YOUR EMOTIONS | Mood swings can shock you and your partner but should level out around the end of the trimester. Erratic feelings are common: elation, anxiety, hope, panic, ambivalence, fear of miscarriage or gaining weight, depression. As you approach your second trimester your hormones calm down and you should think more clearly. First trimester may seem to drag on but enjoy the feel of a non-elasticated waistband while you can.
BIRTH PREPARATION | Think about your carers: change your GP if you are not happy with him/her, look at what options are available for antenatal care/birth in your area (see Chapter 5: Your Options). If you are booking an independent midwife, you can see her throughout all antenatal checks etc., so do this now. Otherwise, it is really too early to be obsessing on the birth itself. If you feel scared of the birth, write down all the things you fear: you’ll deal with these later.
EXPERIENCED MOTHERS ADVISE | Give yourself a break. Go to bed at 7pm if you want to. Don’t be afraid to whinge or cry. Take time off work if you need to. Let yourself be pampered (or pamper yourself if no one will do it for you).
YOUR BABY | Month 1 The size of a little grain of rice. It’s developing a spinal cord, nervous system, gastrointestinal system and heart and lungs. Your placenta is forming and creating the umbilical cord. You may spot a heartbeat on an ultrasound, but it could be too soon even for this. Month 2 Less than one inch long. Her face is forming with tiny eyes, ears, mouth and tooth buds. Her arms and legs are moving (you won’t feel them yet). Her brain is forming and you can see her heartbeat on a scan. Month 3 Three inches long and 1 oz, with wiggling fingers and toes and even tiny fingerprints. She can even pee. Unbelievably, scans can show smiles, frowns, swallows and sucking.
Second trimester (13–25 weeks)
YOUR BODY | Risk of miscarriage drops considerably, nausea usually lessens and you may be lucky enough to get an energy surge. Abdominal pains and twinges (your ligaments are stretching), tender breasts, heartburn, bleeding gums, cramps, a dark line down middle of belly (linea negra), food cravings, nasal congestion, leg cramps, occasional nosebleeds and constipation are all normal. If this is not your first pregnancy you may feel the baby move as early as the start of the trimester.
YOUR EMOTIONS | Placenta Brain starts creeping in: forgetfulness and disorganization are common, as are creativity and insanely vivid dreams. Your belly should finally start looking like a pregnancy not a surfeit of pies. Start talking to your partner about how a baby might affect your relationship, budget, lifestyle: big issues need to be dealt with. Also talk about how your new girth is affecting your sex life (many men can be scared of hurting the baby and need reassurance).
BIRTH PREPARATION | Book maternity leave. Start to focus on your feelings about the birth, beginning to resolve past birth experiences if this isn’t your first; work out what preconceptions you have about birth, from family, friends, media images. Read Chapter 5 carefully: visit your hospital and other birth-place options in your area. Consider hiring a doula (see Chapter 9). By end of trimester: register for childbirth classes.
EXPERIENCED MOTHERS ADVISE | Wear tight clothes to show off your belly (tents will just make you look fat). Hide bathroom scales. Take advantage of energy if you have it. Start dealing with emotional issues around childbirth: it can be a long haul.
YOUR BABY | Month 4 About five inches long and 4 oz, strong heartbeat, thin transparent skin, soft hair over body. Little finger- and toenails are forming and he’s moving well in an increasing amount of amniotic fluid. Month 5 Ten to 12 inches, with hair, eyelashes, eyebrows and even the occasional hiccup. He can hear your voice and you will probably start feeling him move (about 18–22 weeks). A scan around 20 weeks can tell you the baby’s sex. Month 6 Eleven to 14 inches, about 1lb, his eyes are open. Pruny skin covered in ‘vernix’. Now looks like a small, very real baby. Ten to 20 per cent of babies if born now will survive.
Third trimester (26–40 weeks)
YOUR BODY | Interrupted sleep, nasal congestion, shortness of breath, heartburn, itchy skin (it’s stretching), stretchmarks, abdominal aches, backache, varicose veins, feeling hotter, bleeding gums, swollen ankles and feet and haemorrhoids: it’s a laugh a minute. Then again you may feel on top of the world. ‘Braxton hicks’ contractions can start now (a tightening feeling in belly: just practice contractions that are not labour). Your sex drive may evaporate or accelerate. Incontinence and frequent peeing are common. Do your pelvic floor exercises.
YOUR EMOTIONS | Anxiety about birth is normal. But really get on top of your fears. Keep talking to your partner about all of this. You may feel more vulnerable (or, conversely, powerful). You’ll probably get increasingly tired. If you have other children, start preparing them now for their sibling’s arrival. You may start ‘nesting’ furiously towards the end and everyone will think you’ve gone mad.
BIRTH PREPARATION | Start childbirth classes. Start work on your Blooming Birth Plan (Chapter 7). As you near the birth make sure you are happy with your choices (you can still swap – even late in the day), really deal with your fears and worries about birth (get professional help if you are bogged down), and solidify your plans about how you’ll cope with pain etc. Make practical plans regarding other children and the birth/work handover/finances. Work on your confidence: you can do it, you will cope.
EXPERIENCED WOMEN ADVISE | Celebrate your hugeness: get a photographer to take pics of you or an artist to sketch you, don’t try and hide your belly (it’s futile and you’ll end up looking like Hattie Jacques). Ask people for a seat on the tube or bus (they may not offer but don’t suffer in silence). Sort yourself out about the birth and talk to your midwife about all worries. A doula can be invaluable at this stage. Pack hospital bag two weeks early and buy baby clothes/cot/nappies etc. by 38 weeks.
YOUR BABY | Month 7 Fourteen to 17 inches long, 2–3lbs, she’s putting on much needed body fat and her lungs are developing. Month 8 Sixteen to 18 inches, 4–5lb, she wakes and sleeps, can respond to sounds and knows your voice. Her bones are soft and flexible and she’s starting to get into position for birth. Month 9 About 19 inches and 6+lb, she has less room to kick and wriggle, her vernix covered skin is plumped out, the fine hairs covering her body are almost gone: she’s getting ready to be born.
Overdue (41 weeks +)
This affects around 5 per cent of us. See Chapter 5: Your Options for ways to deal with this.
YOUR BODY | You may be feeling knackered and uncomfortable with all the symptoms continuing as before, possibly even more noticeably.
YOUR EMOTIONS | If you’ve prepared yourself for how common it is to go past the due date, you might be coping well (if slightly nervously or impatiently). If, however, you’re getting ten calls a day asking where the baby is, and you were convinced that by now you’d have him in your arms, you may be in despair. Fear of induction is a biggie (see Chapter 5). Know the facts about overdue babies, understand your rights and your choices and induction can be totally manageable.
BIRTH PREPARATION | Keep working on your confidence and relaxation. Rest, and work through lingering worries. Have a good induction plan.
EXPERIENCED WOMEN ADVISE | Sex (go on, force yourself), vigorous uphill walking, acupressure, acupuncture, ensuring all emotions and fears are sorted out, patience and distractions (salon appointments for manicures, pedicures, hair are one strategy to make you feel pampered when you really need it).