So, for that matter, did Keitel. It took him several more years – court reporter by day, actor by night – before he finally gave up court reporting for good.
He knew he’d found something he wanted for himself: ‘I was attracted to these people who were creating stories and telling them,’ he said. ‘A powerful dynamic was going on that I didn’t know anything about. I had never even seen a play. There was something about acting that put me in touch with forces that I felt aligned to and were important to me to know, to own. It gave me hope that I could become a member of a group of people who know themselves, people like Dean, Brando, Kazan.’
Suddenly here was something that seemed to tap directly into his need to express himself, to externalize feelings that he had no outlet for. He no longer had to sit silently in court, transcribing pain and unhappiness without being able to work it out in another way:
The reason I became an actor was to get closer to the mystery of understanding myself. Acting lessons filled a need; I had no idea of anything except a need. A need to do it. I was stiff and rigid; I had great doubts that I could do this. But the need was there. I wanted to be an actor out of a whole desire to get the inside out, to express myself.
When my friends would call me ‘Hollywood,’ I’d laugh along with them because I didn’t want to reveal how much I liked it and wanted it and feared that I wouldn’t be good enough for it.
Granted, up to that point, Keitel had never set foot in a theater to see a play. But he had studied the acting of Brando, Dean, Cassavetes and others at the movies. If he’d never seen live stagecraft, he had seen Kazan’s A Streetcar Named Desire – and East of Eden and On the Waterfront. They all made an impression, shaping the kind of actor Keitel wanted to be. He knew there were untapped, volcanic emotions inside him, feelings that had been stored away for years, just waiting for the moment to make themselves useful – or to drive him crazy. Acting was a way to go a little crazy without ever straying outside of society’s boundaries of acceptable behavior.
He began taking classes with Frank Corsaro and studying at the Actors Studio (though he wouldn’t pass his audition for membership until after he made Mean Streets, almost a decade later). As a novice actor in this Mecca of serious method acting, as someone who was unsure of his ability to measure up before the gurus of the acting craft, Keitel approached each class with determination, willing himself to overcome his fears as he attempted to be, rather than to act, in his scenework for Corsaro:
I was petrified. I didn’t get up on the stage for months. Later, I used to stand outside the Actors Stage on East Fourth Street before I had to do a scene. And I used to tell myself, ‘Now all I’m trying to do is get what I feel here, on the street, in through that door, walk up the stairs and go on the stage and do it, as real as I am here.’ That was my preparation: Go out on the street and try to bring this human being in from the street on to the stage. Well, it wasn’t easy. I realized this was going to take time and patience, which I didn’t have much of.
It was a struggle. It was the same with my reading. I had the desire to learn, but I didn’t have the patience. I remember reading, ‘The reward of patience is patience.’ I wanted to tear that page up, because I didn’t have the patience to even contemplate those words. I was in a hurry to run away from the suffering that was required to sit still. I was lucky to meet a teacher like Frank Corsaro, because he was such a nurturing man; he nurtured what I had to offer.
Gradually, he began auditioning and finding work, in tiny off-off-Broadway venues. He read the show-business dailies, working as many auditions as he could into and around his work schedule. ‘Acting was remote to me and to my upbringing, my environment in Brooklyn,’ he said, ‘It was something I came to very slowly and very painstakingly, with great uncertainty and fear.’
For one thing, there didn’t seem to be any money in it. As he started being cast in small roles in one-acts at Café LaMama and Café Cino, places where the off-off-Broadway theatrical revolution of the 1960s was taking place, he still had to work full-time to pay for the rest of his life. You simply couldn’t make a living as an actor by working on the off- and off-off-Broadway stages.
According to actor and teacher Allen Garfield, a friend from those scuffling days of the 1960s who appeared with him in two films, ‘It was a gritty, very self-sacrificing time because none of us had too many bucks financially. How much did you get paid if you did an off-off-Broadway play? Zero. It would cost you money because of car fare and food. But it was our training ground. You’d have fifty plays happening at the same time. You were being seen while you were emerging.’
Keitel made his official debut in summer stock in Nantucket, where he apprenticed and appeared in Edward Albee’s The American Dream: ‘I was doing everything from acting to cleaning toilets – in other words, I hadn’t gotten paid. I acted in places that didn’t even have a name. A lot of them didn’t even have a ceiling.’
Summer stock was an American theatrical tradition. They were small theaters, usually in resort towns up and down America’s East Coast, which paid scale and sometimes provided barracks or summer-camp-like lodgings for its actors. In return for a summer of work – doing mostly light comedy, musical comedy or melodrama, with a new show opening virtually every week or every other week – the actors often pulled double and triple duty, as Keitel did: building and painting the scenery, cleaning the theater, taking care of their own costumes and make-up.
But there was also a romance to it: working in the theater, living in a resort town. Here was Keitel, actually being paid to be an actor. Not much, to be sure, but enough to live on. And he was in close proximity to young women, also caught up in the romance of the experience, as well as the headiness of summer. According to friends of the time, Keitel cut a wide swath.
Returning to New York, he opened off-Broadway, at the Cherry Lane Theater in Sam Shepard’s Up to Thursday, in February 1965. He also developed a fascination with and appreciation for the films of John Cassavetes, whose raw, improvised style and independent spirit attracted him. He’d been particularly struck by the blunt, cinema-vérité quality of Cassavetes’ film Shadows and by a scene in the film in which one member of a group of friends has the self-confidence to admit that he likes abstract sculpture, to say that ‘It is whatever it is to you. And that to me is art.’
‘I know what that scene was about, because I was the kind of guy afraid to venture an opinion,’ Keitel said. ‘From lack of self-worth. But after that I had to know what this was all about. One little comment like that in a Cassavetes movie opened an avenue of thinking to me that was closed before.’ Cassavetes was ‘a guy who sustained me for a long time – not personally, but his work did. I used to look forward to his work. He influenced us all. He inspired me and moved me a great deal into wanting to be an actor.’
Steve Brenner, a friend from that period (whose father would distribute Keitel’s first film), recalled running into Keitel one Saturday night in late 1968, at a place called the Third Avenue El on East 59th Street in New York. Brenner and his date began telling Keitel and his date about an awful movie they’d just seen. Keitel was almost equally vociferous in praising the film he had just come from. It turned out they had both seen the same film: Cassavetes’ Faces.
Keitel finally met the director a number of years later when he was invited to accompany Martin Scorsese to visit Cassavetes at his home in Los Angeles, after Mean Streets. Cassavetes regaled them with descriptions of scenes from Minnie and Moskowitz, a film he’d made a couple of years earlier starring his wife, Gena Rowlands, and Seymour Cassel. ‘He was laughing hysterically,’ Keitel remembered. ‘My cheeks were hurting me because I was so nervous, I was trying to smile because he was laughing so much. I could not laugh for the life of me.’
As Keitel continued to pursue roles and take classes, he found a theater community in Greenwich Village that was vital, providing fertile ground for the burgeoning off- and off-off-Broadway scenes that had exploded a few years earlier. Keitel would make the rounds of auditions, while taking classes