‘Don’t tell me that a big strong guy like you gets weak at the knees at the mere threat of a woman’s anger,’ Erica teased him, looking up at Dan, who made an imposing sight. ‘And just because I said it once, I don’t want to hear any more about how Maria thought you looked like Dolph Lundgren. Considering how inaccurate she is about most things, I wouldn’t quote her voluntarily if I were you.’
‘But I do look a lot like him, don’t I?’ Dan struck a pose but then laughed. ‘No, you’re probably right. And my hunk days are definitely over. I just had to get it out of my system.’
‘Yeah, both Patrik and I look forward to the day when you find a girlfriend we can actually have a conversation with.’
‘You mean, in view of the high intellectual tone in this house? How’s it going with Paradise Hotel, by the way? Are your favourites still on the show? Who’s going to be in the finals? You’re such a loyal viewer. I’m sure you could bring me up to date on what’s happening on that highly cultural programme that challenges your brain, so hungry for knowledge. And Patrik – he can tell me all about the rankings in the All-Swedish tournaments, can’t he? That’s mathematics on a high level.’
‘Ha ha ha. Point taken.’ Erica punched him in the arm. ‘Now go on upstairs and make yourself useful.’
‘Are you sure that Patrik knows what he’s getting himself into? I think I’ll have a few words with him about how smart it is for him to walk down the aisle with you.’ Dan was already halfway up the stairs.
‘Fantastic idea. Now get on up there!’
Dan’s laugh stuck in his throat as he ascended the last couple of steps. He had scarcely seen Anna during the time she and the kids had been staying with Erica and Patrik. Like everyone else in Sweden he had followed the story of the tragedy in the newspapers, but every time he visited Erica, Anna had stayed out of sight. From what Erica told him, she spent most of her time in the bedroom.
He knocked cautiously on the door. No answer. He knocked again.
‘Anna? Hello? It’s Dan. May I come in?’ Still no answer. He stood there bewildered. He didn’t feel entirely comfortable with the situation, but he’d promised Erica to try and help, so now he had to make the best of it. He took a deep breath and pushed open the door. Anna lay on the bed; he saw that she was awake. She was staring blankly at the ceiling with her hands clasped over her stomach. She didn’t even glance in his direction when he came in.
He sat down on the edge of the bed. Still no reaction.
‘How are things? How are you feeling?’
‘How does it look like I’m feeling?’ said Anna without taking her eyes from the ceiling.
‘Erica’s worried about you.’
‘Erica is always worried about me.’
Dan smiled. ‘You have a point there. She’s a bit of a mother hen, isn’t she?’
‘That’s for sure,’ said Anna, turning her gaze to Dan.
‘But she means well. And she’s probably more worried than usual just now.’
‘Yeah, I get it.’ Anna sighed. A long, deep sigh that seemed to release much more than air from her body. ‘I just don’t know how to snap out of this. It’s as if all my energy is gone. And I don’t feel a thing. Absolutely nothing. I’m not remorseful, and I’m not happy. I feel nothing at all.’
‘Have you talked to anyone about it?’
‘A psychologist or somebody like that, you mean? Erica keeps nagging me about that. But I can’t get myself together to do it. I can’t picture myself sitting there and talking to a complete stranger. About Lucas. About myself. I just can’t face it.’
‘Would you …’ Dan hesitated, squirming as he sat there on the bed. ‘Could you picture yourself talking to me? We don’t know each other that well, but at least I’m not a total stranger.’ He paused and waited tensely for her reply. He hoped that she would say yes. Suddenly he felt a great protective instinct when he saw her body that was much too thin and the haunted expression in her eyes. She was so much like Erica, yet not the same. A more frightened and fragile version of Erica.
‘I … I don’t know,’ she said. ‘I don’t know what to say. Where to begin.’
‘We could start by going for a walk. And if you want to talk, then we’ll talk. If you don’t want to, then … we’ll just walk for a while. How does that sound?’ He could hear how anxious he sounded.
Anna sat up carefully. She sat with her back to him for a moment, then got up from the bed. ‘Okay, let’s go for a walk. But just a walk.’
‘Okay,’ said Dan and nodded. He led the way down the stairs and cast a look into the kitchen where he heard Erica clattering about. ‘We’re going out for a walk,’ he called to her, and from the corner of his eye he could see Erica trying to pretend it was no big deal.
‘It’s cold out, so you’d better put on a jacket,’ he said to Anna, who took his advice and slipped on a beige duffel coat, wrapping a big white scarf round her neck.
‘Are you ready?’ he asked, aware of the multiple meanings in that question.
‘Yes, I think so,’ said Anna quietly, and she followed him out into the spring sunshine.
‘So, do you think anyone ever gets used to it?’ asked Martin in the car on the way to Fjällbacka.
‘No,’ Patrik said. ‘At least I hope not. Otherwise it’d be time to switch professions.’ He took the curve at Långsjö much too fast, and Martin clutched the handle above the window as usual. He made a mental note to warn the new officer against riding with Patrik. Although it was probably too late. She had ridden in the car with him to that accident scene this morning, so she’d probably already had her first near-death experience.
‘How does she seem?’ Martin asked.
‘Who?’ Patrik seemed more distracted than normal.
‘The new officer. Hanna Kruse.’
‘She seems all right,’ said Patrik.
‘But?’
‘What do you mean, “but”?’ Patrik turned to look at his colleague, which made Martin grip the handle even harder.
‘Jesus, would you please watch the road? I meant, it seemed like you wanted to say more.’
‘Oh, I don’t know.’ To Martin’s relief he was now keeping his eyes on the road. ‘I’m just not used to people who are so … ambitious.’
‘And what do you mean by that?’ Martin said with a laugh, unable to hide the fact that he felt a bit insulted.
‘Hey, don’t take it the wrong way. I didn’t mean that you lacked ambition, but Hanna, she’s, how shall I put it – super-ambitious.’
‘Super-ambitious,’ Martin said sceptically. ‘You have reservations about her because she’s super-ambitious? Could you be a bit more specific? And what’s wrong with super-ambitious women, anyway? You’re not somebody who thinks women have no place on the force, are you?’
Now Patrik looked away from the road again and gave Martin an incredulous look.
‘How well do you know me, anyway? Do you think I’m some sort of male chauvinist pig? A chauvinist pig whose fiancée makes twice as much as he does, by the way. I just mean … oh, never mind, you’ll just have to see for yourself.’
Martin was silent for a moment, then he said, ‘Are you serious? Does Erica make twice as much as you do?’
Patrik laughed. ‘I knew that