‘Not to be Trusted’.
Stepping out of the stereotype is quite easy once you understand your problem. As long as you don’t swing too far in the opposite direction, that is – in which case you will no longer be known as ‘The Boring One’, but ‘The Boring One in the Red Jacket and Electric-Pink Tie’. Or ‘The Quiet One who Never Stops Talking’.
If, for instance, your complaint is that no one at work takes you seriously, then take a good, long look in the mirror. Do your clothes and hairstyle look fun and lightweight? Do you screech when you’re talking and flap your hands when you’re stressed? Do you talk yourself down, or apologize when you make a point?
How about the ‘Mumsy’ label? Do you keep a drawer at work that looks more like a medicine cabinet? When you ask colleagues how they are, do you sound as if you mean it? Do you nod too much to encourage the airing of problems? Are your platitudes growing whiskers? Do you wear floral dresses, cords, tweed or hand-knits?
There are several useful steps you can take to avoid being taken for granted:
ACTION PLAN:
1 Do something mildly eccentric or unusual:
Take up a new sport or hobby that is different.
Read something daring. If you read lightweight try heavyweight and vice versa. Buy something new. Wear a new colour. Change your hairstyle, or the colour of your hair. See every new film the first week it comes out, and go to fringe theatre. If you like classics buy Oasis and vice versa. Do anything different – but – when you mention these things or walk in wearing new clothes it’s important your colleagues think it was just a ‘so what?’ sort of thing you felt like doing, and not that it’s a life-changing exercise you’re doing in a desperate attempt to be interesting.
2 Ask questions:
For some reason people seem to like this. If not, at least it confuses them momentarily and makes them think. Ask colleagues, ‘Why do you do that?’ ‘Why do you do it like that?’ ‘What makes you think that?’ or ‘Why did you say that?’ These phrases are great because they sound controversial without being so. They make you sound like the deep thinker and philosopher who has options in mind, even if you won’t discuss them. Or they make the person talking over-explain themselves and sound like a prat.
3 Change a detail:
There’s no need to change your overall appearance, just work on a few of the finer details, such as colour, texture, cut or pattern. Parting your hair differently can be just as dramatic as a new cut. If you have long flowing hair wear it up for a while. If you have short back and sides try lengthening the sideburns. Shave off a beard or moustache. If you wear dull-looking suits try red socks or tights. Instead of the clichéd flashy tie try a pocket hankie or cufflinks or a buttonhole instead. If your desk is a barren wasteground tidy it up and buy some flowers.
Change is good for the soul, as well as beneficial to your impact at work. Your brain needs constant stimulation. For your own well-being never get caught in a rut. The worst type of stereotyping is the sort you do to yourself.
Planning objectives isn’t an inflexible pastime. You don’t have to carve your goals in great tablets of stone – but you can write them down in pencil and make improvements and alterations as you go along.
One of the great truths of life is that if you don’t know where you’re going, you sure as hell won’t get there.
Blueprints
Make a list of three types of objectives:
• Short-Term Career
• Long-Term Career
• Life
Short-Term