Pear Shaped. Stella Newman

he did …’

      ‘Of course not, he’s got some crazy sexy Italian girlfriend.’

      ‘But you used to have a thing with him.’

      ‘Not at all, just a snog, years ago. It was nothing, we didn’t have sex or anything.’

      ‘I don’t believe you,’ he says.

      ‘We didn’t! We just fooled around, it was all very innocent.’

      ‘I still don’t think it’s right that you stayed at his apartment.’

      ‘Why ever not? He wasn’t even there!’

      ‘It’s just … I don’t know.’

      ‘There’s nothing whatsoever to be jealous about,’ I say.

      ‘I’m not jealous. I just think it’s odd. One of you must fancy the other one …’

      ‘Just because you can’t be friends with a woman you don’t want to shag doesn’t mean other men can’t … now please could you pour me some wine?’

      He fills my glass up.

      ‘It’s not right,’ he says.

      ‘James, I’ve told you all about Pauly. I’m being totally honest with you because I’m trying to be a grown-up. Because I like you.’

      I lift my glass to my mouth and smile, but James looks like he’s been slapped.

      ‘What? What’s wrong?’ I say.

      He takes a long breath.

      ‘What is it, are you okay?’ I say. He suddenly looks queasy with nerves.

      He nods slowly.

      ‘Ever since I met you, since that first night, I’ve felt there was something very special about you …’

      Oh my God. He’s going to propose.

      ‘And I’ve tried to keep my distance but when I’m not with you I miss you …’

      He’s going to propose!

      ‘And when I don’t speak to you, I just want to call you …’

      HE IS GOING TO PROPOSE!

      ‘But there’s a problem.’