I couldn’t. With my can of soda in hand—because I was not about to set it down—I started walking toward them. Zoe, Caitlin and Anna were right behind me. Zoe said my name, but it sounded like she was talking to me from the far end of a tunnel.
What was I going to do? Smash my soda can into his face? Kick him? At that moment he hadn’t done anything wrong. Of course that was the moment I remembered Gabriel telling me I couldn’t fight all four of them.
Suddenly, my path was interrupted by Jason. I hadn’t even seen him approach. One second I had my sights set directly on Drew, and the next Jason was there, blocking me.
“You okay, Angie?” I heard him ask the girl.
“She’s had too much to drink,” Drew said with a smirk. “She just needs to lie down for a bit. She can use your room can’t she, Jay?”
I froze. This cannot be happening. Drew could not be planning to rape this poor drunk girl. Even though I knew him to be the worst kind of monster, I couldn’t believe how easily it seemed to come to him.
“Actually,” Jason said, glancing at me. “I think Angie needs to go home. I’m going to put her in a cab.” He took the girl by the arm and pulled her away from Drew, who had a stupefied look on his face.
The girls and I exchanged glances as Jason steered Angie past us. He had his cell phone to his ear. I heard him ask for a cab.
Drew had been cock-blocked by one of his best friends. His face twisted into a combination of anger, petulance and disappointment. It made me smile.
I followed Jay and Angie, needing to make sure he actually did send her home and didn’t take her upstairs instead.
I stood at the opposite end of the hall, near the stairs, and watched. Jason held the girl up, and when the cab arrived, he took her outside and put her in it. I moved closer to the open door so I could watch him pay the cabbie and close the car door.
He spotted me before I could duck away, so I stayed where I was rather than run, as I wanted. I watched him step inside the house, closing the door behind him.
He looked at me. “Did you follow me to make sure I sent her home?”
“Yes.” I had no trouble meeting his gaze.
His fists clenched at his sides. “I. Am. Not. A. Monster.”
I tilted my head as I looked at him. “Are you trying to convince me of that?” I asked. “Or yourself?” And then I turned on my heel and went back to my new friends. Just because he’d sent one girl home didn’t mean he and his friends didn’t have another victim picked out.
And it didn’t change what he’d done to Magda.
Jason began drinking shortly after our little chat. Every time I saw him he had a drink in his hand. As the evening went on, he became more drunk and obnoxious. More like Drew and his other buddies. The four of them were laughing and being loud, and despite that, girls still flocked around them. It disgusted me.
“What’s up with him?” Anna asked.
“Me,” I said. “I watched him put a girl in a cab earlier because I wanted to make sure he actually sent her home. He saw me. He knew why I was watching.”
The three girls stared at me. I thought maybe they thought I was crazy or paranoid. Zoe spoke first. “You followed him alone?”
I nodded. “To the door, yeah.”
Her face flushed, and I didn’t think it was because she was too warm. “Are you mental? So all that stuff about traveling in groups doesn’t apply to you? Are you, like, Wonder Woman or something? What if he had grabbed you?”
I frowned at her. “I would’ve punched him in the throat.”
She shook her head. “You should’ve taken one of us with you.”
“I didn’t think of it, okay? I’m not used... It’s been a little while since anyone has cared what I do.”
The three of them exchanged glances. I shifted uncomfortably, not sure if they pitied me or thought I was lying.
“Don’t do it again, okay?” Zoe gave me a beseeching look. “If you don’t want to take one of us with you, at least let us know where you’re going so we can find you if you don’t come back right away.”
I nodded. “Okay. We’ll make a deal right now that whenever we’re together we’ll stay together.” But really, how often would we be together? It wasn’t like we were best friends. No one could replace Mags.
The girls smiled, and the heaviness inside me lightened a little. I wasn’t sure how to feel. Responsibility to another person was something I hadn’t had for months. And wasn’t Magda going off on her own one of the things that upset me so much? If she had told me where she was going, maybe I would’ve been able to help her. Instead I’d gone looking for her too late and found her in a bedroom, passed out with her panties wrapped around one ankle and condom wrappers on the floor.
I didn’t want anyone to ever find me that way.
I stuck close to my new friends after that. We all stuck together, moving as a group. I met a few more people who I didn’t really know that well and talked to some that I did. It felt weird, being social. Zoe told every girl we talked to about the self-defense course. A few of them seemed interested, though a couple wrinkled their noses at the idea of violence. I didn’t bother trying to convince them that the class was about protecting yourself rather than hurting someone. They obviously didn’t think anything bad would ever happen to them. I wasn’t going to be the one to tell them they were wrong.
Shortly before midnight I realized two things: one—Gabriel had obviously come to his senses and decided not to crash the party, and two—Jason had gone missing.
I glanced around the room, mentally counting female heads to see if anyone was absent. It was impossible to tell as the party took up most of the house.
Where was he? At least Drew and Adam were still visible. That didn’t mean that Jason and Brody weren’t raping a girl somewhere while they waited for their buddies to show up.
It made me anxious. I turned to Anna, who stood next to me, and yelled above the music, “I’m going to the bathroom.”
She nodded, then leaned closer to me. “There’s one upstairs. Use that. Someone puked in the one on this floor. If you’re not back in ten minutes, we’ll come looking for you.”
I smiled. It didn’t matter that I could probably take out one or two guys on my own. The three of them had decided that they were my protectors and that the four of us would protect each other. It was as comforting as it was annoying. I didn’t need to be fussed over. I didn’t want to be a girl who needed protection. I wanted to be the girl who kicked ass.
I took my soda with me out of paranoia. I moved through the crowd, which had gotten bigger in the last hour and made my way out to the foyer. As I climbed the stairs to the second floor, I couldn’t help but feel even more out of place. How did people get this wealthy? It was ridiculous.
My heart thumped against my ribs as I climbed. The house wasn’t evil, and it couldn’t hurt me, but every step I took away from the heart of the party, the more anxious I became. Would anyone hear me scream up here?
Every door on that floor was shut, except for one. I walked down the corridor toward it, my gaze traveling