I immediately hung up on Lily, hoping she’d understand, and braced myself for the onslaught. ‘No, Miranda, no problem at all.’
‘Good. Now, I’d like a sundae and I’d like to actually eat it before the entire thing melts. Vanilla ice cream – not yogurt, mind you, not ice milk, and nothing sugar-free or low-fat – with chocolate syrup and real whipped cream. Not canned, you understand? Genuine whipped cream. That’s all.’ She walked purposefully back toward the art department, and I was left with the distinct impression that she’d come in just to check on me. Emily smirked. The phone rang. Lily again. Dammit – couldn’t she just e-mail me? I picked it up and pressed it to my ear but said nothing.
‘OK, I know you can’t talk, so I will. Your parents will be our guarantors, which is great. The apartment is a big one-bedroom, and once we put the wall up in the living room, there will still be room for a two-person couch and a chair. The bathroom doesn’t have a bath, but the shower looks OK. No dishwasher, natch, and no AC, but we can get window units. Laundry in the basement, part-time doorman, one block from the six train. And get this. A balcony!’
I must’ve breathed audibly, because she got even more excited at my excitement. ‘I know! Crazy, right? It looks like it might fall right off the side of the building, but it’s there! And we could both fit on it and have a place to smoke, and oh, it’s just perfect!’
‘How much?’ I croaked, determined that these would be the absolute last words I’d utter.
‘All ours for the grand total of twenty-two eighty a month. Do you believe that we’ll get a balcony for eleven hundred forty dollars apiece? This place is the find of the century. So, can I do it?’
I was silent. I wanted to talk, but Miranda was inching her way back to her office as she upbraided the public events coordinator in front of everyone. She was in a wicked mood, and I’d already had enough for one day. The girl she was currently abusing had her head hung in shame, cheeks bright red, and I prayed for her own sake that she wouldn’t cry.
‘Andy! This is fucking ridiculous. Just say yes or no! It’s bad enough that I have to cut class today and you can’t so much as leave work to come look at this place, but you can’t even bother to say yes or no? What am I—’ Lily had reached her breaking point and I totally understood, but there was nothing I could do except hang up on her. She was screaming so loud into the phone that it was reverberating in the quiet office, and Miranda was standing less than five feet away. I was so frustrated, I wanted to grab the PR coordinator and hit the ladies’ room and cry with her. Or maybe if we worked together we could throw Miranda into a toilet stall and tighten that Hermès scarf that hung loosely around her skinny neck. Would I hold her down or pull? Or perhaps it’d be more effective to just shove the damn thing down her throat and watch her gasp for air and—
‘Ahn-dre-ah!’ Her voice was clipped, steely. ‘What did I ask you for a mere five minutes ago?’ Shit! The sundae. I’d forgotten the sundae. ‘Is there a particular reason why you’re still sitting there instead of doing your job? Is this your idea of a joke? Did I do or say something to indicate that I wasn’t entirely serious? Did I? Did I?’ Her blue eyes were bulging out of her face, and although she hadn’t fully raised her voice yet, of course, she was coming awfully close. I opened my mouth to speak but heard Emily talking instead.
‘Miranda, I’m so sorry. It’s my fault. I asked Andrea to answer the phone because I thought it might be Caroline or Cassidy and I was on the other line ordering that shirt from Prada you wanted. Andrea was just on her way out. I’m sorry, and it won’t happen again.’
Miracle of miracles! The Perfect One had spoken, and in my defense, no less.
Miranda looked momentarily mollified. ‘Well, all right then. Get my sundae now, Andrea.’ And with that, she walked in her office and picked up the phone, where she promptly started cooing to B-DAD.
I looked at Emily, but she was pretending to work. I shot her a one-word e-mail. Why? I wrote.
Because I wasn’t entirely sure she wasn’t going to fire you, and I don’t really feel like training someone new, she wrote back instantly. I left to go in search of this perfect sundae and called Lily from my cell phone as soon as the elevator hit the lobby.
‘I’m sorry, I really am. It’s just that—’
‘Look, I don’t really have time for this,’ Lily said flatly. ‘I think you’re overreacting just a little bit, don’t you? I mean, you can’t so much as say yes or no on the phone?’
‘It’s hard to explain, Lil, it’s just that—’
‘Forget it. I’ve got to run. I’ll call you if we get it. Not that you really care either way.’
I tried to protest, but she’d hung up. Dammit! It wasn’t fair to expect Lily to understand when I would’ve thought I was ridiculous a mere four months earlier. It really wasn’t fair to send her all over Manhattan in search of an apartment we could both share when I wouldn’t even take her phone calls, but what choice did I have?
When she answered one of my calls right after midnight, she told me we got the apartment.
‘That’s amazing, Lil. I can’t thank you enough. I swear I’ll make it up to you. I promise!’ And then I had a thought. Be spontaneous! Call an Elias car and get up to Harlem and thank your best friend in person. Yes, that was it! ‘Lil, are you home? I’m coming up to celebrate, OK?’
I thought she’d be thrilled, but she was quiet. ‘Don’t bother,’ she said quietly. ‘I’ve got a bottle of So-Co and Tongue Ring Boy is here. I’ve got everything I want.’
It stung, but I understood. Lily rarely got mad, but when she did, no one could talk her out of it until she was good and ready. I heard liquid swishing into a glass and ice clinking, and I heard her take a deep, long swig.
‘OK. But call me if you need anything, OK?’
‘Why? So you can sit in silence on the other end? No thanks.’
‘Lil—’
‘Don’t worry about me. I’m just fine.’ Another gulp. ‘I’ll talk to you later. And hey, congratulations to us.’
‘Yeah, congratulations to us,’ I repeated, but she’d already hung up once again.
I’d called Alex on his cell to ask if I could go over to his place, but he didn’t sound as delighted to hear from me as I’d hoped.
‘Andy, you know I’d love to see you, but, well, I’m out with Max and the guys. You’re never really around during the week anymore, so I made plans to see them tonight.’
‘Oh, well, are you guys in Brooklyn or around here somewhere? I could come meet you?’ I asked, knowing that of course they were somewhere on the Upper East Side, probably very close to me, because that’s where all the other guys lived as well.
‘Listen, any other night that’d be great, but tonight is definitely just a guys’ night.’
‘Oh, sure, OK. I was going to meet Lily to celebrate the new apartment, but we, uh, sort of got in a fight. She doesn’t understand why I can’t really talk from work.’
‘Well, Andy, I have to say, sometimes I don’t totally understand, either. I mean, I know she’s a tough lady – trust me, I do – it just seems that you take everything pretty seriously when it comes to her, you know?’ He sounded like he was trying very hard to keep his tone accommodating and nonconfrontational.
‘Maybe that’s because I do!’ I shot back at him, pissed off at him for not wanting to see me and not begging me to go out with his friends and for taking Lily’s side even though she had a point and so did he. ‘It is my life, you know? My career. My future. What the hell am I supposed to do? Treat it like a joke?’
‘Andy,