‘Yes!’ At least I remembered Basil’s pouches. I pull one from the pocket of my robe and waggle it in the air as proof.
‘Well done. You’d be surprised at the number of our guests who forget. That’s why I keep an emergency supply in the cupboard; I can’t see the dogs going hungry.’ Lawrence shakes his head and selects two dog bowls from a shelf next to the sink. He fills one with water and places it on the floor before taking the pouch from me and squeezing it into the other. ‘I’ll meet you back in the breakfast room.’
‘Thank you so much,’ I call after him, thinking how nice he is – nothing is too much trouble, it seems.
After Basil has finished eating and had a dash around the garden, we head back to where Lawrence is waiting.
‘Now, why don’t you go and sit down by the window and I’ll fetch you a nice cooked breakfast,’ he says kindly. ‘All the trimmings?’ I nod and grin before making my way over to the oval-shaped two-person table he’s gesturing towards. It has an exquisite festive orange-and-clove pomander arrangement set in a crystal glass bowl, and underneath the table is a faux suede bed for Basil to lie on. Wow, this place is just like a dog hotel.
Fluffing a crisp white napkin over my knees, I gaze out through the big bay window to watch the snow. It’s just started falling again, a light sprinkling like icing sugar, swirling all around as if somebody has just shaken a giant snow globe. I feel a swell of excitement, a magical fairy-tale feeling that only a pristine duvet of crisp, clean, white snow invokes. Untouched, it stretches out before me like a virginal safety blanket across a rolling field and up to an interesting-looking building with a huge circular chimney that has smoke spiralling from it up into the white sky, like candy floss in a breeze. And there’s what looks like an adjoining double-fronted shop. It’s really cute with a little white picket fence around the garden although it seems odd to have a shop in the middle of a field. I can’t imagine they get much business being so far away from the centre of the village.
‘Marvellous view, isn’t it?’ Lawrence is standing next to me, gripping the edge of an enormous dinner plate with a blue-and-white striped tea towel. ‘That’s Hettie’s place you can see. The Honey family have been in Tindledale for centuries and her father used to own the hop farm before he passed away. It was sold on, but Hettie kept the oast and all the land around it. And her House of Haberdashery shop next door, of course.’
‘Oh, it sounds fascinating! I love knitting and needlecraft,’ I say, a surge of excitement rising within me.
‘Then you should call in, I’m sure she’d be pleased to see you. I don’t think she gets many visitors – which reminds me, I must pop over and see if she needs any groceries. She does a weekly trip on the bus up to the village store, but it’s not quite the same as having Ocado deliver,’ he laughs. ‘Plus, I’ve heard she buys barely enough to feed a sparrow. Please be careful, the plate’s hot,’ he adds, sounding warm and mumsy as he places my breakfast in front of me, and for some bizarre reason that I can’t fathom, tears burst onto my cheeks. ‘Well, this is a first – I know our breakfasts are good, award-winning, in fact, but I’ve not had one evoke this sort of emotion before! Sybs, what’s the matter?’ Lawrence dips down into the chair opposite, concern darting from one eye to the next and back again, both slender hands clasping the tea towel that’s pressed to his chest. He’s clearly not used to his guests crying for no apparent reason, talking of which, a group of ramblers arrive, clad in check shirts and corduroys tucked into chunky knee-length socks (handknitted, by the looks of them). They take one look in my direction and beetle off to a large table on the opposite side of the room before whipping up menus to hide behind. Oh God! And how does Lawrence even know that I like to be called Sybs? He checked me in very quickly last night, seeing as it was so late, saying I probably wanted to get off to bed right away, and as Cooper’s wife, or ‘the funny woman with the ferret’ is what Pete called her, had already vouched for me in any case … well, it was all very laid-back. He didn’t even ask for a credit card to do the usual pre-authorisation checks in case I stayed the night, nicked all the bathroom products and coffee sachets and then ran off without paying. It’s like another world here in Tindledale.
‘Um, I don’t know. I, um, er … just feeling a bit overwhelmed and …’ My voice fades as I think of the plans, the dream I had to have my own haberdashery business just like Hettie. I rummage in my pocket in search of a tissue, getting flustered when I can’t find one. ‘I’m so sorry.’
‘Don’t be silly.’ Lawrence hands me the tea towel instead.
‘Thank you.’ Dabbing at my face with the soft cloth that smells of bluebells, I press it to my nose and inhale. It reminds me of day trips to the forest in springtime, the ground carpeted in a layer of delicately scented flowers that stretched for miles, swinging between my grandparents, one on either side, gripping my chubby, little-girl hands as they whispered tales of fairies and angels hiding in amongst the sun-dappled trees. Feeling happy, loved, and long before Luke and Sasha broke my heart. And Sasha hated those walking trips, preferring to stay at home and look at her pony annuals or whatever. The moment vanishes and I take a deep breath, willing myself to get a grip.
‘Maybe you’ll feel better when you’ve had something to eat.’ Lawrence reaches a hand across the table to gently pat my arm. ‘I hope you’re not coming down with something. If you don’t mind me saying, you do look very tired.’ He smiles gently, the corners of his eyes tilting upwards. I manage a half-smile.
‘You’re very kind,’ I say, in a wobbly voice, feeling embarrassed. ‘And I really am so sorry to cry on you like this. I don’t know what came over me.’ I hand the tea towel back to Lawrence before picking up a knife and fork as a diversion tactic.
‘Well, eat up and try not to be sad, you must look after yourself.’ He scrutinises my whole face in one quick scan. ‘And just so you know, I’m here if you ever want to chat. I’m a very good listener.’
Lawrence leaves, squeezing my shoulder reassuringly as he goes and I think about what he said as I prong a chubby sausage and cut it in two, before dipping one end into the filmy egg yolk. A complete stranger spotting how tired and fed-up I look. Well, it isn’t good, but I have been feeling so down since everything happened with Luke. And then turning into a recluse and not going out very much, apart from to work and back, and then with all the cock-ups, culminating in the cock-up-to-end-all-cock-ups, well, Lawrence has a very good point. I am tired. Exhausted, in fact, from all the worrying. Which reminds me, I must check online and see if there have been any developments in the hunt for Jennifer Ford or, indeed, Mr Banerjee’s investigation into the ‘bungling employee’.
After finishing the scrumptious breakfast, I put the napkin down, push the chair back and I’m just about to stand up when Lawrence appears again with something hidden behind his back.
‘Now, we’re not going to have any more tears, are we?’ he asks hesitantly.
‘Oh, I hope not.’ I paint a half-smile onto my face. ‘And I really am very sorry about earlier.’
‘Ah, it’s fine. Please, there really is no need to apologise, these things happen. We all get emotional sometimes,’ he says, very graciously.
‘Thank you,’ I smile. ‘Oh, I forgot to ask earlier …’ Lawrence lifts his eyebrows inquiringly, ‘how do you know that I like to be called Sybs?’
‘Well, I probably shouldn’t have been so nosey, but I noticed it there on your newspaper.’ I stare blankly. ‘The message.’ And he taps the Tindledale Herald on the table next to the pomander. I pick the paper up. ‘See, right there.’
And I do.
Sybs, give me a try x
There’s even a phone number next to the message that’s scrawled in black marker pen. A feeling flits through me. A feeling I haven’t felt in a long time. A fluttery, flattering feeling. I glance up into Lawrence’s diamanté-tipped eyes and then cast a glance around