Instead of taking the business of empire seriously, they seemed to live only for sordid pleasures of the most dubious kinds, worshipping at the temple of Aphrodite and calling themselves the ‘New Romans’. There were few things that still caused outrage in the temples of the Capitol, but this new group seemed intent on finding the limits and breaking them, one by one. One of the people's tribunes had been found murdered, one who opposed Sulla whenever possible. This would not have been too remarkable in itself; he had been found in a pool, made red by a swiftly opened vein in his leg, a not uncommon mode of death. The problem was that his children too had been found killed, which looked like a warning to others. There were no clues and no witnesses. It was unlikely the murderer would ever be found, but before another tribune could be elected, Sulla had forced through a resolution that gave a general greater autonomy in the field. He had argued the need himself and was eloquent and passionate in his persuasion. The Senate had voted and his power had grown a little more, while the power of the Republic was nibbled away.
Julius had so far managed to stay neutral, but as he was related by marriage to another of the power players, his wife's brother Marius, he knew eventually that sides would have to be chosen. A wise man could see the changes coming, but it saddened him that the equalities of the Republic were felt as chains by more and more of the hotheads in Senate. Marius too felt that a powerful man could use the law rather than obey it. Already, he had proven this by making a mockery of the system used to elect consuls. Roman law said that a consul could only be elected once by the Senate and must then step down from the position. Marius had recently secured his third election with martial victories against the Cimbri tribes and the Teutones, whom he had smashed with the Primigenia legion. He was still a lion of the emerging Rome, and Julius would have to find the protection of his shadow if Cornelius Sulla continued to grow in power.
Favours would be owed and some of his autonomy would be lost if he threw his colours into the camp of Marius, but it might be the only wise choice. He wished he could consult his wife and listen to her quick mind dissect the problem as she had used to. Always, she could see an angle on a problem, or a point of view that no one else could see. He missed her wry smile and the way she would press her palms against his eyes when he was tired, bringing a wonderful coolness and peace …
He moved quietly through the corridors to Aurelia's rooms and paused outside the door, listening to her long slow breaths, barely audible in the silence.
Carefully, he entered the room and crossed over to the sleeping figure, kissing her lightly on the brow. She didn't stir and he sat by the bed, watching her.
Asleep, she seemed the woman he remembered. At any moment, she could wake and her eyes would fill with intelligence and wit. She would laugh to see him sitting there in the shadows and pull back the covers, inviting him in to the warmth of her.
‘Who can I turn to, my love?’ he whispered. ‘Who should I support and trust to safeguard the city and the Republic? I think your brother Marius cares as little for the idea as Sulla himself.’ He rubbed his jaw, feeling the stubble.
‘Where does safety lie for my wife and my son? Do I throw in my house to the wolf or the snake?’
Silence answered him and he shook his head slowly. He rose and kissed Aurelia, imagining just for one moment more that, if her eyes opened, someone he knew would be looking out. Then he left quietly, shutting the door softly behind him.
When Tubruk walked his watch that evening, the last of the candles had guttered out and the rooms were dark. Julius still sat in his chair, but his eyes were closed and his chest rose and fell slowly, with a soft whistle of air from his nose. Tubruk nodded to himself, pleased he was getting some rest from worry.
The following morning, Julius ate with the two boys, a small breaking of the fast with bread, fruit and a warm tisane to counter the dawn chill. The depressive thoughts of the day before had been put aside and he sat straight, his gaze clear.
‘You look healthy and strong,’ he said to the pair of them. ‘Renius is turning you into young men.’
They grinned at each other for a second.
‘Renius says we will soon be fit enough for battle training. We have shown we can stand heat and cold and have begun to find our strengths and weaknesses. All this is internal, which he says is the foundation for external skill.’ Gaius spoke with animation, his hands moving slightly with his words.
Both boys were clearly growing in confidence and Julius felt a pang for a moment that he was not able to see more of their growth. Looking at his son, he wondered if he would come home to a stranger one day.
‘You are my son. Renius has trained many, but never a son of mine. You will surprise him, I think.’ Julius looked at Gaius' incredulous expression, knowing the boy was not used to praise or admiration.
‘I will try to. Marcus will surprise him too, I expect.’
Julius did not look at the other boy at the table, although he felt his eyes. As if he was not present, he answered, wanting the point to be remembered and annoyed at Gaius' attempt to bring his friend into the conversation.
‘Marcus is not my son. You carry my name and my reputation with you. You alone.’
Gaius bowed his head, embarrassed and unable to hold his father's strangely compelling gaze. ‘Yes, Father,’ he muttered and continued to eat.
Sometimes, he wished there were other children, brothers or sisters to play with and to carry the burden of his father's hopes. Of course, he would not give up the estate to them, that was his alone and always had been, but occasionally he felt the pressure as an uncomfortable weight. His mother especially, when she was quiet and placid, would croon to him that he was all the children she had been allowed, one perfect example of life. She often told him that she would have liked daughters to dress and pass on her wisdom to, but the fever that had struck her at his birth had taken that chance away.
Renius came into the warm kitchen. He wore open sandals with a red soldier's tunic and short leggings that ended on his calves, stretched tight over almost obscenely large muscles, the legacy of life as an infantryman in the legions. Despite his age, he seemed to burn with health and vitality. He halted in front of the table, his back straight and his eyes bright and interested.
‘With your permission, sir, the sun is rising and the boys must run five miles before it clears the hills.’
Julius nodded and the two boys stood quickly, waiting for his dismissal.
‘Go – train hard,’ he said, smiling. His son looked eager, the other – there was something else there in those dark eyes and brows. Anger? No, it was gone.
The pair raced off and the two men were once again left alone. Julius indicated the table.
‘I hear you are intending to begin battle school with them soon.’
‘They are not strong enough yet; they may not be this year, but I am not just a fitness instructor to them, after all.’
‘Have you given any thought to continuing their training after the year contract is up?’ Julius asked, hoping his casual manner masked his interest.
‘I will retire to the country next year. Nothing is likely to change that.’
‘Then these two will be your last students – your last legacy to Rome,’ Julius replied.
Renius froze for a second and Julius let no trace of his emotions betray themselves on his face.
‘It is something to think about,’ Renius said at last, before turning on his heel and going into the grey dawn light.
Julius grinned wolfishly behind him.
‘As