As I climbed the stairs, I was wondering if I could steal a moment or two of sleep while Lord Golden and the rest of the Buckkeep nobility were at dinner with the Bingtown contingent. I knew I should dress and descend, to stand at his shoulder and watch how the evening proceeded, but I felt I had already taken in as much information as my mind could hold. I had passed on the information to Kettricken and Chade; let them deal with it. My dilemma with Hap still impaled my heart. I could think of no course of action that would better it.
Sleep, I told myself firmly. Sleep would shield me for a time from all of it, and upon waking perhaps some aspect of it would have come clear.
I tapped at Lord Golden’s chamber door and entered. As I did so, a young woman stood up from one of the hearthside chairs. I glanced about the room, assuming that Lord Golden must have admitted her, but saw no sign of him. Perhaps he was in one of his other chambers, though it seemed unlike him to leave a guest unattended. Nor did I see food or wine set out, as he certainly would have done.
She was a striking woman. It was not just her extravagant garb; it was the sheer scale of her. She was at least my height, with long blonde hair and light brown eyes, and a warrior’s muscling in her arms and shoulders. Her clothing was chosen to emphasize that last feature. Her black boots came to her knees, and she wore leggings rather than skirts. Her shirt was of ivory linen, and her fancifully decorated vest of soft doeskin. The sleeves of the shirt were pleated, and there was lace at the cuff, but not enough to get in her way. The cut of the garments was simple, but the extravagance of the fabrics was only exceeded by the embroidery that graced them. She wore several earrings in each ear, some of wood and some of gold. In the spiralling wooden ones, I recognized the Fool’s handiwork. There was gold at her throat and on her wrists as well, but it was simple gold, and I would wager she wore it more for her own pleasure than for show. She bore a plain sword on one hip, and a practical knife on the other.
In the first moment of mutual surprise, her gaze met mine. Then her stare wandered over me in a way that was overly familiar. When her eyes came back to mine, she grinned disarmingly. Her teeth were very white.
‘You must be Lord Golden.’ She extended a hand to me as she strode towards me. Despite her foreign dress, her accent was Shoaks Duchy. ‘I’m Jek. Perhaps Amber has spoken of me.’
I took her hand by reflex. ‘I’m sorry, my lady, but you are mistaken. I am Lord Golden’s serving-man, Tom Badgerlock.’ Her grip was firm, her hand callused and strong. ‘I am sorry I was not here to admit you when you first arrived. I had not realized Lord Golden was expecting a visitor. May I bring you anything?’
She gave a shrug and released my hand as she walked back to the chair. ‘Lord Golden isn’t exactly expecting me. I came looking for him and a servant directed me here. I knocked, no answer, so I came in to wait.’ She seated herself, crossed her legs at the knee and then asked with a knowing grin, ‘So. How is Amber?’
Something was not right here. I glanced at the other closed doors. ‘I know no one named Amber. How did you get in?’ I stood between her and the door. She looked formidable, but her clothing and hair were unruffled. If she had done any damage to the Fool, she’d likely show some signs of a struggle. Nor was anything in the room awry.
‘I opened the door and walked in. It wasn’t locked.’
‘That door is always locked.’ I tried to make my contradiction pleasant, but I was becoming more and more worried.
‘Well, it wasn’t today, Tom, and I have important business with Lord Golden. As I am well known to him, I doubt he would mind me entering his rooms. I’ve conducted a lot of business on his behalf in the last year or so, with Amber as the go-between.’ She tilted her head and rolled her eyes at me. ‘And I don’t believe for a minute that you don’t know Amber.’ She cocked her head the other way and stared at me discriminatingly. Then she grinned. ‘You know, I like you better with brown eyes. Much more becoming than the blue ones Paragon has.’ As I stared at her in consternation, her grin grew wider. It was like being stalked by a large, overly-friendly cat. I sensed no animosity from her. Rather it was as if she suppressed mirth and deliberately strove to make me uncomfortable, but in a friendly, teasing way. I could make no sense of her. I tried to decide if it would be better to eject her from the room or detain her here until Lord Golden returned. More and more, I longed to open the door to his bedchamber and privy, to be sure that no treachery had befallen him in my absence.
With sudden relief, I heard his key in the lock. I strode to the door, and opened it for him, proclaiming before he stepped in, ‘Lord Golden, a visitor awaits you. A Lady Jek. She says this is a –’
Before I could get any further in my warning speech, he pushed past me in a most uncharacteristic hurry. He shut the door behind him as if Lady Jek were a puppy that might race out into the corridor, and latched it before he turned towards her. His face was as pale as I’d seen it in years as he confronted his unexpected guest.
‘Lord Golden?’ Jek exclaimed. For a long moment she stared. Then she burst into hearty laughter, pounding a doubled fist against her thigh. ‘But, of course. Lord Golden! How could I not have guessed? I should have seen through it from the start!’ She advanced on him, completely confident of a warm welcome, to hug him heartily and then step back. As she gripped him by the shoulders, her delighted gaze wandered over his face and hair. To me, he looked dazed, but her grin didn’t fade. ‘It’s marvellous. If I didn’t know, I never would have guessed. But I don’t understand. Why is this ruse necessary? Doesn’t it make it difficult for the two of you to be together?’ She glanced from him to me, and it was apparent the question was addressed to both of us. Her implication was obvious, although I could not fathom her reference to a ‘ruse’. I felt the rush of heat and colour to my face. I waited for Lord Golden to make some clarifying remark to her but he held his silence. The look I wore must have shocked her, for she turned her gaze back to Lord Golden. She spoke uncertainly. ‘Amber, my friend. Aren’t you glad to see me?’
Lord Golden’s face seemed immobilized. His jaws moved and then he finally spoke. His voice was low and calm but still seemed somewhat breathless. ‘Tom Badgerlock, I have no further need of your services today. You are dismissed.’
Never had it been harder for me to remain in my role, but I sensed desperation in his retreat into formality, so I clenched my teeth and bowed stiffly, containing my seething affront at Jek’s obvious assumption about us. My own voice was icy as I answered him.
‘As you will, my lord. I will take the opportunity to rest.’ I turned and retreated to my own chamber. As I passed the table, I took a candle. I opened my door, went into my room and shut the door behind me. Almost.
I am not proud of what I did next. Shall I blame it on Chade’s early training of me? I could, but that would not be honest. I burned with indignation. Jek obviously believed Lord Golden and I were lovers. He had not bothered to correct her misconception; her words and manner told me that he was the source of it. To some end of his own, he allowed her to continue in that belief.
It was the way Jek had looked at me, as if she knew far more about me than I knew of her. Obviously, she knew Lord Golden, but from another place and by another name. I was sure I had never seen her before. So, whatever she knew of me, she knew from the Fool. I justified my spying on the grounds that I had the right to know what he had said about me to strangers. Especially when it made a stranger look from him to me and smile in a way so knowing and so offensive. What things had he said about me to her, to make her assume such a thing? Why? Why would he? Outrage struggled to blossom in me, but I suppressed it. There would be a reason, some driving purpose behind such talk. There had to be. I would trust my friend, but I had a right to know what it was. I set the candle on my table, sat down on my bed and gripped my hands in my lap,