‘Oh, my sweet,’ he said. ‘Give me a hug. Excuse me if I don’t get up.’
She bent and hugged him. He was skin and bone; and cold, despite the fire close by.
‘Has Clem got you some punch?’ he asked.
‘I’m on my way,’ Clem said.
‘Get me another vodka while you’re at it,’ Taylor said, imperious as ever.
‘I thought we’d agreed-’ Clem said.
‘I know it’s bad for me. But staying sober’s worse.’
‘It’s your funeral,’ Clem said, with a bluntness Jude found shocking. But he and Taylor eyed each other with a kind of adoring ferocity, and she saw in the look how Clem’s cruelty was part of their mechanism for dealing with this tragedy.
‘You wish,’ Taylor said. ‘I’ll have an orange juice. No, make that a Virgin Mary. Let’s be seasonal about it.’
‘I thought you were having a pagan celebration,’ Jude said as Clem headed away to fetch the drinks.
‘I don’t see why the Christians should have the Holy Mother,’ Taylor said. They don’t know what to do with her when they’ve got her. Pull up a chair, sweetie. I heard a rumour you were in foreign dimes.’
‘I was. But I came back at the last minute. I had some problems in New York.’
‘Whose heart did you break this time?’
‘It wasn’t that kind of problem.’
‘Well?’ he said. ‘Be a telltale. Tell Taylor.’
This was a bad joke from way back, and it brought a smile to Judith’s lips. It also brought the story, which she’d come here swearing she’d keep to herself.
‘Somebody tried to murder me,’ she said.
‘You’re jesting,’ he replied.
‘I wish I was.’
‘What happened?’ he said. ‘Spill the beans. I like hearing other people’s bad news just at the moment. The worse, the better.’
She slid her palm over Taylor’s bony hand. ‘Tell me how you are first.’
‘Grotesque,’ he said. ‘Clem’s wonderful, of course, but all the tender loving care in the world won’t make me healthy. I have bad days and good days. Mostly bad lately. I am, as my ma used to say, not long for this world.’ He glanced up. ‘Look out, here comes Saint Clemence of the Bed Pan. Change the subject. Clem, did Judy tell you somebody tried to kill her?’
‘No. Where was this?’
‘In Manhattan?’
‘A mugger?’
‘No.’
‘Not someone you knew?’ Taylor said.
Now she was on the point of telling the whole thing, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to. But Taylor had an anticipatory gleam in his eye, and she couldn’t bear to disappoint him. She began, her account punctuated by exclamations of delighted incredulity from Taylor, and she found herself rising to her audience as though this story were not the grim truth but a preposterous fiction. Only once did she lose her momentum, when she mentioned Gentle’s name, and Clem broke in to say that he’d been invited tonight. Her heart tripped, and took a beat to get back into its rhythm.
Tell the rest,’ Taylor was exhorting her. ‘What happened?’
She went on with her story, but now, with her back to the door, she found herself wondering every moment if he was stepping through it. Her distraction took its toll on the narrative. But then perhaps a tale about murder told by the prey was bound to predictability. She wrapped it up with undue haste.
The point is, I’m alive,’ she said.
‘I’ll drink to that,’ Taylor replied, passing his unsipped Virgin Mary back to Clem. ‘Maybe just a splash of vodka?’ he pleaded. ‘I’ll take the consequences.’
Clem gave a reluctant shrug, and claiming Jude’s empty glass, wended his way back through the crowd to the drinks table, giving Jude an excuse for turning round and scanning the room. Half a dozen new faces had appeared since she’d sat down. Gentle was not amongst them.
‘Looking for Mister Right?’ Taylor said. ‘He’s not here yet.’
She looked back to meet his amusement.
‘I don’t know who you’re talking about,’ she said.
‘Mr Zacharias.’
‘What’s so funny?’
‘You and him. The most talked-about affair of the last decade. You know, when you mention him, your voice changes. It gets - ‘
‘Venomous.’
‘Breathy. Yearning.’
‘I don’t yearn for Gentle.’
‘My mistake,’ he said archly. ‘Was he good in bed?’ ‘I’ve had better.’
‘You want to know something I never told anybody?’ He leaned forward, the smile becoming more pained. She thought it was his aching body that brought the frown to his brow, until she heard his words. ‘I was in love with Gentle from the moment I met him. I tried everything to get him into bed. Got him drunk. Got him high. Nothing worked. But I kept at him, and about six years ago - ‘
Clem appeared at this juncture, supplying Taylor and Jude with replenished glasses before heading off to welcome a fresh influx of guests.
‘You slept with Gentle?’ Jude said.
‘Not exactly. I mean, I sort of talked him into letting me give him a blow-job. He was very high. Grinning that grin of his. I used to worship that grin. So there I am,’ Taylor went on, as lascivious as he’d ever been when recounting his conquests, ‘trying to get him hard, and he starts … I don’t know how to explain this … I suppose he began speaking in tongues. He was lying back on my bed with his trousers round his ankles and he just started to talk in some other language. Nothing vaguely recognizable. It wasn’t Spanish. It wasn’t French. I don’t know what it was. And you know what? I lost my hard-on, and he got one.’ He laughed uproariously, but not for long. The laugh went from his face, as he began again. ‘You know I was a little afraid of him suddenly. I was actually afraid. I couldn’t finish what I’d started. I got up and left him to it, lying there with his dick sticking up, speaking in tongues.’ He claimed her drink from her hand, and took a throatful. The memory had clearly shaken him. There was a mottled rash on his neck, and his eyes were glistening.
‘Did you ever hear anything like that from him?’ She shook her head. ‘I only ask because I know you broke up very quickly. I wondered if he’d freaked you out for some reason.’
‘No. He just fucked around too much.’
Taylor made a non-committal grunt, then said: ‘I get these night-sweats now, you know, and I have to get up sometimes at three in the morning and let Clem change the sheets. I don’t know whether I’m awake or asleep half the time. And all kinds of memories are coming back to me. Things I haven’t thought about in years. One of them was that. I can hear him, when I’m standing there in a pool of sweat. Hear him talking like he’s possessed.’
‘And you don’t like it?’
‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘Memories mean different things to me now. I dream about my mother,